Got Sepsis??

Got Sepsis? Well, that has been the question of the week...

What a week this has been. From the ER to feeling great. From passing kidney stones to feeling great again. From spiking a fever and to going back to the ER to being admitted to the hospital, the past 10 days have been a roller coaster.
The summary of this blog is that I was hospitalized for Sepsis and a Kidney Infection and am home recovering now.


For those that like to know the details of the days, you’ll want to continue. I’ll share some funny moments, frustrating times, and the scary reality of what I was dealing with.


On Thursday, January 17th, I woke up and had a bit of burning when I went to the bathroom. It had happened one day the prior week, but I didn’t think anything of it as it only happened that one time. Within 10 minutes, I had to go again. Ugh! It was 6:30 am and I was getting ready for work as I was going into the office that day. I continued to get ready for work as I felt completely fine but had to stop multiple times as the urgency to go was so strong. At this time, it was burning quite bad. I started my working day at home as I wouldn’t leave for the office until 8:15 however I could barely work because of the constant urge to pee! Because I had just, the day prior, talked to a friend who was experiencing this same thing, she told me about the AZO cranberry pills and so I headed to Walgreens to get them. Walgreens is literally outside my neighborhood, so I was gone for less than 10 minutes. By the time I got home, I thought I was going to pee my pants. I’m not even kidding. I ran from my car into the bathroom and that’s when I noticed the blood. This changed everything. Jeff took Taryn to school and I started researching. I oiled up and then called my doctor, who couldn’t see me until the following week so then reached out to a friend who had recently seen a general practitioner that she liked. I called them and after getting registered into their system, they let me talk to a nurse. The nurse was wonderful. She asked me tons of questions and went through all my symptoms (my one symptom basically), and my health history. She said “Mrs. Dailey, this sounds very serious. You are not going to like what I have to say but we need you to go to the ER.” The ER? What.the.heck..? I have no fever, I feel fine (except for burning and urinating blood). She proceeded to tell me that they have plenty of openings today but with the amount of blood I am explaining (I’ve never been able to see blood in my urine before), it’s important I get it checked out and that they run the proper tests.

Ok then..

Jeff was working from home that day and so I went into where he was working and told him what the nurse said. He closed his laptop and was ready to go. I was NOT ready to go. I had a client meeting that afternoon and other commitments at work that I needed to take care of quickly. My heart suddenly started racing because I felt this sudden heaviness. Again, I feel fine! I called my coworker and let her know what’s going on, I changed out of my work clothes and into comfy clothes and off we went. I text my friend who immediately called and prayed with me and then sent a text to our group so they’d be in prayer as well. I had a couple of other friends who knew what was going on and I text my Mom on my way to the ER.

We arrive, I filled out one piece of paper and the nurse was standing there already ready for us. We are barely through the doors and the doctor approaches asking us what’s going on. They take my vitals, and everything is good. They took a sample from me and the doctor asked me all the same questions the nurse earlier asked on the phone. I think they were looking at me funny because I’m fully ready for work, hair is fixed, makeup is on, I feel fine, look fine, act fine, etc. They came back with the results and said I had a bad bladder infection. They said it probably went undiagnosed for quite some time because I had no symptoms. We were in and out of the ER in 30 minutes.

Jeff and I dropped the prescriptions off at CVS. They said they wouldn’t be ready until 5 pm and so we headed to get something to eat and get home to continue our working day. By the time we got home the blood in my urine was nearly gone (visibly). It was no longer red! Halleluiah! I oiled up again and took another internal dose. Jeff applied many to my spine and soon, the urge to go every 10 minutes had lessened to every 30-45 minutes. Things were progressing right along. We both continued our work day. I spoke with my friend who recommended I get D-Mannose and so I headed to whole foods after I finished up some work to get that. I also continued with the cranberry pills and of course using essential oils internally and topically. I spoke to my friend who is a nurse and she was a bit confused by the specific antibiotic they prescribed me as it’s not something her doctors typically prescribe for a bladder infection. Around 9 pm, I received a text from CVS that my prescription was ready. I already knew I likely wasn’t going to be taking it but I certainly wasn’t leaving the house at this time to go get it.

Friday was a typical day. I continued to feel fine and the urge to go was less and less. By this point, my urine was practically back to normal and the burning was mostly gone. I continued with the oils, the D-Mannose and the cranberry pills. I was drinking as much water as I possibly could and I cut caffeine.

Saturday, I woke up feeling great and went about my day. Around 11:15 am, I suddenly felt like I was being stabbed with knives 🔪🔪 in my lower back and abdomen. We were at a friend’s basketball game about 20 minutes away and I cried all the way home. I read articles off and on for 5 hours and was positive that I was passing kidney stones. I oiled up, took many oils internally, and laid on the heating pad, rotating it from my back to my abdomen. If I had not of had a hysterectomy 12 years ago, I would have sworn on my life that I was in labor. That pain was no joke. I’m so very sorry to all of you who have experienced kidney stones.

The question of taking the antibiotics keeps coming up, however I was still holding out. At this point, I know they can’t help the kidney stones, as a matter of fact, every article I read tells me that they can make stones worse. This is the last thing I need right now. I was still monitoring my urine and my body very closely and knew I would take them the minute I thought it was necessary. Prior to this stabbing pain today, I thought I was in the clear.

One thing I want to make very clear. I’m not totally against antibiotics. I know there is a time and place for them and for lots of medications. Even though I choose to use natural solutions for my health, I’m not 100% against modern medicine. I’ve been educated over the past several years and no longer choose to run for an antibiotic for every little fever and ailment, but it doesn’t mean I’m totally against them. I very much dislike them, that is no secret at all, and I have very good reason for that. In this situation, it seemed like there was no point in taking them. I was not sick. I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t have a fever. Yes, I had blood in my urine for 3 hours.. and yes, I know that is a pretty big deal. Had I of known then what I know now, this absolutely would have changed my decision, but I didn’t know. You also must understand that I was taking natural antibiotics. I was not taking the easy way out by using natural solutions. Believe me, in the short term, it would be much easier to pop the pill that was sitting in the kitchen, but I was not yet at that point. I know the long-term effects of antibiotics and I just was not ready to subject my body to all that comes with taking them. With Essential Oils and natural solutions, there are NO side effects and not only that, by using all these oils I was also supporting my body in so many other ways.

This picture below shows a good majority of what I was using to fight the bladder infection, relieve pain and stay functioning. The Oregano Essential Oil alone will fight the nastiest of infections but I’m wasn't stopping there, I was supporting my body from multiple avenues, in a natural and healthy way.
I’ve also included two great articles that I’d like for you to read. I’m constantly reading and educating myself on natural solutions and found these to be helpful.
https://observer.com/…/the-5-most-powerful-all-natural…/amp/
https://draxe.com/oregano-oil-benefits-superior-prescripti…/

After 6 hours of the most intensive cramps and back ache, I finally passed the kidney stones. Within an hour, my body relaxed, and I felt completely normal again (except for my body aching from being so tense for 6 hours and from being in the fetal position). The thing I didn’t notice then but looking back, I now know… I had no appetite Friday and Saturday (more about that later).

Sunday, I woke up and felt great (again). While picking up around the house, I even stopped to do FB live on my business page so everyone could see that I was doing great! I watched church live, attended a church lunch for all the Life Group leaders, hosted Life Group at our house that afternoon/evening and then did my online training for my business. I crawled into bed around 10 pm and within an hour, my lower back started hurting. Oh. My. Gosh. Here we go again. Round two of kidney stones. Another 5 hours of intense pain, rolling from side to side, in the fetal position, laying straight, wanting to vomit, peeing every 15 minutes because I know sooner or later another stone is going to pass. I tried drinking a ton of water but damn the pain was so intense that I just wanted to bash the cup against my head. Finally, around 4 am it passed. My body calmed again, and I was able to get a bit of rest.

My 5:30 alarm Monday morning came all too soon. I text my coworker that I was going to sleep a few more hours and would be working as soon as I could. I couldn’t sleep much but I tried. Something just didn’t feel right. I felt a bit lethargic. I assumed it was from not getting any sleep but something else just seemed off. I think It was in this moment that I decided to take the antibiotic (Jeff seems to think I started it Sunday evening, but I can’t remember). According to how many pills are gone from the bottle, he is correct, but I just don’t remember (far too much has happened since then). I slept off and on until 9 am and then I tried to work. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t get through an email without having to shake my head to focus and really strain to get through each sentence. I text my coworker that I’d be taking a sick day and I shut my laptop down and tried to sleep. Suddenly I felt like I was going to freeze to death. My bedroom is the hottest room in the house when we have our heat on and so I immediately knew something was not right. No one is ever cold in our room, especially if the fan is not on. I found the thermometer and sure enough, I had a fever of 102.5. Great, just great. You can imagine that I was not happy and of course blamed the antibiotics. I was totally cursing the fact that I took that dumb antibiotic. I kept thinking “I knew I shouldn’t have started taken them” but continued to because I was all in at this point. I tossed and turned. I went from freezing to sweating profusely. My temp spiked to 104.4 (the highest it reached) and I truly felt horrible. I could barely get out of bed to use the restroom. I continued to oil up and take the antibiotic. The lowest I could get it was 101.6. It stayed at 102.5 most of the day, throughout the night and into Tuesday. And yes, I know, it’s not the antibiotics fault. You have to hear my humor through this 😊.

