WOW! What a year 2020 has been. Through the ups and downs of 2020 Jeff and I feel very fortunate that we have been able to continue to work, when many others have not. I don’t ever want to take it for granted.
Overall, the year hasn’t been terrible for our family. Because of this quarantine, life as we knew it, slowed down. There were no activities to attend, no school functions, ball games or parties. Life came to a screeching halt for everyone and because of that, we were able to spend more time with our older kids this year than in many years past. I consider that a huge blessing.
When all this started, Kiarra immediately moved home from college and finished the semester online. She was home throughout the summer and then went back to Dallas to finish her last semester at CFNI in August. I have to admit, it was wonderful having her home for so long. Soon after she returned to Dallas in August, she, along with many others, tested positive for COVID. Kiarra and all her roommates had to quarantine, along with about 125 others on campus. They made the best of it and really lived it up during that time. They all had, what I would consider, a very mild case of COVID. The only symptom they had was when they lost sense of taste and smell for a couple of hours 3-4 days after testing positive. Other than that, they were great. As they were not allowed to leave their room, the day she and all her roommates tested positive, I packed up several fighter essential oils and supplements and picked up a bunch of healthy food and drove them to her and her roommates. They diffused constantly, applied oils topically and took the supplements. Thankfully, when they got tested the second time, they were all negative. Kiarra graduated from CFNI in November with her Bachelors of Practical Ministry in Biblical Counseling. She will continue her education full time at DBU to get her Bachelors of Sociology and will then go on to get her Masters degree to become an Adoption Agent. If you are reading this, I assume you know me pretty well and know that I have always dreamed of adopting a child (or five). To say I am thrilled about this is a complete understatement, I can’t wait to see all the lives changed. This fall she started working as a nanny and she loves it, she’s always been great with kids so I didn’t doubt this job for a second. The family she works for has 4 girls, ages 4-11 and they are a handful. Kiarra moved into her first apartment in November, right before graduating from CFNI. She and her roommate settled in quickly and they got a puppy. She was able to come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas as the family she works for went out of town. She’s taken classes each semester at DBU and will finish up her Bachelors in Sociology degree there within the next year or so. Then, she’ll continue on to get her masters at UT.
Tamia also spent quite a bit of time with us this summer. She was able to come for Jaydens graduation and then she stayed with us for almost 2 months. As I’ve said before, I feel complete when all the kids are under one roof. We have so much fun when we are all together. The kids are so close and they get along so well. I love to sit and just listed to their stories, especially when they share memories from their childhood. Tamia started her last year of college this fall and is on track to graduate in May 2021. She is so brave y’all!! She will be a high school math teacher! She has always been so patient when teaching her siblings and others, this is going to be such a great career for her. She’s always had the most kind heart but she can be tough when she need to be, a perfect combination for teaching high school kids. Teachers have the unique ability to change and shape lives daily. These kids often spend more time at school than at home and so she’ll be able to be a positive light to those she’s able to influence. Tamia is working as a server at a steakhouse and also just moved into her very first apartment. She was able to come and spend time with us over Thanksgiving and Christmas (my heart is full).
Taryn went back to school, in-person, when the fall school year started (well, 3 weeks after school started). She is half way through 8th grade and thriving. Taryn is the editor of the yearbook this year and this is no small feat. There is a lot of pressure on these editors to ensure everything going into the yearbook is perfect. With so many kids still doing school online from home, it’ll be a very different yearbook than ever before. Taryn played volleyball in school again this year and is now playing basketball and club volleyball. She likely won’t play basketball after this year as it’s not something she loves. She enjoys it, but she loves volleyball and track so I think she’ll stick with those in high school. Wow! Did I just say high school?? Taryn isn’t our baby girl anymore. She has grown up to be this beautiful young lady and she is so kind and generous. She can read me better than anyone and is so comforting. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to hide my feelings from her, she always knows when something is wrong or if I’m upset. She loves to organize, I often find her in the pantry re-organizing or in the middle of the night she’ll re-arrange her room and re-organize all her clothes and things. Back in May, at the end of her 7th grade year, Taryn received the Viking Award from her school. This award is given to one boy and one girl in each grade. It’s teacher nominated and then all the staff votes. I’ve mentioned before that this is Taryns 5th school (even though we’ve lived in the same house) and I’ve worried from time to time about her adjusting. She, along with other kids in our neighborhood, have had to make new friends with each new school. She really loves her school, the teachers, coaches and administrators. I didn’t think I’d ever like a school more than what I liked WCJH, but Adams has by far surpassed them in my book.
