Sending Him Off To College

Today, we moved Jayden, our only son, into his dorm at University of Houston (UH).

It’s a very different time for this new chapter in his life, and in ours. This experience will forever change his life, and mine. I mean, who is going to eat our leftovers and who is going to take out the trash? 🤨🤔😂

Because of all the uncertainties with COVID, we didn’t know if they’d actually be opening campus or not and so we really procrastinated on buying things. Last weekend we finally started to purchase some items he needed and it all finally started to set in. As the pile grew, the more realistic it became. We ordered his architecture supplies (500 friggen dollars worth) and picked up all the necessities. 

Each time we talked about him leaving for college, Taryn would get so sad. These two are close, they've always been sidekicks. As I comfort her, and she comforts me without even knowing, I ask myself, have I prepared him for being away? Have I done enough? Taught him enough? Prayed enough? Listened enough? 

UH would only allow two people to move him in and so Jayden had to say his goodbyes to Taryn and a Lauren (his girlfriend) this morning. It was tough as expected. Even though he's only down the road (45 minutes no traffic), it's still hard. It's going to be an adjustment for Taryn to be the only kiddo at home.

Jeff rode with Jayden and I drove separately. I held strong until I turned my music on. There were a couple of songs that I listened to daily, when we were walking through a hard time, and one of these songs came on. I completely lost it. I had a good cry for about 5 minutes and then I was good once again. You know, God knows!  He knows when to play the songs you need to hear.  He knew I needed to hear this particular song as it always gives me so much reassurance. 

We got to campus a little before 9 am, unloaded the cars into 2 big blue bins, and checked in. It was all so simple. It was also, so very empty. We didn’t see any other students or parents, just a handful of volunteers who checked us in and guided us on where to go. 

We found his room and got everything unpacked and settled. He doesn’t have a roommate and only has one suite mate, who hasn’t moved in yet. The downside of no roommates is that there isn’t an immediate connection and “friend”. Hopefully the suite mate moves in soon! 

We only had a two hour window, to unload and get him settled, and it was just enough time to get it all done. I was starting to feel a pit in my stomach, I didn’t really want to say goodbye but it was time. And then he said “well, I guess I’ll just come back home for a while”. Although I was ok with this, I really wanted him to meet people and walk around campus to find where everything is. You know, food, library, food, oh, did I mention food?! The thing is, there are not many people on campus, it was practically a ghost town. I could hear some people talking in the room across from him but didn’t see anyone. It was quite odd. I wasn’t expecting hundreds of people, as I knew they staggered the move-in days, but I thought we’d see someone!

He walked us to our car and even got in his car to come home for the afternoon when I decided to encourage him to find the cafeteria in hopes of meeting someone there. I also knew that Taryn will have a difficult time saying goodbye again so I want to avoid that if possible. That said, I also don’t want him sitting in his dorm room alone so would rather he’s home than there alone. Plus, we forgot the tv, and since there are no activities on campus, he’d really be bored in his room (although that’s not a bad thing sometimes). 

He decided to stay and so we got out of our cars and gave him a big hug and said our goodbyes (knowing we’ll likely see him later, or tomorrow, or this weekend).

As Jeff drove away, I took a deep breath and I knew I was going to be ok but more importantly, I know Jayden is going to be ok too. 

We have been preparing him for this moment for 19 years. We have raised him up in the way we want him to go, we’ve taught him right from wrong and although he’s like every human and makes mistakes he’s one of the best kids I know. We have done our best to instill in him the principles we believe to be truth. Have we always been perfect? Nope. Has he made mistakes and departed from our teaching? Yep. Each time we have picked up from where we fell and we have moved forward with God leading our path.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5

Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. 

18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:17-18

A Letter to My Son Before He Goes to College

As we are just a few days away from taking you to college, I wanted to share my heart with you. 

Where have the years gone?? A bittersweet day for sure. For the past 19 years, it’s been my job to protect you. The time has come… A brand new chapter in your life, a new experience for you. I’m going to miss you, a lot, but I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for you. You are going to have an incredible year at UH.  You’ll experience new things and meet new friends who will become your lifelong friends. You’ll have times of joy and laughter and times of sadness and sorrow. Through each experience; the good, the bad and the ugly, remember to praise Him. Praise HIM!! Praise Him through each happy moment and through each storm. He will guide your path and He will always be with you.

