Sending Him Off To College

Today, we moved Jayden, our only son, into his dorm at University of Houston (UH).

It’s a very different time for this new chapter in his life, and in ours. This experience will forever change his life, and mine. I mean, who is going to eat our leftovers and who is going to take out the trash? 🤨🤔😂

Because of all the uncertainties with COVID, we didn’t know if they’d actually be opening campus or not and so we really procrastinated on buying things. Last weekend we finally started to purchase some items he needed and it all finally started to set in. As the pile grew, the more realistic it became. We ordered his architecture supplies (500 friggen dollars worth) and picked up all the necessities. 

Each time we talked about him leaving for college, Taryn would get so sad. These two are close, they've always been sidekicks. As I comfort her, and she comforts me without even knowing, I ask myself, have I prepared him for being away? Have I done enough? Taught him enough? Prayed enough? Listened enough? 

UH would only allow two people to move him in and so Jayden had to say his goodbyes to Taryn and a Lauren (his girlfriend) this morning. It was tough as expected. Even though he's only down the road (45 minutes no traffic), it's still hard. It's going to be an adjustment for Taryn to be the only kiddo at home.

Jeff rode with Jayden and I drove separately. I held strong until I turned my music on. There were a couple of songs that I listened to daily, when we were walking through a hard time, and one of these songs came on. I completely lost it. I had a good cry for about 5 minutes and then I was good once again. You know, God knows!  He knows when to play the songs you need to hear.  He knew I needed to hear this particular song as it always gives me so much reassurance. 

We got to campus a little before 9 am, unloaded the cars into 2 big blue bins, and checked in. It was all so simple. It was also, so very empty. We didn’t see any other students or parents, just a handful of volunteers who checked us in and guided us on where to go. 

We found his room and got everything unpacked and settled. He doesn’t have a roommate and only has one suite mate, who hasn’t moved in yet. The downside of no roommates is that there isn’t an immediate connection and “friend”. Hopefully the suite mate moves in soon! 

We only had a two hour window, to unload and get him settled, and it was just enough time to get it all done. I was starting to feel a pit in my stomach, I didn’t really want to say goodbye but it was time. And then he said “well, I guess I’ll just come back home for a while”. Although I was ok with this, I really wanted him to meet people and walk around campus to find where everything is. You know, food, library, food, oh, did I mention food?! The thing is, there are not many people on campus, it was practically a ghost town. I could hear some people talking in the room across from him but didn’t see anyone. It was quite odd. I wasn’t expecting hundreds of people, as I knew they staggered the move-in days, but I thought we’d see someone!

He walked us to our car and even got in his car to come home for the afternoon when I decided to encourage him to find the cafeteria in hopes of meeting someone there. I also knew that Taryn will have a difficult time saying goodbye again so I want to avoid that if possible. That said, I also don’t want him sitting in his dorm room alone so would rather he’s home than there alone. Plus, we forgot the tv, and since there are no activities on campus, he’d really be bored in his room (although that’s not a bad thing sometimes). 

He decided to stay and so we got out of our cars and gave him a big hug and said our goodbyes (knowing we’ll likely see him later, or tomorrow, or this weekend).

As Jeff drove away, I took a deep breath and I knew I was going to be ok but more importantly, I know Jayden is going to be ok too. 

We have been preparing him for this moment for 19 years. We have raised him up in the way we want him to go, we’ve taught him right from wrong and although he’s like every human and makes mistakes he’s one of the best kids I know. We have done our best to instill in him the principles we believe to be truth. Have we always been perfect? Nope. Has he made mistakes and departed from our teaching? Yep. Each time we have picked up from where we fell and we have moved forward with God leading our path.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5

Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. 

18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:17-18

A Letter to My Son Before He Goes to College

As we are just a few days away from taking you to college, I wanted to share my heart with you. 

Where have the years gone?? A bittersweet day for sure. For the past 19 years, it’s been my job to protect you. The time has come… A brand new chapter in your life, a new experience for you. I’m going to miss you, a lot, but I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for you. You are going to have an incredible year at UH.  You’ll experience new things and meet new friends who will become your lifelong friends. You’ll have times of joy and laughter and times of sadness and sorrow. Through each experience; the good, the bad and the ugly, remember to praise Him. Praise HIM!! Praise Him through each happy moment and through each storm. He will guide your path and He will always be with you.