After 24 hours of having a fever of 101.6 – 104.4, and pain in my lower back, Jeff took me back to the ER. The nurse remembered us and this time, they did thorough testing. They took a chest x-ray, CT scan, lab work, checked for flu, Sepsis, strep, TB, etc. Everyone in the ER loved coming into our room. Although I was ill, I love talking about essential oils and each person that came in said it smelled like a spa in there. This is just from the oils Jeff and I each had applied topically earlier in the day. The lab results indicated that all my organs were functioning as they should be. My lungs were clear and there were no more kidney stones (thank GOD!!). The doctor said all my labs look great and there’s no real indication of an infection, however, the high fever is an indication of something going on and so they wanted to admit me to receive IV antibiotics, further testing and close monitoring. I’m allergic to one antibiotic but since we don’t know which one, it’s scary for me to take them. Back in 2011, I had a horrible staph infection and they pumped me with 12 antibiotics in about a 1.5 – 2 hours, giving me 3-4 at a time. One of them caused me to have hives and made my head super itchy. I scratched my head until my scalp bled. Jeff had to hold my hands while the Benadryl kicked in. So… antibiotics are scary, not only because of the side effects but because I’m just not sure which one affects me. My Dad was allergic to penicillin and so I typically stay away from that, but I have taken it and I survived.

Since it’s Tuesday, Jeff had to pick the girls up from school, get Taryn to dance and then go to Jayden’s game. He did not want to leave me by myself, but I insisted I’d be fine as I just wanted to sleep anyway. I didn’t want Jayden to worry when he didn’t see either one of us at the game. He knew I was sick, but Jeff would of still attended and so I wanted things to stay as normal as possible for them. We said our good-byes and I rode in an ambulance to the hospital. I was at the free-standing Methodist ER and so they had to transport me to the actual hospital. Thankfully, I hadn’t been in an ambulance since I was a young girl when I wrecked my bicycle, so I didn’t really know what to expect but I certainly didn’t except that bumpy of a ride. I’m grateful I had pain meds via IV prior to the ride. The paramedics were great. Super friendly and professional. I felt like I was in good hands, it was just a little bumpy.

I get to the hospital and into my room and honestly, I just want to sleep. My sweet nurse comes in and gets me admitted. This took a while which seemed like forever. Not only because there were a ton of questions, but we hit it off and couldn’t stay focused to get through all the questions. Another nurse came in and hooked me up to a heart monitor. Oh yea, in the ER I was having Afib so now I had to wear a heart monitor. She told me that I’d be receiving IV fluids and that the doctor would be in later to evaluate me.

I was freezing but they wouldn’t give me a blanket because my fever was so high. Matter of fact, I had ice packs on the back of my neck and forehead because it was so high. As soon as it would break, I’d be a sweaty mess. I tried to rest but was feeling miserable.
The doctor came in and asked me a couple of questions. I didn’t really have the energy to ask him questions, I didn’t even know what to ask to be honest. He said I’d be there for a couple of days for IV antibiotics and fluids.

During shift change at 7 pm, my day nurse and my new night nurse were in the room with me and my day nurse was giving her a report on me. She said, “Mrs Dailey was brought in Sepsis……”. SEPSIS? What the…….!!?? I recalled them saying in the ER that they were testing me for this, but they didn’t say any more about it, so I didn’t think any more about it. I wasn’t freaking out, mostly because I was just too sick to freak out, but I was confused. Why didn’t they tell me this? Is this why the doctor wanted me admitted? Jeff arrived within the hour and so I mentioned this to him, and he said that when I was getting a CT scan at the ER the nurse came in and said the results for Sepsis were negative and so we didn’t’ have to worry about that. Whew, big relief but why would they say this? I kind of blew it off for the moment because I wanted to talk to Jeff and see how Jayden’s game was, see how Taryn was doing and how she took the news that I wouldn’t be home for a few days. I hate being away from them! I was tired and so was Jeff. He headed home I tried to get some sleep.

The pain meds they gave me at the ER had worn off by this time, so I requested more. I also requested to speak to the charge nurse about this Sepsis diagnosis. She explained to me that Sepsis is in my chart as they didn’t know exactly what was going on and because of all the tests that they ran over at the ER, that’s the “category” I was placed in. My lab work for Sepsis was negative! Matter of fact, all my labs were good, all my organs are functioning properly, and My CT scan was clear as was my chest x-ray.

Now I feel much better! I know how dangerous Sepsis can be, I had an uncle pass from it. I try to sleep, but I can’t. It’s like I can’t turn my brain off. Here are the messages I typed in my notes to keep Jeff updated on my night. I started to update them to be “appropriate”, but this is me.

11:00 I can’t sleep. My eyes won’t even stay closed. It’s like this clock is right beside my head.
11:45 If I turn the TV back on I might be able to go to sleep but it’s so bright, I don’t want to turn it back on.
12:15 Just got more Tylenol. Still trying to sleep.
12:45 Nurse just came in to take my vitals again. BP 103/65 temp 101.5.
1:15 I thought I went to sleep and slept for several hours, turns out it was only 10 minutes. Now I have to pee. But it’s freezing in here and I don’t want to get on the bed.
1:45 I turned in the bed and my IV line got pinched and the machine started going crazy and beeping at me. LOL
2:00 this is BS!!! Why can’t I sleep😬! And the cold sweats have started again 😫 and I swear this loud ass clock is about to get tossed out the damn window.
2:45 they must’ve given me something that doesn’t allow me to sleep. I never have a problem sleeping.
3:00 nurse just came in and did vitals again. BP 115/70😳😳. High for me. Temp 99.9. Another round of Tylenol and Toradol.
3:45 Went from freezing to completely burning up. Ice pack on my head and on the back of my neck. I just want to sleep!
4:00 why did I agree to this??
4:15 back to positive thinking. Going to talk to myself about relaxing my mind and muscles to try and sleep.
6:00 Hallelujah I slept. The nurse just came in to give me my morning meds and to draw blood and give me new bag of fluid.

It’s now Wednesday morning….
My fever is still spiking every couple of hours and I get terrible cold sweats and then I’m burning up and feel like I’m on fire. It’s the craziest thing. Other than that, and the pain I have in my lower back, I was feeling ok. I wasn’t as dizzy and wasn’t as confused per se. Jeff arrived around 8:30 and hung out with me all morning. He worked from the hospital while I rested and chilled. My nurse was great. She came into my room once and was sniffing the air. “What’s that?... What IS that?” We shared with her that we’d just applied essential oils and she explained that she’s been stuffed up today but as soon as she came into my room she opened up and could breathe better. She called another nurse who was also under the weather and told her to come in there. Before I knew it, I’d talked to 6 nurses about essential oils. Some knew about them and some didn’t. I can’t wait to share more with them.

I had a few visitors this day which was really nice. It not only helped pass some time, but it’s good for the soul to chat with girlfriends. I really do have great friends. My friend, the nurse I mentioned before, has been such a great help through this whole process. She understands my oily side and I respect her medical knowledge. I kept her informed of every step and she was able to further explain things to me when I needed it.

The doctor finally came in around 1:30 pm and told me they are treating me for a kidney infection. Even though my lab work doesn't show an infection (likely masked from the antibiotics I took..see, I knew I shouldn't have taken them!! LOL - I'm kidding people!!), and all my tests have come back in a good way, all the symptoms point to a kidney infection. This was not the same doctor as yesterday however, he said the same thing as the other doctor in that I’ll be here a few days as they need to administer the antibiotics by IV and monitor my heart. He also said that it seems like I may have had this infection for quite some time as kidney infections don’t just pop up and become this severe overnight. Through out the day, I did start to feel like I was feeling better. At some point this day, I asked my nurse if I could get a new IV. The original one was in the bend of my arm and each time I bent my arm for more than 2 seconds; the IV machine would start beeping. The nurses finally showed me how to reset the machine myself because it was constantly going off. The charge nurse tried to start a new IV in my arm, but after digging around for a few minutes to hit the vein I surrendered and said it would be ok to just leave it where it is. I know this was an inconvenience to them, but it was also an inconvenience to me having it where it was (have you ever tried wiping with your non-dominant hand??).

I was texting with some of my friends in a group chat and one of them, who lives in Washington State, said she wished she could surprise me by walking in the door. I told her I’d probably have a heart attack if that happened. Then, within a couple of minutes, there was a knock on the door and in walked our dear friends who live like 2 hours away! Although it wasn’t my friend all the way from Washington, it was just as awesome to see this lovely couple. And it still almost gave me a heart attack (I bet my heart monitor was going crazy). The timing was absolutely perfect. She is also on this group chat and so she knew it was going to give me a heart attack and she loves me so much that she snuck up on me anyway 😊. They happened to be in the same hospital visiting another family member and took time to come a few floors up to see me. It really meant so much to me. Again, the timing was so perfect. Although not the best circumstances, it was so great to see their faces and catch up with them.

This is also the day I got to see my sweet Taryn! Jeff picked her up from school and brought her up to see me before she went to church and dance. She ate dinner with me and we played a card game before she had to leave to go to church. This was the first time since Sunday that I really felt like eating something. Hospital food has come a long way. I wouldn’t say it was great but it has certainly improved.

At 5:45, right before they were about to leave, my fever spiked again. I had gone about 5 hours without a fever. They left and I tried to rest. I turned on the tv and watched some HGTV. The shakes started and soon after I was burning up and sweat was rolling again. Another friend came around 8:00 and we visited for a couple of hours. During this time, more nurses came in asking about essential oils. The good thing is that she was prepared and actually had some samples with her. I only had business cards! By the time she left, I felt like I might be able to get some sleep. I oiled up, put Serenity in my diffuser and cut the lights. I was determined to sleep… wishful thinking.