As I drive away and you feel the sense of independence, there is something I want you to remember. As my only son, and a great one at that, I am so proud of the person you are. Independence is a great thing but it can also be scary. Be careful. Guard your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. Don’t be afraid to call and ask us for guidance. Always remember the principles we’ve instilled in you. Make good choices.  Learn from your mistakes. Study hard. Have fun! 

When you miss me, and I know you will, call me! Text me!  FaceTime me! Seriously, anytime of the day or night, if you need anything please do NOT hesitate to reach out to us. You are never too grown or too old to need your Mom. Yes, I said it. Mom. M-O-M, Mom.

You are an incredibly strong and smart young man with a big heart. You are a blessing to me, our family, and so many others. I Love You Jayden!

Overwhelmed but Grateful

I don’t give this guy enough credit… Just as I type this, I have tears in my eyes because this man loves me more than I deserve to be loved. It’s been an emotional couple of weeks, gearing up for the girls to leave, the anticipation of Jayden heading off to college and entering the real world and then just the of three of us left here at the house.

Last night, Jeff asked me if I was feeling depressed. My answer to that was a solid NO. I don’t feel depressed and although I’m sad from time to time, I’m really just overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the uncertainties of Covid, the constant changes and just the unknowns of school and our future is overwhelming for me. It really makes me so sad to see everyone in masks... is this what our future is going to look like?  I’m overwhelmed with a million little things, some of which are completely irrelevant, but others that are heavy and they consume my thoughts (health, racial divide, home improvements, do we sell, do we stay, finances, should I look for a new job during this time, peer pressure on the kids, awareness of sex trafficking, my business, my family, I miss my Mom, do we buy school clothes or more pajamas, the list goes on and on). 

Today, I had a dentist appointment to get a tiny little filling. If you know anything about me you know I’m terrified of the dentist. I previously had to use the gas mask just to get my teeth cleaned. Thankfully, with the help of my essential oils, I was able to stop using the gas mask during cleanings and instead I oil up before I arrive to my appointment. When I made this appointment to get my filling, I had full intentions of using the gas mask. My appointment had to be scheduled for a longer amount of time in order to use the gas mask and so I was certain I’d use it. Well, last night I decided I wasn’t going to. I’m not so sure where this came from but it was pretty heavy on my heart not to use the gas mask. I was nervous and I thought about calling to cancel the appointment 317 times today but I made a decision and I was going to stick to it. I oiled up before I left the house. On my way to the appointment, I spoke with one of my friends who encouraged me and I knew I was making the right decision. I got to the dentist office and as I sat in my car, I look up and there stood my handsome husband with a beautiful card in his hand. He knew how terrified I was to go into this appointment today and although that sounds ridiculous, because I’m 41 years old and shouldn’t be scared of the dentist, it’s real anxiety. I didn’t open the card as I knew I’d get get emotional and I really felt prepared to walk in there and tell them I changed my mind and would not need the gas mask. I was in and out of the office in about 40 minutes and I’m proud to say that I did not need the gas mask. I held my little bottle of essential oil in my hand, and when I needed it I took a little sniff (only one time). Y’all, this is huge!! 

I got home just in time to say goodbye to Kiarra, she has been here for the last couple of days to take a second load of her things back to school. She left and I went back into my office and started working again. Jeff finished up a conference call and left the house and came back with a Starbucks drink for me. Y’all, it’s not even that big of a deal… it’s a card and a drink, but it really is the little things that matter so much. ☺️❤️

Taryn returns home today (she’s been glamping at the lake all week) and one week from today, Jayden leaves.

Just knowing this great man is by my side, holding my hand and wiping my tears when they fall, makes my heart pitter patter. 🥰❤️🥰  But more importantly, knowing we serve a BIG BIG God who has much bigger plans for our life, who takes away our fears and anxieties, and gives us hope for our future, is the only reassurance we ever need. When we start to feel overwhelmed, we really can turn to him, we can seek his face anytime, anyplace and he will be there, arms wide open.