Jayden absolutely loves the Architecture program at University of Houston. Although all of his classes are online, and he has no roommate or suite mate, he has still managed to enjoy his time there. He is busy! This program is no walk in the park. I thought he’d spend his first year or two doing basic courses and would later dive into architecture but he has already had multiple projects. They wasted no time getting right into it. It was pretty quiet on campus this fall, as few students are there and not many things are open. Thankfully, the gym is open so he’s been able to work out. There is a bowling alley on campus so he and his friends go bowling quite often (he even asked for bowling shoes for Christmas). Of course Jeff absolutely loves that he is so into bowling. Jayden was able to come home several weekends as he’s only 45 minutes from us. There was a point that I didn’t see him for 3 weeks and I was really starting to miss my boy. I know, I know… cut the cord, they all grow up. Blah blah blah.
I wrote in a previous blog From Six to Three that is was going to be difficult transitioning from a house of 6 to a house of 3. There were times that is was noticeable and other times it just seemed normal. Well, normal for a year like 2020. All three of them basically left at once and that is a shock to my heart. Even now, anytime Kiarra has come home from Dallas, Jayden also comes home but then they leave at the exact same time to return to school What the heck!!?? They could, at a minimum, wait a few hours in-between to leave, but noooooo, they leave at the EXACT SAME TIME😂. Honestly, shhh - don’t tell them, maybe it’s better they do it this way. If it was drawn out, it may be worse.
I also mentioned in that blog post that it would be a difficult transition to cook for only 3 people. I have not mastered that and still cook for 6-8 people most of the time. It’s like my brain won’t let me cook for less, I can’t figure it out. It seems so easy, “just make smaller portions” but all the recipes in my head are for 6+ people. It’s easy to double up on them when we have guests but for whatever reason, I can’t cut them in half. So weird, right?! Because of this, I’ve really only been cooking once or twice a week. I miss cooking, I actually really enjoy cooking. Thankfully, Taryn and a couple of her friends come to our each each Wednesday and I feed them before taking them to practice. This has given me an extra night of cooking and since it’s for 6 of us, I know what I’m doing and it’s the perfect amount.
Jeff and I continue to work from home. I went to the office for a couple of weeks the beginning off November, after we hired someone to work with me here in the US. The plan now is to only go in once or twice a week. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t go in at all but my coworker wants/likes to be in the office.
With being home or together pretty much all of the time, you’d think that Jeff and I would get sick of each other but it’s quite the opposite. Of course he still annoys me from time to time (and I do everything I can to get on his nerves 😂😂) but our relationship has really flourished this past year. Election years are a little tough on couples who don’t see eye to eye on political matters. Thankfully, we were able to discuss things a bit more this year. As soon as things started to get a little heated, or down a path we didn’t like, we’d stop the conversation. We agree that we can see each others points and although we may not completely agree on the point itself, we can understand and have respect for one another. We’ll never be able to convince each other of our beliefs because we were raised differently, grew up in totally different worlds and were exposed to very different worldly things. Jeff will never ever understand what it was like to grow up white, in a teeny tiny town, with an overall population smaller than his graduating class. I’ll never understand what it was like to grow up black, in the city of New Orleans. We have different opinions and beliefs on some worldly things because we are different people, raised very different… but the beauty of it, is that IT IS OKAY! We don’t have to believe the same about everything. Seriously, how boring would our life be if everyone had the same thoughts and beliefs?! Sounds terrible and boring! When Jeff and I first had children we didn’t even agree on the way to discipline them but over time, and through many conversations we came to an agreement (read more about that here in Are Your Children Likable). There are many political things that we DO agree on, we actually agree on more than what we disagree on (I think he’s moving to my side 😂😂). The most important thing is that we agree on the things that matter the most (religion, family, health, finances, Trina is the boss, etc.).