Again, I kept some notes for Jeff so he’d know how my night went.
11:00 was oiled up and ready for bed. Heard the nurses out there so assumed they were on their way in here. It had been a while.
11:30 tired so I decided to go to sleep even though she hadn’t come back in yet.
12 nurse comes in to take vitals, running fever again.
12:30 naturally, can’t go to sleep. Shivers and shakes start. I try to fight it but I can’t. It’s also very light in here so even though I’m freezing I decide to get up and close the blinds, go potty.
1:00 I called the nurse and asked for socks a blanket and some pain medication.
1:30 she brings in the blanket and socks and tosses them on my lap. She watches me as I struggle to unravel the blanket and get it over my legs. As my IV monitor goes off 4 times because I was bending my arms, this one just stands there over me waiting for me to finish. She administers the pain medication. She also gives me Tylenol for my fever that was an hour and a half ago. This is the only time I saw the RN the entire shift.
1:31 going to try to sleep.
2:00 whelp.. that didn’t work out for me. Now I’m burning up so much I had to take my socks off and get out from covers, Drink as much ice water as I could possibly get and put the ice packs back on my head and neck.
2:15 decided to watch tv again. Court shows are funny.
3:00 I’m so hot I decide to put ice from my cup into my bag. Oops. I spilled the bag!! The plus side, it cooled me off a little bit.😂😂
4:30 tv off. Going to try and sleep
6:00 nurse came for vitals. Woke up completely soaked from head to toe.
7:00 cafeteria called to see what I wanted for breakfast. WT………. I’m up... I’m UPP!!!


Thursday
The doctor was in at 7:10. He said that my white blood count has greatly improved. He wants to monitor me for at least another 24 hours, so it looks like I might be able to go home tomorrow. He said if I could commit to drinking 2.5 L of water a day, I can get the IV out. Considering it’s the reason I can’t use my right arm (and texting with my left takes 17,226 times longer)... I decided to commit to any amount to get it out. He came in so early that I wasn’t prepared with any questions yet. Yesterday he didn’t come until after 1:00. Plus, he told me yesterday that I had to be fever free for 24 hours to be released and considering I had a fever again at 4:00 this morning I just assumed that set me back longer. So there I sat, in a gown that was soaked from head to toe from the fever breaking, just waiting for my husband with some soap and shampoo so I could take a shower.

Jeff arrived around 9:00 and I felt good enough to take a shower. It was a nice relief to have the heart monitor removed (and thankfully didn’t have to be put back on it) and nice to have the IV disconnected. I had lots of visitors this day (9 to be exact), starting with out dear Pastor. I literally had visitor one after another all day. From 11 am – 8 pm, I had someone in my room with me. I was just thankful that I felt good enough to have this many visitors. My Mother-in-Love brought me some flowers and my coworker brought us Poke! One of my friends that came by I hadn’t seen in like 6 months. We had a lot to catch up on. I stayed fever free for 12 hours this day! At noon, I needed my antibiotis again and so they needed to hook me back up to the IV. Unfortunately, it had stopped working and when they tried to flush it, all the fluid went running down my arm. The nurse had to start a new one. I’ve ALWAYS had good veins (people always tell me I have good ones, they don’t move, and they are plump). I don’t ever recall ever being stuck more than one time for anyone to take blood or start an IV, but this nurse stuck me 4 times to try and get a new one started. OUCH! Finally, it was in and I was so relieved to have it in a better location. Since I wasn’t able to drink the amount of water they needed me to drink, they also started the IV fluids again.

Jeff brought Taryn up again after school. He was asked to bowl this night and so I insisted he go do that. He won’t admit it to me, but I know he’s been stressed and worried about me. Again, at 5:45 my fever spiked again. So annoying! Jeff left Taryn there with me for an hour until Jayden could come. Finally, I got to see my boy! I hadn’t seen him since Sunday evening. He had a team dinner (that we were co-hosting) after practice but came up to see me after that. We played cards and talked about his senior schedule (course selection was due the following day). I can NOT believe we are already talking about senior year. He had homework and Taryn needed to get to bed and so they took off around 8:00 but only after hitting up the lounge to get some apple juice and graham crackers. Methodist hospital has the BEST apple juice. I don’t really care for apple juice but this was some GOOOD apple juice. I must have had 14-20 during my stay (you know, the tiny little cups that are like 2 oz each). I ordered apple juice for every meal and drank at least one that they brought to me. Most days I drank both of them.

I did get a bit of sleep this night! The nurses didn’t come in every few hours as they have been. I think I slept for 4 hours! The most I've had in a week!

Friday Update
The nurse took my vitals at 6 am and again, I had a fever of 101. I was disappointed that I was still spiking a fever as I was ready to go home. During shift change, at 7 am, the night nurse says to my new day nurse that I’m here for Sepsis. I had to interrupt and say I thought the lab results for that was negative. The nurse explained how even though the lab results showed negative for Sepsis that I was so sick and had such a high fever that that’s what I was diagnosed with and that’s what they’re treating me for. I said that the doctor told me he was treating me for a kidney infection. They looked at each other and didn’t really know what to say. Then, they went on to say how dangerous Sepsis is and how it’s so deadly so “we’re just trying to keep you alive and keep you from losing a limb”. I was so confused. I was already told that I was NOT being treated for Sepsis but now I’m being told again that I am.

The doctor came in shortly after that conversation and I was prepared to ask him about this.
He immediately told me that I’m unable to go home as I was still running a fever. I was going about 12 hours fever free so there is definitely improvement. I asked him about Sepsis and he said “Absolutely! Yes, you have Sepsis. You are very ill”. He went on to explain how I have bacteria in my blood and that is Sepsis. He explained the very wide spectrum of Sepsis and how they need to get ahead of this before it gets worse. Again he told me if I can stay fever free (less than 100), I can go home tomorrow.

My mind went every direction. I completely lost it the second he went out the door. I ugly cried for an hour. I called Jeff bawling, then called my Mom. I was upset that I couldn’t go home, I miss my family. Upset that I felt like I got the runaround although everyone has been so nice, and I feel like I received the best treatment. I was exhausted from basically not sleeping more than an hour or two a day for more than six days (except for the night before).

My nurse came in and saw how upset I was. She sat with me and explained to me that basically anyone with an infection/bacteria in blood is diagnosed with Sepsis these days. Sepsis is a general term and diagnosis, so they don’t miss anything and so the body doesn’t go into septic shock. She said I was/am very ill but I’m not dying (hallelujah). They just needed to get ahead of it, so it doesn’t go that route (which is exactly what the doctor said). She continued to say how I am getting better each day and my labs have proven that (although they haven’t taken any blood from me since Wednesday morning).
This also explains why the doctor was so nonchalant about it this morning. To him, basically everyone in this hospital has Sepsis. Not really… but that’s the only way I can wrap my head around it.

I knew Jeff was on his way, so I figured I’d just update him when he arrived. I had calmed down by this point and was so thankful for this nurse. I had good nurses all week, but there was something different about this one. She took time to explain and she truly cared. She popped in on me throughout the day just to see how I was doing. The other nurses did NOT do this.

My friend text me on her way to visit and asked me if I wanted something from Starbucks. Thank you Lord for good friends! Yes please! She arrived just in time for the next round of drama. We visited for a long time. I hadn’t seen her in months and we also had a lot to catch up on.

I knew Jeff had arrived at the hospital, but he never came into the room. I text him and he said he was talking to the charge nurse… Ut-ohhhh. He was out there with them for at least 45 minutes before coming into the room. I guess I should have called him and filled him in on what my sweet nurse explained to me. He came in and said “oh, I talked to your charge nurse and she said you don’t have Sepsis”. I looked at him and said "I am done talking about Sepsis. I don’t even care anymore if I have it or not!!" He went on to explain how the charge nurse (probably the same one that told me earlier in the week), looked at all my charts and labs and can confidently say that I do not have Sepsis. Jeff said to her “I want to talk to the doctor”, so she called the doctor. Jeff talked to the doctor and the doctor tells him that I DO have Sepsis. SERIOUSLY people, get it together. Can two people just please get on the same page? The doctor also explained to him (just like my sweet RN explained to me) that there is a wide range of Sepsis and although I’m not at the dangerous side of it, meaning I’m not in septic shock, it’s certainly something to get ahead of to ensure it doesn’t worsen. The fever spikes alone were something to be concerned about but adding in the massive headache, kidney pain, etc. I can understand why the doctor wanted to keep an eye on me.

Later in the day, another friend stopped by that I hadn’t seen in months and we were able to catch up. Jayden had another basketball game tonight so Jeff went to that. I missed a great game. Not only did he get to play a lot, he had a 3-pointer. This may not seem like a big deal to you but this coach doesn't let him dribble or shoot so the fact that he took the shot was big and to see that he made it was huge! I'm so proud of him. Once the game finished, I knew Jeff and Taryn would come see me. To my surprise, in walked Jayden too! Jeff talked to the coach before the game and asked if he’d make an exception and allow Jayden to leave after the game. Not only did he make an exception but he (the coach), also prayed for me with the team before the game during their prayer time. I think he's a good guy. I'll keep my opinion to myself on the kind of coach I think he is. We all played cards and of course they made a trip down the hall to get some apple juice! They stayed until 9:30 or so and I was feeling really tired. At this point I was running 99.9, but thankfully that isn’t considered a fever, so I was still in the clear for getting to go home the next day. My peppermint essential oil brought that right down and so I was able to get some rest. I closed the blinds, oiled up, took my serenity and copaiba soft gels (that Jeff remembered to bring me), filled up my diffuser and hit the lights. I was able to sleep a good 5-6 hours this night. The nurses only came in a little before midnight and again at 6 am for my vitals.