From six to three

What an incredible 7 weeks weeks we’ve had with all 4 kids under one roof. 

It’s been 8 years since Tamia has been with us for more than just a day or 2 at a time. With the pandemic and quarantine, not much is open and there’s really not anything to do so we’ve spent a lot of time at home, cooking, playing games, having baking contests, tie-dying, hanging out at the pool, watching movies and watching way too much Netflix. Most recently we’ve been doing prank wars. The kids pull pranks on each other and on their Dad. And then he has been getting them right back. I just sit back and watch (I’m not so secretly scared to death of whatever prank they may do to me). They already know they’ll die if they try to do anything with mayo so don’t even suggest it!! 

Over the next two weeks, our full house of 6 will be reduced to just the 3 of us. The girls leave over the next 2 days and Jayden will leave in 2 weeks. It’s going to be so strange for everything to be so quiet. I’m going to miss Kiarra making so much noise in the kitchen, just trying to do the smallest task like getting a cup of coffee. The more quiet she tries to be, the louder she is. It’s now a running joke in our home, we all know when Kiarra is awake. She has one semester left at the Bible college she attends and then she’ll transfer to DBU full time. Tamia has the sweetest spirit. It’s been so great reconnecting with her and seeing the bond that the 4 kids have. She has the kindest heart and the best laugh. We’ve reminisced some fun times. She is going into her last year of college and will soon be a high school math teacher. 

In June we went to Iowa to see the family and had a small graduation party for Jayden. It’s the first time we’ve taken a road trip and driven two cars. Typically we rent a suburban (and used to drive our own before downsizing) but taking two cars anywhere is our new normal. There were 7 of us and so renting a suburban wasn’t going to be comfortable.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t recommend taking two cars on a long road trip.  It took longer, waiting on them to catch up to us, or having to drive slower because they’d get cut off. Getting gas and quick bio breaks even took longer. Plus, it’s not as fun to annoy Jeff by myself on road trips, I need my sidekicks helping me out with that.

It was also the first time in 8 years that Tamia has been to Iowa. So many changes and new family members since she’s been there. It was so great to see everyone. She was also with us for Fathers Day, Jaydens birthday and his graduation (which were all three in the same day), the 4th of July and her birthday!  It’s a summer I’ll never forget (definitely a year no one will likely ever forget). 

Oh yea, speaking of cars, with Taryn being the only one that can’t drive, and each of us having our own car, it’ll also be so weird to only have two cars at the house after they all leave. No more car shuffle each night based on who is going somewhere the next morning. No more moving 5 cars to workout in the garage. No more driving someone else’s car because ours is blocked in. Just the two remain. One day last week it hit me that I won’t have anyone to run quick errands for me. Right now, if it’s the middle of the day and I want Starbucks, I sent one of the kids with my debit card. If I’m in the middle of cooking and realize I’m out of an ingredient, I send one of the kids to the store. If Taryn needs to be picked up or dropped off from anywhere...... yep, I usually send one of the kids. 

 

It’s also going to be very strange to transition into cooking for only 3 of us. Right now there is almost always 6 of us, sometime 7 but that’s dropping to 3. Whoa, my grocery bill will drop too. Hallelujah!  Seriously though, I’d rather continue spending $$$ a week on groceries and have them all safe at home than only cook for 3. I really love them here and we have so much fun, plus I enjoy cooking. 

What a unique time we are all moving into. 

My heart goes out to all the kiddos going off to college for the first time. It’s certainly not going to be the first year experience they had all hoped for and thought it would be. Most of their classes will be online. I worry about the mental health of all kids stuck in rooms for days at a time. Jayden will have one in-person class each day so it’s good he’ll be getting out daily but all other classes will be online for the foreseeable future. Now that he doesn’t know who his roommates will be, I’m praying he gets a good one. 