Jeff had his 20 year anniversary with AT&T this year. TWENTY YEARS! We are so fortunate as it really is rare to be able to stay with a company for so long these days. Jeff really wanted to celebrate with all 6 of us and we were finally able to do that over Thanksgiving (thank you AT&T for the delicious meal).
I had my 5 year anniversary this year and was fortunate to gain another week of vacation. I was on my own for a while this year as my other co-worker left in July and we didn’t hire her replacement until November. My boss and the rest of my team is spread out (The Netherlands, UK, UAE, England) and there have only been two of us in our US office for a couple of years. It was a bit odd at first but I quickly got use to it.
This past summer, Jeff and I were supposed to go to Europe for 3 weeks. We had been planning the trip for a while and although I would have had to work during one of the weeks, we were so very excited about this trip. Jeff has never been out of the country and so he was super excited. Perhaps 2021 will be our year to take our trip around Europe, or maybe it’ll be 2023. Whenever it ends up being, I’ll be grateful for the time.
For the first time ever, we flew as a family to Iowa this year for Christmas. We have each flown but we’ve never all flown together as a family because we always drive. Since the kids were little (after 9/11), it was just easier to throw everything in the car and go. There were times it was an exhausting drive but they kids were so used to it, it’s all they knew. Taryn remembers flying one time, but she doesn’t remember the trip itself, she only remembers crying because her ears were hurting. Kiarra flew to Boston over the summer but prior to that, she also doesn’t ever remember being on a plane. I will say, it was so nice getting there and not being exhausted from being in a car for 15 hours. We were able to be there for a full week this year. With the exception of going sledding one day, and stopping into my friends boutique, we didn’t leave Moms house. It was very strange not seeing extended family. I sure hope it’s the last year we have to be isolated from others because I miss my peeps! It snowed while we were there so that was nice.
We truly have so much to be thankful for in 2020. We were able to chill. Like really really chill. We took a much needed break from the hustle and bustle of life and enjoyed home. I’m so thankful for all the great things that came from 2020. I now have an appreciation for toilet paper, something so simple that we all took for granted.
As we reflect on the year, I asked Jeff and each of the kids to share 2 highlights of this year:
- Creating a better bond with all three of my siblings ~ Taryn
- Figuring our who. My true friends are ~ Taryn
- Buying my very own car ~ Tamia
- Getting my own apartment ~ Tamia & Kiarra
- Graduating from CFNI ~ Kiarra
- Graduating from High School ~ Jayden
- Starting college ~ Jayden
- Spending time with all the kids & each other ~ Jeff & Trina
- Spending a week in Iowa this summer ~ Jeff
- New family pictures ~ Trina
- Jayden graduating from high and getting to have a ceremony and party ~ Jeff & Trina
- Kiarra graduating from CFNI and getting to have a ceremony ~ Jeff & Trina
- Making a huge lego ship ~ Jeff
- Prank Wars ~ Trina
- New workout countability partner/friend ~ Jeff
- Date nights with friends ~ Jeff & Trina
- Marilyn’s tomatoes ~ Jeff
- Hibachi night where Jayden was the chef & going to Sister Duo Restaurant where Kiarra and Taryn were the Chefs ~ Trina
- Leadership Academy ~ Jeff & Trina
- Spartan Trifecta ~ Jeff
- Birthday Parades. I mean, why are these just now a thing. Brilliant!! ~ Trina
- Beach days with friends ~ Trina
- Reconnecting with old friends ~ Trina
Ok, ok… I couldn’t keep mine to just two. I’m just so very grateful and thankful for so many things. 2020 wasn’t the best year ever but it certainly wasn’t the worst. I chose to find joy in the tough moments, positivity when everyone else in the world seemed to be so negative and most importantly love over hate.
Wishing you all a blessed 2021!!
ps - I'm not the boss. It was a joke.