Saturday
I’m going home today regardless if they release me or not. I have a get-a-way car planned and my bff said she’d she’d help me escape.
Being that it’s Saturday, the doctor didn’t come until after 9:00. He was happy that I hadn’t ran a fever and that I was feeling better. He said I can go home!!!!!!!!!! He also apologized for all the confusion around Sepsis. I called Jeff and he and Taryn headed to the hospital. They were about to leave to head that way anyway, but this put a little extra pep in their step. My nurse came in to remove my IV (same sweet RN that I had yesterday) and we talked for a while about some things we have in common. I told her how awesome she was and that she was the only RN I had during those 5 days that went above and beyond treating everyone equal. One day earlier in the week I’d asked my RN for another pillow. She said “oh, I don’t do that, I’ll call the PCA to get you one”. I really hated to bother them with this anyway, but I’d already asked so not much I could do now. The PCA cheerfully comes in, opens the cabinet by the TV and pulls out a pillow. If you can just imagine the look on my face. First of all, had I of know the pillow was right there I would have grabbed it myself. Second, why did the RN have to call the PCA when she could have taken 4 steps and opened the cabinet herself?! Instead she said “I don’t do that…” I shared this with my sweet RN and she just couldn’t believe that the things she did were above and beyond, so I went ahead and shared the blanket story with her. At this time, my current PCA came into the room again and agreed that she is the only RN that treats the PCAs with respect and doesn’t talk down to them. Just that morning, after I had finished breakfast this same PCA was taking my vitals and my RN said to me “oh I’ll take your tray if you are finished”. I agreed that I was finished. The PCA said “oh no, I got it”. The RN said “no girl, I’ll take it, you are busy!” The PCA was so grateful and explained to her that other RNs do not do that. She told her that she is the only one that does work that is not her job. Miss Laura was an exceptional RN!

I packed up the few remaining items I had there. Jeff and the kids took most of it home the night before because I wasn’t going to be able to escape with 6 bags if the doctor had told me I needed to stay another day. By 11:30 am I was H-O-M-E!

What a week! I’m still recovering and taking it easy. Jeff is not letting me do a thing around here. I did manager to go to the office today for a few hours but that was all I could handle. By 10:30 I felt exhausted and came home.

From all the conversations with the nurses and doctors at the hospital we know now that it was probably a kidney infection all along and I should’ve been taking a different antibiotic from the start. When I went to the ER the first time, I likely was already showing signs of Sepsis but they never would have known because they didn’t do any lab work. In the hospital, they said, without saying, that they should’ve done more tests in the ER that first time.Thankfully, I am OK, I will make a full recovery and that is all that matters.

Somewhere through all of this I looked at Jeff and reminded him that we dropped our health insurance coverage this year. Not really the coverage actually, only the amount we pay monthly and the deductible. We were paying a ridiculous amount each month to have the insurance but none of us have been sick or gone to the doctor (besides thyroid check ups or something urgent like a concussion) in years and so we thought there no need to pay so much each month. We had a $3,500.00 deductible for our coverage and now we pay a little each month but have a $15,000.00 deductible. Of all years to try and save some money out of pocket. Oops! Praying the hospital fairies will be generous to us.

I really do take many positive things away from this experience. I’ve been able to learn more about Sepsis, the kidneys, the urinary tract and the bladder... Information I wouldn’t know if this hadn’t of happened to me. I wouldn’t say I’m grateful for this experience, but it’s been a test of my strength (I’m a total wuss you know) and has encouraged me to dig deeper into my health journey.

I’ll follow up with a Chinese Medicine Doctor this week as well as my primary care physician. For now, I’m so happy to have slept in my own bed and showered in my big beautiful shower that has amazing water pressure and hot water. I’m talking the antibiotics as also supporting myself with many different essential oils. I’m taking Melissa and Tangerine every 2 hours internally and applying many others topically. I will completely heal from this!

Thank you for reading my journey!

Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019!!

I’ve always been an open book, especially in my blog, however so many things in 2018 were things I didn’t share publicly. I’ve never been one to share everything about every day of my life through Facebook or other social media posts, but I have always been quite open here. That said, I’m more reserved these days in my writing as the kids are older now and I want to respect their privacy.

As you already know, 2018 started out emotional as Kiarra moved to Dallas to attend CFNI. Her moving away was hard on me, it was hard on all of us. I always knew it would be hard and that I’d be sad, but I never thought I’d be the parent that would basically fall apart and struggle to breathe. She was only 4 hours away, yet it felt like a million. Each time she’d come home and then leave again, I felt a part of my heart breaking and aching.  I was (and still am) so proud of her and her obedience to the Lord for following the direction He laid out for her. She is learning more about Him and growing into an independent young lady right before my eyes.

Jayden had an exciting start to the year, he got his drivers license!!  There is something wonderful about having children who can drive. His Grandfather was generous and gave him his Toyota 4 Runner and so he lucked out with not having to pay for his own vehicle. Soon after, he started driving to school and having more independence. From what I’ve seen and heard, he’s a good driver. 

Taryn started dancing again and it’s almost like she never missed a day, let alone years. She is such a beautiful dancer. We absolutely love this dance studio.  They only dance to appropriate music and their costumes for recital are modest (and gorgeous).  She did ballet and jazz and had a wonderful teacher (who happened to graduate with Kiarra).  Taryn had a dance recital in May and it was so great. The entire production was well organized and beautifully done. Over the summer she took a couple of dance classes and now she’s doing Jazz, Hip Hop and Contemporary. She just performed in the winter recital.

Our Life Group kicked off again and we welcomed a new family. Jeff and I really enjoy hosting and facilitating this group each Sunday in our home. We have a time of study and we all share a meal together. With Kiarra being away at college we knew it was going to be a bit challenging to sort out what to do with the kids. Thankfully, Jayden and Taryn assured us they’d be able to handle them and they did.  Even if they mostly watched movies or played games, the kids were taken care of and that’s all that matters.

My grandfather passing away in March was tough. He was my last living grandparent and someone I greatly respected. My husband loved him like he was his own and Grandpa treated Jeff like he was his own Grandson. To sum it up, this is what I shared at the funeral:

Good Morning, For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Trina and I’m Grandpa Duane’s 8^th grandchild and the daughter of Marilyn.

Last night, my cousin Kari shared a lot of great memories with and about Grandpa. Being the youngest of the 9 grandchildren, and so close in age, we were glued at the hip at all family gatherings, the fishing trips to the lake and all the great times at the hotel and we share all the same memories. Instead of sharing all the same memories again, I’d like to share some that my children have had that I’ve been fortunate to witness.

We live in Texas and my children love coming to Iowa. We always stay at Grandpa’s house. Matter of fact, he wouldn’t have it any other way. In the summers my children loved helping their Great Grandpa in the garden and in the winter, they loved helping him scoop snow.  Well, Jayden loved to help, the girls liked to watch and just play in the snow.

They spent hours upon hours sitting at the kitchen table playing Skip-bo, keeping an eye on Grandpa so he wouldn’t play out of turn.

They’d sit and watch his old westerns with him and get the biggest kick out of his reactions like it was the first time he’d seen the episode (and we all know it was likely the 100^th time he’d watched it).

Most days we’d wake up and they’d ask, “where’s Grandpa?” “Oh, he’s out hauling cattle” Mom would say… Or “he’s out mowing for so and so.”  They have seen an incredible work ethic from this man that I am so very fortunate to have as my Grandpa.

Taryn’s favorite memory with him is getting him to smile. In the past few years he didn’t smile as much as he once did, and it was her mission to get him to laugh and smile. She had a way of accomplishing each time.

Jayden’s favorite memory is tilling the garden with Grandpa in preparation for planting his famous corn, tomatoes and radishes.

Kiarra’s favorite memory is playing cards, specifically Skip-bo.

I’m fortunate that my children had the opportunity to know and love their great Grandpa and vice versa. He not only loved them, but he loved my husband.  He accepted him with open arms and we joked that he loved Jeff more than he loved me. Years ago, before his health declined, my husband would have a hot breakfast waiting for him each morning when we’d visit. Jeff would say over and over “I don’t want anything Grandpa”, but Grandpa wasn’t having it. He insisted that Jeff have eggs, bacon, and toast. Grandpa was a very kind and caring man. Selfless and just awesome!  We’ll miss you grandpa.

May was another tough month. Kiarra came home Mother’s Day weekend and poured her heart out to me. She shared with me that she had a large burden on her shoulders and that it was time to make a big decision. This didn’t come easy and certainly wasn’t taken lightly. After 2.5 years of dating Harvey, it was time to end the relationship. There was no fight or falling out. She was being obedient to what she heard in her prayer time. She fought it for months because she didn’t want to do it but the time had come where the burden was so heavy she was no longer herself. She wept… we wept together. These two had talked about marriage and he had already asked us for her hand in marriage. We loved him and his family. This wasn’t only hard on her and then on him, it was hard on all of us. It’s taken faith to get us through this time. There really isn’t a way to understand it, we stand on our trust in the Lord. We stand on His steadfast love for each one of us. We stand on the faith we have in Jesus.  

The school year was over before we knew it and it was SUMMER! My co-worker was going on maternity leave in the middle of June and so I was going to be holding the fort down on my own here in the US. This also meant that if we were going to take a family vacation that we needed to do it immediately.  We settled on making a quick trip to South Padre Island. We had a great time at the beach and out on the water on the excursions we took. We all thought we were going to love snorkeling, but it was not as awesome as we thought it would be.  Other than that, I recommend this place for a quick vacation. We enjoyed the dolphin watching excursion as well as the sunset dinner cruise. We ate super delicious seafood and took advantage of the pool at our condo.