I will admit that this entire transition is going to be tough. It kinda feels like I’m sending 3 kids off to college at one time. They’ve all been home so long now that we have our normal daily routines and habits.  I’m not in the fetal position bawling my eyes out that they are all leaving. Am I sad? Yes, I am sad and I’ll be sad, but I’m good for the most part. I think I’m more frustrated that the world is in the state that it’s in and that everything is just so weird. So many uncertainties and unnecessary anxiety with the future.... but God. 

Although it wasn’t the summer we planned, our 3 weeks trip to Europe was cancelled, Gods timing is always perfect. If we were not in the midst of the pandemic, these 7 weeks with the 4 kids wouldn’t have happened. This time is precious and I cherish it. The bond we all have is one I don’t ever want to take for granted but will continue to thank our mighty God for. 

If nothing else in our world in constant, one thing is. God. Through all of this, He remains full of hope and promise, full of guidance, wiping away our tears and our fears. Going into this new chapter, I will continue to turn to him. 

Until next time...

I can’t stay silent, I won’t

To my white friends and family, maybe I can help you understand something that’s taken me years to understand. As you are my friend on this platform I’m asking you, as my friend, to read this in it’s entirety and keep an open mind. Don’t be quick to think “this doesn’t apply to me”. 

WHITE PRIVILEGE 

I haven’t always understood this term. My husband tried to explain it but I just didn’t understand, I became offended and we had to “agree to disagree” at that time (years ago). 

I thought that because I grew up in a broken home, got groceries with food stamps and was on the free lunch program at school, that I wasn’t privileged at all. 

When I heard “white privilege” I thought of Beverly Hills, CEOs and celebrities. I thought it applied to super wealthy white people who can do whatever they want, buy whatever they want, fancy cars, big houses, buy themselves out of trouble, etc. I didn’t understand that it applied to me. 

It has always applied to me and if your skin is like mine, it applies to you too. 

White privilege doesn’t mean you’ve never had to struggle. It doesn’t mean you’ve had it easy or that you’re not currently struggling.

White privilege is a built in advantage that doesn’t have anything to do with our income, education or effort. We have greater access to power and resources than those of color. 

White privilege is not something we asked for and it’s not something we can control by ourselves. Now that I understand it, I can speak up and bring awareness and I’m hoping you can understand it now as well. 

I’ve done my best to teach my children to love and respect everyone. But that’s not enough, we must do more. 

You are privileged whether you want to admit it or not. Think about this... 

I can leave my house anytime of day or night and no one cares.

I can walk in my neighborhood  with a hoodie on and no one looks twice. No one says “oh there’s that thug white girl with a hoodie, we better watch her”.  NO ONE LOOKS TWICE. This is not the case for my husband and son. 

I can go to a store and walk around the entire store without one person watching and following me. My husband and son cannot. 

I can get pulled over by police (and I have many times... sorry, I like to drive fast) and not one time have I felt afraid of them. This is not the case for my husband and son. Typically, I sweet talk my way out of the ticket and leave with a warning. My husband has gotten a ticket every-single-time. Maybe he’s not as sweet of a talker as me. Or maybe it’s because he’s Black. 

That is just a small snippet of white privilege. 

BLACK LIVES MATTER

Please do not stop reading here. This is not saying “only” black lives matter. If you are still saying and hash tagging “all lives matter” you are missing the point. In the grand scheme of things, yes of course everyone matters but that is not the point. Think of this. If Taryn, my 13 year old, cuts her leg and we rush her to the hospital we will expect the doctors to take care of her. We don’t need them to stitch up Jeff or Jayden or anyone else who is with us because nothing is wrong with them. They are not cut, they are not in pain and they are not bleeding. We need the doctors to tend to her because SHE IS IN PAIN, AND SHE IS BLEEDING.

Do you understand now? Is that explanation elementary enough for you? 

Black lives matter because they are hurting. They are bleeding. They have endured years of discrimination from us and the BLM movement is to open our eyes to this. It’s not saying their lives matter more than ours, they want to matter and be equal. Be treated with dignity and respect. 