As I drive away and you feel the sense of independence, there is something I want you to remember. As my only son, and a great one at that, I am so proud of the person you are. Independence is a great thing but it can also be scary. Be careful. Guard your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. Don’t be afraid to call and ask us for guidance. Always remember the principles we’ve instilled in you. Make good choices.  Learn from your mistakes. Study hard. Have fun! 

When you miss me, and I know you will, call me! Text me!  FaceTime me! Seriously, anytime of the day or night, if you need anything please do NOT hesitate to reach out to us. You are never too grown or too old to need your Mom. Yes, I said it. Mom. M-O-M, Mom.

You are an incredibly strong and smart young man with a big heart. You are a blessing to me, our family, and so many others. I Love You Jayden!

Overwhelmed but Grateful

I don’t give this guy enough credit… Just as I type this, I have tears in my eyes because this man loves me more than I deserve to be loved. It’s been an emotional couple of weeks, gearing up for the girls to leave, the anticipation of Jayden heading off to college and entering the real world and then just the of three of us left here at the house.

Last night, Jeff asked me if I was feeling depressed. My answer to that was a solid NO. I don’t feel depressed and although I’m sad from time to time, I’m really just overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the uncertainties of Covid, the constant changes and just the unknowns of school and our future is overwhelming for me. It really makes me so sad to see everyone in masks... is this what our future is going to look like?  I’m overwhelmed with a million little things, some of which are completely irrelevant, but others that are heavy and they consume my thoughts (health, racial divide, home improvements, do we sell, do we stay, finances, should I look for a new job during this time, peer pressure on the kids, awareness of sex trafficking, my business, my family, I miss my Mom, do we buy school clothes or more pajamas, the list goes on and on). 

Today, I had a dentist appointment to get a tiny little filling. If you know anything about me you know I’m terrified of the dentist. I previously had to use the gas mask just to get my teeth cleaned. Thankfully, with the help of my essential oils, I was able to stop using the gas mask during cleanings and instead I oil up before I arrive to my appointment. When I made this appointment to get my filling, I had full intentions of using the gas mask. My appointment had to be scheduled for a longer amount of time in order to use the gas mask and so I was certain I’d use it. Well, last night I decided I wasn’t going to. I’m not so sure where this came from but it was pretty heavy on my heart not to use the gas mask. I was nervous and I thought about calling to cancel the appointment 317 times today but I made a decision and I was going to stick to it. I oiled up before I left the house. On my way to the appointment, I spoke with one of my friends who encouraged me and I knew I was making the right decision. I got to the dentist office and as I sat in my car, I look up and there stood my handsome husband with a beautiful card in his hand. He knew how terrified I was to go into this appointment today and although that sounds ridiculous, because I’m 41 years old and shouldn’t be scared of the dentist, it’s real anxiety. I didn’t open the card as I knew I’d get get emotional and I really felt prepared to walk in there and tell them I changed my mind and would not need the gas mask. I was in and out of the office in about 40 minutes and I’m proud to say that I did not need the gas mask. I held my little bottle of essential oil in my hand, and when I needed it I took a little sniff (only one time). Y’all, this is huge!! 

I got home just in time to say goodbye to Kiarra, she has been here for the last couple of days to take a second load of her things back to school. She left and I went back into my office and started working again. Jeff finished up a conference call and left the house and came back with a Starbucks drink for me. Y’all, it’s not even that big of a deal… it’s a card and a drink, but it really is the little things that matter so much. ☺️❤️

Taryn returns home today (she’s been glamping at the lake all week) and one week from today, Jayden leaves.

Just knowing this great man is by my side, holding my hand and wiping my tears when they fall, makes my heart pitter patter. 🥰❤️🥰  But more importantly, knowing we serve a BIG BIG God who has much bigger plans for our life, who takes away our fears and anxieties, and gives us hope for our future, is the only reassurance we ever need. When we start to feel overwhelmed, we really can turn to him, we can seek his face anytime, anyplace and he will be there, arms wide open.

From six to three

What an incredible 7 weeks weeks we’ve had with all 4 kids under one roof. 

It’s been 8 years since Tamia has been with us for more than just a day or 2 at a time. With the pandemic and quarantine, not much is open and there’s really not anything to do so we’ve spent a lot of time at home, cooking, playing games, having baking contests, tie-dying, hanging out at the pool, watching movies and watching way too much Netflix. Most recently we’ve been doing prank wars. The kids pull pranks on each other and on their Dad. And then he has been getting them right back. I just sit back and watch (I’m not so secretly scared to death of whatever prank they may do to me). They already know they’ll die if they try to do anything with mayo so don’t even suggest it!! 