We returned from vacation and Jayden started working as a life guard.  We kept telling him to have the best summer ever and he certainly did. It landed him in some trouble, but he had fun while it lasted.  During these trials, the Lord was really working in us and with the help of our Pastors and friends we walked through some situations. It’s so hard as a parent to know when to show tough love, when to show grace and when to discipline. It’s hard to decide a punishment for a teenager who is, 98.5% of the time, a really great kid.  Do you take their car away?  Phone?  What if they need their phone to work?  Can’t take everything away… or can you?  We did.  We screwed up, we disciplined harshly, sometimes raising our voices and losing control, we showed grace, we loved very tough and sometimes not tough enough. Through it all, I was so very grateful for God’s grace over my mistakes in parenting. I am quick to seek forgiveness when I have wronged someone, especially my husband and children. I’m still learning how to parent these beautiful children that the Lord has blessed us with.  As we go through the ups and downs of life, we need His grace. Just as He gives us grace, we must also give our children grace. They were born sinners. They were sinning before they even knew what a sin was. We all sin. We all must seek forgiveness for our sins and thankfully we are forgiven.

Kiarra was in Dallas most of the summer due to commitments at school. As part of her program, she worked two different camps on campus. One was for little kids during KFN where she got to teach them to bake (which is right up her alley) and the other was with pre-teens where she was one of their counselors.

Tamia had a birthday in July and we asked if we could take her to dinner to celebrate. She said YES! She picked the restaurant and we drove down and had dinner. Although it was just “dinner”, it was so much more than that to us. It was the beginning to the repairing of our relationship with her. We had a great time and really enjoyed hanging out with her and she seemed to really enjoy hanging with us again too.  In August she went off to college and she assured us that she’d be spending thanksgiving with us (and she did).

The girls and I took a trip to Iowa before school started. My Mom and her sisters needed help getting ready for the estate sale and then needed help during the actual sale. Jayden had football so couldn’t go with us. It was a long and exhausting week but so glad we were there to help and be part of it.  On our way home, we dropped Kiarra off in Dallas and we returned just in time for school to start. It was back to setting alarm clocks, busy schedules and late night homework. But it also meant football games, family dinners and structure.

In September Jeff and I went to Utah for the annual doTERRA convention. We hadn’t taken a trip, just the two of us, since our honeymoon. We had a great time and are looking forward to going again this year. We learned an overwhelming amount of information and enjoyed all the presenters and entertainers (especially Hugh Jackman). We heard first hand about all the new oils and products and all the wonderful things doTERRA is doing around the globe. Truly changing the lives of millions.

We hosted Thanksgiving again this year. Jeff’s parents, brother and family, cousin and our friends were all here and we shared a delicious meal. Something very secretive was going and I soon realized Jeff had something up his sleeve.  Behind my back he pulled each person to the side and privately presented them with a Blessing. I had no idea he was doing this. It’s just another reason I love him so much!  Once he was finished, he gathered everyone together and presented a Blessing to Tamia, Kiarra, Jayden, Taryn and then me (best for last - hahaha). It was an incredible evening. Having Tamia here with us for Thanksgiving allowed us to reconnect in a new beautiful way that only God could have orchestrated. And we just spend an incredible 3 days with her and our other children playing games, watching movies and eating. I thank God for those 3 days.

December could be it’s own very long blog post. To sum it up, I’ve been on the struggle bus. Parenting has tested every cell of patience.  I’m not questioning my faith, but I have certainly questioned other things. I’ve questioned my parenting, my discipline, my ability to manage our finances, my friendships, my career, etc. Christmas was heavy this year. It was different, not only was it the first one without Grandpa, but I was carrying so many burdens. I couldn’t shake some of them. It didn’t matter how much I prayed, my brain was a whirlwind of confusion and chaos. I couldn’t even get one prayer out before I was word vomiting a million other prayers and allowing my mind to drift.  Through each prayer, I'd be consumed of other deaths or be reminded of life's happenings. My cousins wife passed away a week prior to Christmas. Our friends from church lost their baby boy just 5 days before Christmas (who have shown more faith than anyone I've ever seen in my entire life after such loss).  A guy I grew up with passed away on Christmas Eve in a tragic car accident.  I knew, without her even saying, that Kiarra was struggling to figure out how to pay for college next semester as she doesn’t have enough to cover the down payment. Jayden has been struggling to make good choices and things with sports have been frustrating. My Mom’s house is under construction and I hate seeing her live like that. I was so grateful that the new toilets and showers were working in the new bathrooms, but the house is just a hot mess. Renovations take time, I get it but I just hate seeing it like that.  Taryn didn’t even want to go to Iowa this year because she didn’t want to have to say goodbye to her Grandma again. Taryn heart has been burdened by some choices of loved ones. She takes things very personal as if someone is intentionally sinning to hurt her and so I had conversations with her about how sin starts at birth and how it’s part of life.  This conversation wrecked me. She simply can’t understand why someone would want to make bad choices, especially when those choices hurt other people.  My niece recently moved out of state and I’m concerned for her.  I don’t share a handful of the long list of burdens for sympathy or even empathy. I share because I, just like many of you, have many burdens on our hands at any given time.  My heart was burdened with so many things I could barely enjoy time with the family. I let the enemy steal my joy. My head was filled with conversations that soon needed to happen with our children, with friends, with other loved ones.  My prayers never stopped, it felt like I was always praying (which isn’t a bad thing).  I don’t for a second doubt that we are on this journey for a reason. I know He has brought us to it and He will bring us through it. I know that He is good and faithful and abundant. I know that He is Lord of all and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can separate us from his love.  And I also know that these things are small compared to other burdens people are carrying. I don’t think mine are greater than anyone else’s and again, I only share to let someone else know that they are not alone in the gazillion burdens they are carrying. There is hope in Father.

2019 is going to be a big year for our family. I’m excited to grow my relationship with the Lord and grow my business.  I’m ready to take each bump in the road with grace and faith. And I’m really excited for the big milestones in our party of 6.

• Kiarra will be 20 in February, no longer a teenager.
• I will be 40 in May.
• Jayden will be 18 in June.
• Tamia will be 21 in July.
• Jeff and I will celebrate our 20^th anniversary in September.
• Taryn will be 13 in November, another teenager in the house.

I’m ready for 2019!  I’m ready to pray more and worry less.

Journey to Health, Volume VI

2018

2016 vs 2017

What a journey I have been on in my health journey the past couple of years.

I'm  not exactly where I want to be (wherever that is) but I'm certainly happy with how far I've come.  Prior to this summer, I had lost 90 pounds.  This summer was challenging for me, mentally and emotionally.  I'm an emotional eater and when times get tough, I turn to food.  I'm grateful that over the past two years I've trained myself (more often than not) to step away from the sweats during times of stress and turn to my essential oils.  I'm not going to get into that now but will share a bit about my journey from this summer.

I started working from home 4 days a week in June and although this was great (and still is), I quickly realized that I do not get up and move around enough.  When I go into the office, I have a good walk from my car to my office and also to the restroom, kitchen, etc.  When I'm home, the kitchen is only 35 feet from my desk and the restroom is about the same. Some days I would be so busy that I wouldn't leave my desk at all. A typical work day would end for me around 4:00 pm and I'd have less than 300 steps.  When I go to the office, I'd at least have 4,000 steps by the end of my work day (and a lot more if left the building for lunch). I'm not even one that counts steps. I don't have a daily step goal however this data is available to me and so I check it from time to time. During this time, I gained 12 pounds. It crept up fast and I had to do something fast before it got out of hand.  I've always loved running but will make every excuse not to go outside to run. Once I'm out there I'm good, and will run for a long time, but I make a million excuses. Too early, too hot, too cold, too many mosquitoes, too late, too dark, too close to dinner, blah blah blah blah blah...  One day, something clicked and I thought to myself, "I'll just run inside my home"... and so on the days I work from home, I started running. I run for 5 minutes every 90 minutes, starting at my front door and going to my bedroom, then bathroom, back to my room to the widows, out to the family room and into the kitchen, around the island and then into the dining room, around the table and then back into my office and then to the front door. When I first started I was doing 5 laps and the last time I did it, I ran 8 (I've not ran in 2 weeks).  I don't sprint... it's just a jog (I'm not trying to wipe out on our slick wood floors or tile) and I'm certainly not looking to sprain an ankle or knee.  This not only helped me to get some extra steps but it gets me up and moving which leads to extra energy throughout the day. Thankfully I was able to drop most of those extra pounds and am down another 2 this week (that's right, I'm down 2 pounds the week of Christmas).

It's been 2 years today since I had my surgery and I still have no regrets.  I feel great and have more energy than before. I'm no longer embarrassed to walk into Jayden's basketball games or go in public. I no longer feel confined to my home (although I really love my home and still love being home). I have more confidence and actually enjoy shopping for clothes again. I no longer hate every single picture of myself and although I know our self worth has nothing to do with how we look, I very much let it affect my day-to-day life. Women often struggle with insecurities and I was not above that, I greatly struggled in this area.  Something about shedding some pounds and having more energy has also strengthened my relationship with the Lord (maybe it's because I don't need to sleep as much and can spend more time in prayer and communicating with him).  I never really felt unworthy of his love when I was overweight, but yet deep down, I knew he wanted me to take care of myself (the temple) and so I would get down on myself and be harsh as if he didn't love me as much as he would if I would take better care of my self. I know these are lies of the enemy, I knew it then and I know it now but I would still fall for them. Are you in this space? Are you believing the lies of he enemy? If so, I encourage you to reach out to me, reach out to a friend, reach out to someone. It does NOT matter where you are in your health journey, He loves you RIGHT where you are. He shows us grace when we eat too many sugar cookies, he shows us grace when we indulge and overeat, he shows us grace through our trials and tribulations and our stressful days and tough situations. He is a mighty Father and He loves us all so very much!