I truly hope that none of you, my friends on this platform, are racist. When I first started dating Jeff, some of my family members were not initially supportive. Small town white girl moves to Houston and falls in love with a black guy. They were not rude, they were cautious and protective. As soon as they met him, they quickly realized that he’s a nice person and they began to see him the way I see him. Well, not quite exactly the same, but they loved him because he treated me good and they accepted him.  There were however a few family members who didn’t accept him. One asked us not to return to their place of business because “it was bad for business”. I was super close to this person. I went there every time I was with my Dad growing up and through high school. It hurt my heart, it still hurts. I know I will never fully understand how this hurts Jeffs heart. I only see a glimpse of what my husband has dealt with his whole life, and that glimpse tears my heart apart, I can’t even fathom the pain from living it every day. 

If you claim to not see color, what do you see?? You should see color. We are not all the same and we are not all treated equal. By saying you don’t see color is offensive and turning a blind eye. You should see the beautiful skin they were blessed with. God created them, just as he created you and I and you should see this. You should open your eyes and see that they are treated very different from you and I. See the color. Embrace the cultural differences.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. I ask that you think about yourself, your loved ones and mine.

My brother has been a state trooper for over 20 years and we have dear friends who are police officers. I know there are WAY MORE good cops than bad cops. Nothing about my message above is intended to bring any discussion at all about police officers. We love them and we need them. And I love and need my husband and son. This issue is SO much greater than the police brutality we’ve seen in the news. It starts with you. Even if you love all and are not racist, it still starts with you. You can share posts to raise awareness to your friends who may be racist or bias. You can take a stand and speak up for those who don’t have a voice. Don’t be silent. Don’t turn a blind eye.

And last but certainly not least, we need to pray. When I pray in these situations, I pray not only for the family and loved ones of the victim(s) who lost someone very special to them, but that these situations won’t happen again. Just because we pray for things not to happen, it doesn’t mean they won’t. We all have free will to do as we choose.  We either choose to love and not judge/hate someone based on their skin color or we choose to hate them. We either teach our kids to hate based on this or we teach them to love all. This is taught, no one is born hating someone. I pray for unity and that the damage from generations and generations of racism/discrimination/hate that’s been instilled into so many will have their eyes opened and they will begin to love all and not discriminate based on the color of someone’s skin, or their religion, or lifestyle.

Spread love not hate. 

Graduation should be today....

Today, Jayden should be walking across the stage at the Merrill Center to receive his high school diploma. We should be exhausted from yesterday’s party and so excited for today, our only son graduating high school. For now, graduation has been rescheduled to June 21 (Jayden’s birthday) and we will celebrate him!

We wanted to make today special and so I sent Jayden and Taryn on a mission this morning and while he was gone, Kiarra and I decorated the dining room, snuck Lauren (his gf) in and cooked one of his favorite meals and desserts.

What a senior year this kid has had. It started with an incredibly successful football season and ended with school being online, and all events since spring break being cancelled. During football, he injured his thumb in one of the very first scrimmages of the season. He continued to play with it injured, knowing we’d see the Orthopedic at the end of the season. The team did so well, the season didn’t end until the weekend of Thanksgiving when we unfortunately lost in the third round of playoffs, while playing at NRG (where the TEXANS play). Although we didn’t win, it was an incredible experience and overall great season.

We saw the orthopedic soon after the season ended. The MRI results indicated that he had two torn ligaments and his volar plate was out of place, an injury that the orthopedic had never seen before. This specific orthopedic is a hand specialist with over 15 years of experience and he has never seen an injury to both sides of the thumb in this way. He said that it is always either one side, or the other, but never both. Surgery was scheduled for the end of December and it was successful. They had to take 3 pieces of a tendon from Jaydens wrist to reconstruct the ligaments in the thumb. Fun fact: some men have an extra tendon in their wrist that can be used for things like this. Did you know that?

Because of this injury, he wasn’t able to play basketball his senior year. This wasn’t a huge disappointment, as it was anticipated since his injury that he likely wouldn’t be able to play. I didn’t realize that the last basketball game last year would be the last time I’d see him on the court with his teammates. He also didn’t get to run track as he was still recovering and in a cast.