Over the next two weeks, our full house of 6 will be reduced to just the 3 of us. The girls leave over the next 2 days and Jayden will leave in 2 weeks. It’s going to be so strange for everything to be so quiet. I’m going to miss Kiarra making so much noise in the kitchen, just trying to do the smallest task like getting a cup of coffee. The more quiet she tries to be, the louder she is. It’s now a running joke in our home, we all know when Kiarra is awake. She has one semester left at the Bible college she attends and then she’ll transfer to DBU full time. Tamia has the sweetest spirit. It’s been so great reconnecting with her and seeing the bond that the 4 kids have. She has the kindest heart and the best laugh. We’ve reminisced some fun times. She is going into her last year of college and will soon be a high school math teacher. 

In June we went to Iowa to see the family and had a small graduation party for Jayden. It’s the first time we’ve taken a road trip and driven two cars. Typically we rent a suburban (and used to drive our own before downsizing) but taking two cars anywhere is our new normal. There were 7 of us and so renting a suburban wasn’t going to be comfortable.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t recommend taking two cars on a long road trip.  It took longer, waiting on them to catch up to us, or having to drive slower because they’d get cut off. Getting gas and quick bio breaks even took longer. Plus, it’s not as fun to annoy Jeff by myself on road trips, I need my sidekicks helping me out with that.

It was also the first time in 8 years that Tamia has been to Iowa. So many changes and new family members since she’s been there. It was so great to see everyone. She was also with us for Fathers Day, Jaydens birthday and his graduation (which were all three in the same day), the 4th of July and her birthday!  It’s a summer I’ll never forget (definitely a year no one will likely ever forget). 

Oh yea, speaking of cars, with Taryn being the only one that can’t drive, and each of us having our own car, it’ll also be so weird to only have two cars at the house after they all leave. No more car shuffle each night based on who is going somewhere the next morning. No more moving 5 cars to workout in the garage. No more driving someone else’s car because ours is blocked in. Just the two remain. One day last week it hit me that I won’t have anyone to run quick errands for me. Right now, if it’s the middle of the day and I want Starbucks, I sent one of the kids with my debit card. If I’m in the middle of cooking and realize I’m out of an ingredient, I send one of the kids to the store. If Taryn needs to be picked up or dropped off from anywhere...... yep, I usually send one of the kids. 

 

It’s also going to be very strange to transition into cooking for only 3 of us. Right now there is almost always 6 of us, sometime 7 but that’s dropping to 3. Whoa, my grocery bill will drop too. Hallelujah!  Seriously though, I’d rather continue spending $$$ a week on groceries and have them all safe at home than only cook for 3. I really love them here and we have so much fun, plus I enjoy cooking. 

What a unique time we are all moving into. 

My heart goes out to all the kiddos going off to college for the first time. It’s certainly not going to be the first year experience they had all hoped for and thought it would be. Most of their classes will be online. I worry about the mental health of all kids stuck in rooms for days at a time. Jayden will have one in-person class each day so it’s good he’ll be getting out daily but all other classes will be online for the foreseeable future. Now that he doesn’t know who his roommates will be, I’m praying he gets a good one. 

I will admit that this entire transition is going to be tough. It kinda feels like I’m sending 3 kids off to college at one time. They’ve all been home so long now that we have our normal daily routines and habits.  I’m not in the fetal position bawling my eyes out that they are all leaving. Am I sad? Yes, I am sad and I’ll be sad, but I’m good for the most part. I think I’m more frustrated that the world is in the state that it’s in and that everything is just so weird. So many uncertainties and unnecessary anxiety with the future.... but God. 

Although it wasn’t the summer we planned, our 3 weeks trip to Europe was cancelled, Gods timing is always perfect. If we were not in the midst of the pandemic, these 7 weeks with the 4 kids wouldn’t have happened. This time is precious and I cherish it. The bond we all have is one I don’t ever want to take for granted but will continue to thank our mighty God for. 

If nothing else in our world in constant, one thing is. God. Through all of this, He remains full of hope and promise, full of guidance, wiping away our tears and our fears. Going into this new chapter, I will continue to turn to him. 

Until next time...