Jeff has been on a health journey of his own.  I'm super duper proud of him for losing over 50 pounds. He looks great and feels even better. He is still working out multiple times a week and has also picked up running. One day, we will run together, but until then, I will continue to do my little laps in the house and he'll continue to run through the neighborhood.

This health journey we are on is so much more than losing weight. We've had a complete lifestyle transformation in our home. From eating healthier to removing the majority of plastic and replacing it with glass, to removing the extremely toxic non-stick cookware and replacing it with cast iron and stainless steal to removing the plastic utensils and replacing with wood and metal. We've all transformed to a healthier lifestyle. We tossed all the over the counter medications and solely use essential oils (we don't even have Tylenol or Ibuprofen in our home anymore).  Again, there is a time and place for medication. I still go to the doctor every 6 months and get my thyroid and hormones checked. I still take prescription medication for Hashimoto's and my hormone imbalance and although they've lowered my dosage since I've been using oils, I am still under doctor care and will be until I've fully transitioned to oils.  We've replaced all candles with diffusers (which is not only better for you, smells better and is also less expensive) and have changed to a non-toxic laundry soap and hand soap. If you'd like to know more about any of this, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. It's taken me years and many hours of reading and doing research to get to the point I'm at right now and I wouldn't turn back for anything. I am passionate about helping others and would love to help you too.

Wishing you all a very blessed New Year.

xoxo,
Trina

Journey to Health, Volume V

May 2016 -- May 2018

In honor of our anniversary this past weekend, I thought I’d share a quick update on our health journey. 

Together, we have lost 140 pounds… 140 POUNDS!!!

We got our mind right and got to it!  No harmful pills, no special food, no lifelong commitments to expensive programs and supplements loaded with toxins, no pre-packaged flavorless (or disgusting flavor) food… We made a decision to better our health, not for our looks, but for our wellbeing. Does it feel great to look better? Absolutely! But again, and as I’ve said before, it wasn’t about that. It’s not about being a certain size or a certain weight. It’s about feeling our best to be our best for each other, our children, our friends and family, our business and anyone we can serve throughout the rest of our life.

And for those of you who want to throw the “but you had surgery” card. You are right, I did. It was a tool that assisted me in my journey almost 2  years ago.  My mind-set was right long before I had the surgery and it has to remain set in this place forever or I will be right back where I started. The surgery isn’t keeping me from gaining the weight back, my mind is keeping me from it. As I mention in Journey to Health, Volume I, I lost quite  a bit of weight before having the surgery and contemplated cancelling it. I’m thankful I didn’t, as that would have been a lot of wasted money as it was already paid for, it has been a good tool in my journey.

I need to be very clear (as I’ve mentioned in my other Journey to Health posts), I’m not judging you if you’ve chosen to go with a program. They simply are not for me. Before I was educated on toxins and harmful products, I tried them (so many that I lost count). I lost weight, didn’t improve my mind set, and gained it back. Jeff too. Over and over and over again. It’s my opinion that this is how the programs work and unfortunately we’ve seen it time and time again.  That said, I loudly applaud anyone for choosing to take control of their health and wanting to make a change, even if that means using a program. It’s not easy to lose weight and make healthy choices all the time, especially with busy schedules, working full time, other activities, etc. I seriously applaud anyone who makes the decision to change bad habits to form new ones. I love hearing people’s stories and how they came from a dark place from unhealthy habits and have found a renewed love for life because of healthier habits. Being healthier is life changing in itself. When we eat healthy, we have more energy, we sleep better, we are not bitter or angry, we have a more patience during frustrating situations (like losing majority electronics in home from lightning) and a more positive outlook on everything.

Over a year ago, Jeff started a gym in the garage of our home. He initially started training a few high school boys, Jayden, Kiarra and some of her friends. It soon morphed into Jeff’s friends coming, several people from church and then neighbors joined as well. Some nights, he has 12+ people training with him and other nights there may only be 1 additional person… and some nights he works out solo.  He has made a decision to become healthy and I’m so proud of him for his commitment to his health, the health of our family and our friends.  If he sees you, he IS going to talk to you about coming over for workout!!  Run, just run!!  haha, just kidding. Although I’m impressed with his workout habits, I’m more impressed with the changes he’s made to his diet. He is eating more and more vegetables and fewer carbs. We still have traditional spaghetti and other carbs (who can live without carbs anyway) from time to time but he’s choosing to eat less of the bad stuff and more of the good stuff. I changed the way I cook and we are eating out less and less (like hardly ever these days). Since I’m cooking healthier, we are all healthier.  Shhhh, don’t tell Jayden I put broccoli in the last burgers I made with ground turkey (haha, just kidding. Although I wish J would eat more veggies, I don't actually believe in hiding foods from kids (or anyone) to get them to eat them).  Do we still indulge in a chocolate chip cookie, or a scoop of ice cream from time to time, YES, we do, and that is ok! 

I am excited to jump back into working out as well. I was really good about it last year and then fell off the bandwagon during the time of Kiarra graduating high school (as in a year and a half ago).  A friend and I were walking a few times a week this spring (and then it got too hot, we are wusses in the heat) and that not only helped to get in a little exercise, it more importantly helped to de-stress. Simply talking to a friend and sharing burdens (while walking) is very therapeutic.  Since I’ve mostly been working from home all summer, I have not been as active as I normally am and the scale was up a couple of pounds. I’m not happy about this and certainly not proud of it. I literally sit here at my desk, all day long. The kitchen is 15 feet away, the toilet is 15 feet away, I’m just not getting in the steps I used to get when going to the office each day. Walking from my car to my desk in my office is probably 1,000 steps and currently I’m lucky if I have 1,000 steps at the end of my work day. I’m eager to get back into lifting weights (small ones) and running again.  I LOVE running. It’s very therapeutic for me and I always have the best days after I run.

This health journey we are on started years ago. When I was pregnant with Taryn, I learned for the first time what eating healthy looked like. I’ve mentioned before that I growing up we ate fried food, a ton of boxed food loaded with chemicals, frozen meals like they were going out of style and drank tons and tons of soda. I don’t fault my Mom for this, she did everything she could to put food on the table for us. I was (and still am) addicted to sugar. I’ve been reading many books and articles throughout the years about how bad sugar, processed food and chemicals are for us yet I ignored and had the horrible mind set of “we are going to die anyway”. This all changed when I realized I could take control of our health and the toxic load intake for me and my family. Now that we have lowered our toxic load intake from many things in our home (cleaning supplies, laundry soap, hand soap, toothpaste, mouthwash, deodorant, face wash, OTC  medication, removal of candles, etc.), we are all feeling better, breathing better and really are living the best life we can live. Do we have bigger goals and dreams, YES!!  We have many more goals and dreams. We don’t get sick as often as we used to and this is a dream come true of its own. Is this a coincidence?? I think not!  We are using essential oils to not only support our needs to stay healthy but to also restore our health when we are feeling a certain way.  I never ever thought a drop of oil would be so powerful and so life changing. I prayed for years about a healthier lifestyle, trying product after product, program after program. I didn’t even really know I was dreaming and praying for a solution until it came knocking on my door.

I am thrilled to be on this journey and you know what, I am thrilled that Jeff is on it with me. He was super skeptical about oils at first (as was I). He wouldn’t really have anything to do with them until he got the flu (almost 2 years ago). Ha, I’ll show you Mr. flu bug!  I put a protocol together for him and was applying them topically every 3-4 hours, giving him oils in a veggie cap to take internally and diffusing constantly. This type of illness usually takes people down for a week (if not longer), but not in my house. We zapped it!  Poof, be gone!!  Last week when we were in Utah, 5,000 feet above sea level, smokey air from fires blazing nearby and super dry air, Jeff started to feel some sinus pressure and was sneezing every 5 minutes. He was not feeling his best but didn’t want to miss out on the amazing day ahead.  I lubed him up and we started our day. Around 4 pm, he was tired and feeling like he should lay down. He decided to miss the last 2 hours of convention that day and go back to the hotel. I told him exactly what to take and what to apply… When I returned after the day with my brand new convention kit that contained all of the new oils, my friend and I had him try two of the new ones. He went back to bed and we went to the street party.  The next day he was feeling so MUCH better. He wasn’t 100% but he was certainly better. He attended convention with me, as well as our team party.  By the following day, he was 100%.  Had we not of had these amazing oils, we would have resorted to OTC medication, full of junk with more side effects than effectiveness. We love our oils!

We celebrated our 19^th anniversary this past weekend and I’m grateful to have this man by my side.. walking hand in hand and enjoying life together…dreaming about our future and living our life to the fullest.

Sending Her Off To College

Today, my first born, Kiarra starts college. A new journey and an experience that will forever change her life…one that will forever change mine as well. Over the past 2 months, we began accumulating things for her to take to college. The bigger the pile got the more real it became. I’ve been thinking about this moment for 18 years. How will I manage without my side kick? We have done life together for almost 19 years. Have I prepared her for being away? Have I done enough? Taught her enough? Prayed enough? Listened enough? 