Alright... here is where I get all mushy.  I cannot believe Jayden is graduating from high school.  He was just a freshman when Kiarra graduated and it doesn't seem possible that her graduation was already 3 years ago. I know, it’s so cliché to say “time flies… they grow up so fast” blah blah blah but they do! I remember walking my polite and handsome little boy into his first day of Kindergarten. He was so brave and so excited to finally go to the same school as Kiarra.  He had the same Kinder teacher as her and so I knew he was in really good hands. It seems like that was just a few weeks ago and here we are, ready to graduate high school. We moved the summer before Jayden went into 5^th grade, his last year of elementary school. He adapted so well and met new friends quickly, guys who are still his best friends today. The years flew by, some friends came and went. He encountered some really difficult times but has come through stronger knowing who his real friends and mentors are.

When Kiarra graduated from high school, the calendar that lead up to that moment was insane. Every night for weeks there was something going on. In a weird way, I was looking forward to  Jayden having the same crazy schedule. I had been anticipating this for months and was ready to be crazy busy! The award ceremonies, ring ceremonies, Mr Falcon, the fashion show that he was asked to be a model in, the senior prank, senior skip day, National Honor Society ceremony, etc. all cancelled because of COVID-19. Thankfully, prom and graduation have been rescheduled but we don’t know if they will ever actually happen.

Although all these exciting events have cancelled, I’ve cherished the extra time I’ve had with Jayden and the other kids during this time. It’s a unique time and experience that we’ve done our best to make the best of. My favorite night thus far is when Jayden was our Hibachi chef and cooked chicken and fried rice for us hibachi style ( short video here). He spent hours preparing for this night. He served us drinks, flipped an egg into his hat, tossed us each a piece of chicken and performed a few tricks with the cooking utensils. The entire night was so fun. Full video here. 

If you know Jayden, you know he’s not only smart, athletic, a hard worker and always up for a mission but he’s also so witty and hilarious. This side of him doesn’t always come out but when it does, he’s so funny. He has the best one-liners and comebacks. He is the best son, better than I ever could have imagined and he’s such a great brother to his sisters. He’s the first to jump up and lend a helping hand and always, always first in line for food, but then he’s a gentleman and let’s us girls go first.

Jayden will be attending University of Houston this fall. He was accepted into the Architecture program. It’s all he’s ever wanted to do. From the time he was a little boy, building with legos and blocks, he always talked about designing big buildings. One day, we’ll be able to walk into a building that he has carefully designed, developed the concept for the structure and where he’s turned those concepts into beautiful images and plans. He’ll have worked closely with clients and construction teams to turn is design into reality.

I’m so proud of this young man!  He embodies the character that we prayed for and has been a great son. He hasn’t been perfect, Lord knows we’ve had our moments, but he’s been pretty incredible. The hard times have not only brought us all closer together as a family, but they’ve strengthened our relationship with the Lord. I’m so grateful that I get to be his Mom!

Journey to Health, Volume VII

  

2019 started out rocky after I was hospitalized for Sepsis at the end of January. You can read about that journey here if you’d like. Recovery from that has taken most of the year. They gave me an incredible amount of antibiotics that wiped out my immune system which then resulted in me being ill a few times this past year. I mostly feel like myself but am still worried about getting another infection and having to go through all that again. I feel great most of the time but the first 6-8 months were rough. In December I had a scope of my bladder (OUCHHH), and they confirmed everything looked great and that I definitely didn’t have bladder cancer.

I took time in 2019 to organize my home. I did an overhaul of my closet (check out the before and after videos that I posted) and pantry (sorry, I forgot to take a before pic)! It was two full days that were very well spent and each time I go into either of them, I’m no longer frustrated but smile from ear to ear that they are organized. Everything is easy to find once again! The pantry still needs some work (just too much stuff that I can’t get rid of, like 7 crock pots) but I love the containers I purchased to organize everything. This is part of my Journey to Health because stress affects health. If something is stressful, I try to remove it from my life. There are things we simply can’t remove, but if something like a cluttered closet is stressing you out every time you walk into and it you want to light a match and burn the place down because of it, I suggest doing something about it.

