One year ago, I was meeting with a
nutritionist every three weeks as part of my journey to a healthier
lifestyle. If someone would have told me
last year that I’d be where I am today, I wouldn’t have believed them. Matter
of fact, I likely would have called them a liar and been upset for false
hope. You see, I was told for years by
multiple doctors that I’d never lose the weight, and unfortunately I truly
believed that. I never thought I’d be
able to be healthy again. I was extremely insecure and believed what they told
me. I’ve believed doctors for years, even far before my weight gain. Even back to when I was 16 years old and they
wanted to perform a hysterectomy on me because of all the problems I had with
cysts and fibroids. They told me I’d never have children and that I’d have
problems the rest of my life. Well, here
I am, 3 beautiful (birth) children later. The more I think about it, the more I
despise doctors, the medical field and the FDA. Before you get all crazy on me, hear me out. I get it, doctors are
necessary, they save lives and can treat some illness. They repair broken bones
and often go above and beyond to help their patients. Keep in mind, I am
currently still under the care of several doctors. I am very grateful for SO
MANY doctors throughout the years who have performed surgery on my husband, my
children and me for broken bones, tumors, gall bladders… the list goes on and
on! I am grateful for the doctors/therapists who helped me through a time of grief
after my father passed away and for the ones who believed in me that I could
one day be healthy again. I’m also very
upset with some doctors who took extreme measures and jumped into surgery when
there were alternate options (and no one will convince me that this wasn’t due
to having great insurance). If I only
knew then what I know now… J
Where
am I today…
I’ve maintained my weight loss over the past 3
months. The scale will fluctuate a pound, or three, every few days but I’ve not
lost any significate amount in a couple of months. This is actually good! I’ve lost a total of 90 pounds. My body has also
caught up with the weight loss so although I haven’t been losing weight, I was
still losing inches. I am completely comfortable with where I am in my progress.
I’d honestly be content if I didn’t lose another pound. Just the fact that I
can go outside and play ball with my son, run (jog) a few miles or go up 3
flights of stairs without DYING, I am happy with where I am. I don’t have a
specific goal to reach when it comes to my weight, my goal was simply to feel
better, have more energy and feel comfortable in my own skin again. And, I do!
I’ve gained back some confidence and feel comfortable leaving the house again.
Being overweight for the past five years changed
my identity. I hid behind my kids in pictures (and now realize how stupid I
look in all of them, hiding behind a kid… as if people really couldn’t see how
large I was) and didn’t like social settings unless I was in my own home. Prior to being overweight I LOVED going out
with friends, traveling, going out to eat and taking the kids anywhere they
wanted to go (within reason of course).
I have also always loved being home; I just love the comfort of my own
home, having friends over for BBQs, Crawfish Boils, Chili cook-offs, or to
simply hang out while the children play.
However, when I got to the point of not wanting to leave the house, because
of my insecurities of constantly feeling judged I became a prisoner in my own
home. It’s not fun. It causes unnecessary anxiety and additional health
problems. I know I don’t need the world’s approval of my appearance and I know
I don’t need validation from any human. I know who I get my validation from! Have
I always? NO! Am I proud of that? Absolutely Not! I am growing in my relationship with Him just
like the next person. I could go down a deep rabbit hole here... Let's leave it with my new favorite saying... Don’t let your circumstance dictate your future!
If you are suffering with your appearance
and/or weight, please reach out to me. I can’t wave a magic wand and fix
anything but I will certainly listen, encourage and be a friend who you can
confide in.
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