Last week, we packed up the cars and drove her to the apartment that will be her home for the next 5 months. I rode with her so we could talk and spend time together yet I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t believe this time had come. How did these years go by so fast? Last year, we thought she’d be here for two more years attending community college but just as I wrote in my blog, When He speaks, we listen, those plans changed. On one hand I was incredibly happy and thrilled for her and on the other I was sad for me, Jeff and the kids. Life as we know it will no longer be the same. We have a lot of fun as a family. We love to play games and be silly, bake, cook and have water fights. She almost always goes to the store with me (literally my side kick) and we just love being weird.  I have faith that life will only get better, be better and I truly know this is where she is meant to be.

We arrived before lunch and check in was a breeze. She got the keys to her place and we stopped by to see if her roommates were there. Unfortunately they were not, but many other girls were around and came out to say hi. She was immediately welcomed with open arms. We went and had lunch and then headed back to her place to unload, unpack to get her settled in. Her roommates were there when we returned and they were so nice and welcoming. They are both a few years older and are in their 2^nd and 3^rd year. Saying I felt a sense of relief is a complete understatement of how I felt. I was overjoyed with how sweet, kind, compassionate and caring these girls were. Kiarra immediately had two big sisters looking out for her best interest.

The girls had to go to work, so we sent Jeff to the store and began unpacking and getting her settled. We really do make a good team, we had most of the stuff done before Jeff returned (we may have asked him to hit up Starbucks while he was out). Making the bed was seriously the hardest thing we had to do (top bunk).We laughed and had a great time getting everything organized. Before he returned from the store, we already had a list of other things she needed.  We finished up and then headed back to the store and then to dinner. I was delaying as much as humanly possible. We took her back to her place, unloaded and unpacked the things we had purchased and we said our good-byes for the night.

I was feeling great. I thought to myself “I can do this, that wasn’t so bad”…

The following morning, we went to her place to finish up. We didn’t have a planned agenda for the day and we didn’t have a set time to leave so I was THRILLED when she said she wanted to go shopping to get some sweaters (quite cold up there right now) and a couple other things she thought of.  YESSS… more of a delay and more time with my girl!!  We hit up a humongous Old Navy and a few other stores close by and then had lunch. 

The day flew by and it quickly became time to say good-bye. I thought I was good. We had a great day, I was feeling a little sad to say good-bye but felt I had it together…

We hugged and laughed and said our good-byes. Jeff hugged her and I felt something in my chest. My heart was pounding…. It started racing and chills ran through my entire body. We walked out without shedding a tear… and then we got to the car. We barely made it out of the parking lot when the tears started rolling. I couldn’t stop them. I thought I was ok. I was not ok. The tears would stop for a moment and I’d think I have it together and then my eyes would just start gushing again. I couldn’t get them under control.  My heart was hurting; at times it felt like daggers were stabbing me. I cried the whole way home, stopping long enough to get in a 30 minute nap.

I knew I would be sad, and I knew I’d cry. I just didn’t know I’d literally feel the heartache I felt that day. Even though I know she is in a great place and is going to flourish and do wonderful things, it doesn’t change the pain I felt in my heart knowing she’s not home each night and not under my roof.

Here we are, a week later and although I’ve had a little melt down each day, the pain in my heart has completely turned to joy and I cherish each text, snapchat, and call I receive from her. Am I still sad? Yes!  Do I miss her? Yes!!  But, I have a sense of peace each time she crosses my mind that reminds me “He’s got this”.  It also helps that her roommates have taken her under their wing began pouring into her on day one. They set goals their first night together, prayed together and have taken her with them to campus events and around the city. I’m grateful to God for these young ladies! Seriously, so grateful and so thankful!

Well I thought  that was the end of my post. I’ve been writing this for weeks, mostly in my head, but finally got it in writing late last week. Then, yesterday morning, one of the members in the band shared a message he received from the Lord. He said “Church, God has been preparing you for 18 years for this moment…” I initially took it as if he was talking to our pastor but as I sat there taking it all in, I’m quite positive that message was directly for Jeff and I. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It’s true, we have been preparing for this moment for 18 years. Was I ready?  No! But we have been fervently preparing her for this moment. From getting her first tooth at 2.5 months old, to walking at 8 months, to her first day of kindergarten, first sleepover, first day of Junior High and High school to her first job, driving and gaining some independence to her last day of high school, we have raised her in the way we want her to go.  Throughout every first, every good day, every bad day and all the days in-between, we have done our best to instill in her the principles we believe to be truth. Have we always been perfect? Nope. Has she made mistakes and departed from our teaching? Yep. Each time we have picked up from where we fell and we have moved forward with God leading our path. We had an extra 5 months with her to prepare her for this next first in her life…her very first day of college, today.  We love you Kiarra!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27

A Letter to My Daughter Before She Goes to College

Well…here we are, just a few days away from taking you to college.  Where have the years gone?? A bittersweet day for sure. For the past 18 years (almost 19), it’s been my job to protect you. The time has come… A brand new chapter in your life, a new experience for you. I’m going to miss you, a lot, but I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for you.  You are going to grow deeper in your faith and in your walk with the Lord. You’ll experience new things and meet new friends. You’ll have times of joy and laughter and times of sadness and sorrow. Through each experience; the good, the bad and the ugly, praise Him. Praise HIM!! Praise Him through each happy moment and through each storm. He will hold your hand and guide your path. He’ll wipe your tears in the sad times and will smile with you during the joyous times. He will always be with you.

As I drive away and you feel the sense of independence, there is something I want you to remember. As my firstborn, you had my heart first. My whole heart. I didn’t know I was capable of loving another child because I loved you so much. Independence is a great thing but it can also be scary. Be careful. Guard your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. Don’t be afraid to call and ask us for guidance. Always remember the principles we’ve instilled in you. Make good choices.  Learn from your mistakes. Study hard. Have fun!

When you miss me, and I know you will, call me! Text me!  FaceTime me! (I better see your name come up on my phone a lot!!)  Seriously, anytime of the day or night, if you need anything please do NOT hesitate to reach out to us. You are never too grown or too old to need your Mom. Yes, I said it. Mom. M-O-M, Mom.

I know you have to go, but I have a brilliant idea… sleep in and skip class so you fail and have to move home!!  We can get you your job back at TSA (hee-hee)!!  Although I’m only half joking, I really do want you to succeed. You are an incredibly beautiful young lady with an even more beautiful heart and soul. I’m incredibly proud of you for listening to the Lord and being obedient to His calling for you. You will be blessed by this obedience.

You are a blessing to me, our family, and so many others. I Love You Kiarra!

Medical Emergencies

One year ago, we had quite a scare in our family. In my Journey to Health Volume II blog, I mentioned that on Day 16 I had a great check-up and was ecstatic but then things took a turn for the worse, but it didn’t have anything to do with me and had everything to do with Kiarra and my brother, Talan.

Kiarra had her wisdom teeth removed on December 28, 2016.  She was swollen as one would expect, and we have some pretty hilarious video coverage of that day, but all went well and she was recovering nicely. Once it was time to go back to school, she did and was feeling ok.  She had her two week check-up with the surgeon and everything was good. He said she was healing perfectly and she could resume normal activities.

Just two days later, Friday (the 13^th) morning, she woke up swollen and in major pain. I called the surgeon and sure enough they wanted me to bring her in.  Kiarra was so worried about missing work that she didn’t initially want to go back to the doctor. Once we got there, the doctor had one quick look at her and told me they had to take her into surgery immediately to open her back up and get the infection out.  They whisked her away and the nurse handed me a bunch of paperwork to sign. Because she had eaten yogurt and drank some things earlier that morning, I was basically signing her life away. I signed papers that I wouldn’t sue them if something happened to her while under anaesthesia since she didn’t have an empty stomach. Then, more papers to approve resuscitation if need be… and of course all the regular papers you have to sign when agreeing to surgery. It all happened so fast, I didn’t have time to think, I just signed away. I asked the nurse for reassurance, but they couldn’t give me any (for obvious reasons). With a heavy heart, I went to the waiting room.

I no longer sat down to take a deep breathe and to call Jeff with an update when I got a call from my Mom.  She was sobbing on the other end of the phone and I could barely understand a word she was saying. All I heard was “pray for your brother, he’s not breathing”. And then silence. She was driving through the hills in Iowa and had no service. I was frantically trying to get a hold of her, and just lost it and started sobbing myself. One of the sweet nurses from the surgeon’s office came out to console me, thinking I was upset about Kiarra (which I was, but this wasn’t just about her). I quickly explained that I was ok, and that I wasn’t upset about Kiarra, but something else in regard to a phone call I had just received. 1. She didn’t believe me.  2. I know both situations is what caused my meltdown. 3. I was still moving a bit slow as I was still recovering from surgery as well (and on day 16 of not taking hormone medication... which was a disaster in itself).