Speaking of stress, March and April of last year were tough. I struggled mentally. I had thoughts of ending my life and one day it got to be too much. I know I will never, ever, end my life but that doesn’t stop the thoughts. They don’t magically just go away because a decision is made to never take the action on those thoughts.  Making that decision doesn’t stop the enemy from coming in and attacking me and my family with vengeance. I spoke to Jeff about it and asked those close to me to pray. I began to read up on mental health and how I could combat it with essential oils. I had everything in my arsenal that I needed, or so I thought. I began using them more regularly and consistently which immediately helped. I thought I was good until I realized I could be great. In September, doTERRA launched a new product that has given me a whole new perspective on life. As soon as I received my new oils and capsules, I started taking them immediately and what a difference they made. People close to me recognized the difference not even knowing I was doing/taking something different.

Did you know that 2019 was the worst year of my life? We were blessed in 2019 and had a lot of wonderful things happen, but it was still the worst year I’ve had. We had major milestones (Kiarra turned 20, I turned 40, Jayden turned 18, Tamia turned 21, Taryn turned 13, Jeff and I celebrated 20 years of marriage, etc), which were all great, but we were also battling what has been the toughest fight we’ve ever faced. Most people don’t know this and would never know because I didn’t remain in my closet on the floor in the fetal position. I got up, put on my oils, showered, got ready for the day, diffused oils 24/7, and trekked forward with my head held high. Did I have moments of meltdowns and uncertainty? Absolutely! Did I have moments that are engraved into my brain forever that I want to forget? Yep, that too! Was there a day here and there that I had to force myself to get out of bed?  Sure did. The specific oils I used boosted my mood and helped with my anxiety (thankfully I haven’t had to take anxiety medication in over 4 years – thank you doTERRA). Without these oils, I 100% would have needed to get on medication for anxiety (which would have had major side effects). I was able to manage life and continue being the best wife and mother I could be because 1, God had me in the palm of his hand and 2, I had the tools and products I needed to regain my health (from my Sepsis diagnosis), stay healthy (from catching the flu) and press forward. There are 4 specific oils/blends I used to get out of bed, keep my head held high and press forward during this very difficult season. Those are Cheer, Jasmin, Balance and Adaptiv.

• Cheer is dōTERRAs Uplifing Blend. It smells fresh and warm and uplifts my mood within seconds of inhaling it and applying it topically. I start everyday with Cheer. Typically, I apply it on my way to work or once I get to the office but during this time I had it on my nightstand and would often apply it before getting out of bed.

• Jasmin is wonderful for uplifting the mood and calming the nerves. It smells like a real Jasmine flower, it’s warm and exotic.

• Balance is dōTERRAs Grounding Blend and it does just that. It didn’t matter if I was crying in the fetal position or just down from everything going on, it would immediately calm and ground me. It’s very soothing and tranquil. Balance is one that I’ve used for years, applying it to the bottoms of my feet each morning when I was getting ready for work. It helps me get in the right head space to start my day. I love it so much I also will apply it throughout the day to my wrists.

• Adaptiv is dōTERRAs Calming Blend. It is new as of September and has already changed SO many lives. There are thousands of testimony’s on this wonderful blend. I started taking the capsules when I received them and looking back, I can see a clear difference in my mindset prior to taking them verses after taking them. I didn’t need to grab Cheer and Jasmin as much throughout the day because I was taking Adaptiv.

In addition to my normal routine of oils, and the ones mentioned above, I also diffused Peppermint and Wild Orange constantly. They smell amazing together, they are uplifting and calming.

Throughout the year, I also managed to really detox our home to get rid of the remaining products that cause us to feel awful. As I learn more about chemicals and how bad they are for us (we already know that chemicals are toxic and toxins cause cancer), I can’t help but toss items as I come across them.