I got a hold of Jeff, still crying,  he thinks I’m upset about Kiarra (which I am) but barely got a few words out when my Mom called me back. I had to hang up on him to talk with her…she briefly updated me and said he was now in an ambulance but wasn’t breathing when they got to the ambulance and also had no blood pressure…

I finally got to update Jeff and soon after, Kiarra was finished and the surgeon was ready to talk to me. He said he has been doing this for over 30 years and has never seen an infection this bad and escalate this quickly (remember, he just saw her two days prior to this and everything seemed to be good). He said he has definitely had some cases where infections happened but mostly dry sockets or something minor. He only remembered two other cases that were quite extreme where he had to go back in and open someone up in this emergency type of situation but neither had the infection this bad. He had this look on his face that I’ll never forget. A deep look of concern, almost as if he was scared. It was a look of compassion yet fear.  He had JUST seen her in his office two days ago and she was healing perfectly.  Mind you, I was also internally freaking out about my brother so my mind was all over the place. He told me all the signs to watch for in the case he didn’t get it all out. He told me she was MAJORLY swollen and that it would only get worse within the next few days. He gave me the emergency number to reach him if anything transpired over the weekend.  The nurse gave me additional aftercare instructions and I was able to take her home. When he told me that she was majorly swollen, I was expecting the same amount of swelling that she had after having her wisdom teeth out. I was shocked when I saw her. She was almost unrecognizable. It looked as if she had a softball in her cheek (and she was highly medicated). It immediately brought tears to my eyes (thankfully I had sunglasses on). This trip home was not as fun as the trip two weeks prior. The first trip was full of a very hilarious Kiarra acting like ET while driving a race car and wanting me to slow down so we didn’t get pulled over by the cops (I was only going 2 mph over the speed limit).  This trip was brutal. At first we couldn’t get her in the car, she would not stand up from the wheel chair and was just in so much pain.  More pain than I’ve ever seen her in! She was crying hysterically, confused, mad and again soooo worried about her job. She gave me the same look she gave me as a young child when she’d get those stupid shots… the look of “save me…why are you doing this to me”.  It was awful. I was driving and trying so hard to be strong for her, holding her hand and telling her it was going to be ok but about half way home, I lost it. That was even more confusing for her. Thankfully we don’t live that far, and I was able to get it together. As all this is happening, my phone is blowing up with texts from my family in Iowa either with information on Talan or wanting information on Kiarra.

We got home, Jeff helped me get her settled, get oils applied and then I was able to take a deep breathe.

I called my Mom and she gave me the update… Talan was alive but only after being resuscitated two times. He and my nephew were out and about doing somethings when he began having an asthma attack. My nephew drove him as fast as he could to meet up with an ambulance and when they got to the ambulance, he could not breathe. The ambulance took him to the local hospital and they couldn’t get a blood pressure and began to lose him. They had to resuscitate. This hospital took him to another, larger, hospital in the city where at some point they had to resuscitate again.  Finally, they managed to stabilize and get a ventilator in him. He was in a coma but stable and resting allowing his lungs to heal. His daughter, just 20 years old, was called in to make decisions. My Mom, Teige & Kathy, and my nephews were there as well. I text our life group, our pastors and our amazing prayer warrior friends and we all began to pray for him.

Kiarra didn’t want anyone around her and didn’t want anyone to see her. My heart broke, it was so hard seeing her in so much pain. All you Moms how I’m feeling here, it is extremely hard to see our children in pain. She was taking the pain medication and we were applying oils that support infection and pain but the swelling was just so much. She finally looked at herself and was shocked. She wept. The doctor said it would take weeks for this swelling to go down. Our sweet young pastor came by with dinner for us and prayed with us. Harvey came as well; he held her hand and comforted her. She slept a lot.

It was a very scary 24 hours for both Kiarra and Talan. I received an update on Talan mid-morning and his lungs were stronger and they said they’d remove the ventilator if he continued to improve, praise the LORD. Mid-afternoon, the ventilator was out and he was breathing well, talking and being his typical goofball self. He was still in ICU and was being so ornery that they kept getting into trouble from the nurses for being too loud. He had everyone cracking up.  It wasn’t long and he went from being on the ventilator to being released. Someone who had just been resuscitated twice within the past 24 hours was now free to go home. Mind blowing to me. But, that’s God. He is so good, always!

Kiarra was not doing so well. The swelling was only getting bigger. The pain was unbearable. She had homework and was still so worried about her job. I text her boss and told her she wouldn’t be there for at least week and they were so understanding. That helped ease her mind a bit.  She returned to school, thankfully she had late arrival and early dismissal so she didn’t have to be there all day every day. After a couple of days, the swelling in Kiarra’s face started to go down and she had a full recovery. It took a full 3 months for it go down completely but it did and she’s doing great!

Although we don’t always get along, Talan is an important person in my life and I can’t imagine him not being here. This was a scary situation and I’m so glad they were able to save him and he was able to recover…now if he’d just take care of his asthma daily instead of when he just has flare ups… that’s another blog for another time. :)

Journey to Health, Volume IV

It has been one year today since my surgery and 18 months since I made the final decision to take charge of my life and my health. I have no regrets!! Like I’ve said in my other updates, I have more energy than I’ve had in years. I enjoy going out with my husband and family. I love taking pictures again. I have a new confidence that I didn’t know I could have. I look back at pictures and barely recognize myself, especially since some of them were just last year. There are days it seems like it’s been forever since I started this new journey and yet other days it seems like it’s only been a few months. I lost a part of my identity when I gained so much weight and am so happy to have found me again...  A transformation that has me putting the past right where it belongs. I’m closer to the Lord now that I can hear from Him and follow the path he has set before me instead of hearing the lies of the enemy. It’s a path I have ignored and turned from for so long because I believed the lies and was insecure.

I really am happy with where I am today. Although I’ve plateaued for the past 6 months, I am completely ok with that. I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time and my body has been adjusting to all the changes (90 pounds in about 6 months). My mind is still adjusting to the changes. When I feel hungry, I sometimes still put more food on my plate than what I can eat. I’m still cautious about eating in front of others, wondering if they are judging me (I’m working hard to overcome this). I have thought about the possibility of stretching out my stomach and becoming obese again and that is terrifying. I have to continue this mind-set of staying healthy because I’m out of options. It really is all about the mind. The pill popping/shake drinking/you must eat our food programs are only temporary and never worked for me. They’d temporarily work but never long term. Matter of fact, I don’t know one person that they’ve worked for long term. As soon as the products and food are stopped, the weight comes creeping back, sometimes fast and furious and sometimes slowly. And don't even get me started with the programs that claim to be all natural but are loaded with artificial ingredients and synthetic garbage. It's an unregulated market and these companies can say anything they want to get you to take their products. It sure would be wonderful if there was a magic pill/program for obesity, but there is not. It really is a mind-set and one that is very hard to maintain. Stress and boredom are the top reasons for weight gain. Who can escape stress?  There are times I don’t feel stressed but know that I am because of everything going on in our life. I’m also very grateful that I have essential oils to combat stress and every other ailment I have, I don’t know where I’d be today with these oils. They really have helped me maintain a clear mind and get to where I am today.  And no, this isn’t a pitch on the oils; I just must give credit where credit is due. I use oils daily for health and wellness and use specific ones on the days I’m stressed, sad or just need a boost in energy. I LOVE my oils! As for boredom, I don't know many people who are bored but from what I read, it's the reason people eat so much so we'll go with that. Thinking about it, I have definitely eaten when I've been bored.

Let me be clear, I’m not pushing surgery. It has helped me in my journey but again it really is a mind-set. I survived Christmas 2016 on liquids only. I didn’t take one bite of real food for weeks and contemplated cancelling it all together. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the change in how I think about food and what I choose to put in my mouth. I don’t always make the right decisions, I let coke slip back into my life and have to consciously decide daily if I want to drink it or not. I LOVE coke, absolutely love it, but also know it’s extremely bad. The sugar alone is just ridiculous (but oh so good). I also know exactly what I need to do to rid myself of the cravings for Coke (one drop of Lemon oil in a shot of water twice a day). I’ve had entirely too many scotch-a-roos and pretzel/rolo/M&M things the past 5 days – TOOO MANY! But, I somehow managed to not gain a single pound during the holiday, actually I'm a pound less today that when we arrived in Iowa 5 days ago. Where I failed with the yummy, chocolaty, caramel pretzel goodness, I made up for it with my meals and ensured healthy veggies and protein were on my plate (and a little bit of jello salad goodness).  

BTW - Have you noticed my husband?? He is down 40 pounds!! He has changed the way he eats and has continued to work out (he heads up a crew of workout peeps at our home 3 times a week). He takes a couple of essential oils each day to help with his appetite and has also changed his mind-set.  He is consciously making really good choices on what he eats. I’m super proud of him.

Our entire family has become healthier since I made the choice to take charge of my health. Kiarra has become vegetarian and I’m so proud of her and the choices she has made to get healthy as well. Now if we can just get Jayden and Taryn to eat a few more veggies....it's a work in progress.

My advice is simple. Research. Research. Research. Google is the most wonderful tool and it's always right at our fingertips, you can find anything and everything out there. There will be lots of information, some good, some bad and of course lots of opinions (just like my opinion above, it's my opinion).  Not everything you read will be accurate, so you have to dig and read the good and the bad and then weigh your options to make the best decision for you and your family. If you are going to use a product, make sure it has undergone 3rd party testing and is truly natural (using one that is full of artificial gunk may help you lose weight but then you are damaging your health in other ways). And please, do not pick a pill or a program because it makes you lose weight the fastest, we all know how those turn out. It's better to make wise eating choices and lose slow than to lose super fast. And yes, I am aware that I lost the second half of my weight super fast. It wasn't good but the alternative for me was far worse. As I've written in my previous blogs about my journey, I researched, spent time with nutritionists and doctors, prayed about it a lot (for years) and made the best choice for me. Once you get your mind-set right, you will be able to accomplish anything you set your mind to!

Just as I said in my last update, if you are suffering with your appearance and/or weight, please reach out to me. I can’t wave a magic wand and fix anything but I will certainly listen, encourage and be a friend you can confide in. 

ps – If you are currently on journey to better health, I am extremely proud of you and will support and cheer you on. Anything anyone does to better their life and their health is something to be very proud of. It’s a big step to take and one I don't take lightly. As women, we need to build each other up and support one another especially when it comes to our health and appearance. It's important to have an accountability partner who you love and trust but who will also be brutally honest with you.

A HUGE thank you to my husband, my children and all my family and friends who have supported me during this time. The countless texts, FB messages, and words of encouragement have been extremely helpful and I greatly appreciate it.