We can’t eliminate 100% of all toxins from our life as we breathe nasty fumes and such each day but I will do everything I can to eliminate the products that we keep in our home and ensure I’m doing everything I can to protect my family from these things. I started 3-4 years ago and immediately removed the following items. If you are interested in getting rid of some super toxic items in your home, I recommend you also immediately remove the following items:

• Dryer Sheets
• Laundry Soap (Tide and Dreft are the worst)
• Candles, Plug-ins and wax burners
• Cleaning products (if they burn your nose and you have to (or should) wear a mask, you should NOT be using them or have them in your home)
• Shampoos and scented hand/body soaps
• Perfume and Cologne
• All food containing MSG and Red Dye 40

I did manage to remember to take a picture in Moms driveway while we were in Iowa over Christmas. Sorry I didn’t smile with my teeth (braces).  Speaking of braces, third time is a charm, right?  I shouldn’t have to have them much longer. The goal of getting them this final time was to fix the front tooth, that had gone astray after my permanent retainer broke years ago, and also fix two back teeth that were crooked (which could be causing issues with my TMJ). I’ve found an oil that has really helps when I’m having pain from my TMJ and another to help me relax at night, so I don’t clench my teeth. For the most part, my weight has plateaued. I’m an emotional eater and with the stresses of life, I ended up gaining 10-12 pounds. My weight always fluctuates 5 lbs here and there but for the most part, I’ve maintained my weight (with these extra pounds). I haven’t had to go up in clothing size so I remain happy with my results. It’s been 3 years since my surgery and I’m still so grateful that I took the steps to take control of my health and get healthier. I have no regrets on how I chose to do this. Now I just need to drop those pesky pounds I gained and maybe a few extra.

This year, I plan to learn more about plant-based nutrition as well as get my blood sugar under control. I’ve had trouble since high school with low blood sugar and I was having some pretty significant symptoms again, so I had my doctor run labs which confirmed my suspicions. It’s constantly low and then I also have major crashes. When it should be 120-140 (two-three hours after a meal), it’s only 45-55. I naturally have really low blood pressure as well so to add the low blood sugar is a bit annoying. They say to eat something sugary to bring it up quickly, but I don’t want to!  I want to reduce our sugar intake and remove processed foods completely. There is just no good reason for all these chips, granola bars and junk!  If I could just get my son to eat more veggies!!  I’m tracking my sugar every few hours right now and will continue for the next 30 days.

Wishing you a blessed New Year!  Bring on 2020!

xoxo,

Trina

A New Decade

Twenty Twenty… a year that seemed so far away just 13 years ago when Jayden started Kindergarten and we realized he’d be graduating in 2020.

One decade ago the kids were just 11, 10, 8 and 3. They were all just kids, not even in high school yet and now we have 2 in college, one graduating high school in 4 months and our baby girl is a teenager and in 7th grade.  So much has happened these past 10 years.  Matter of fact, 10 years ago is when I started this blog. I only ever intended to write to keep our family up-to-date on what was happening with us and at first I was so good about writing often, then life got super busy and I just don’t make the time for it like I once did. Writing has always been so therapeutic for me and I’ve always really enjoyed it.

I thought it would be fun to take a little walk down memory lane…

2010 – It was the year of traveling. We made 3 trips to Iowa that year. Twice for weddings and then for Christmas. It was Taryn’s first Christmas in Iowa. We had gone each year up until the year my Dad passed away and then we stayed home for 5 years. She was only 4 years old at that time and we’ve only missed one year since then. I traveled to Canada multiple times for work and of course we hit up the beach a couple of times. We enjoyed going to the Renaissance Festival and to San Antonio.

2011 – This year started out rough. After the loss of several friends (we went to 4 funerals in 2 months), I was laid off. Jeff had a major health scare with his heart which, thankfully, the ER was able to get under control and I’m so grateful it happened when it did. It was Jeff’s turn to be out of town a bunch this year except he didn’t just leave for a week or two here and there, he was gone for MONTHS at a time. God is always so good though, it was all perfect timing as I wasn’t working for part of it so I could run the kids where they needed to go and hold down the home-front. The kids and I drove to Alabama and surprised him while he was working and made a mini vacation out of our time there. I also had a health scare this year which landed me in the hospital and after spending 12 weeks recovering from that, I was finally well again. We went on a family vacation with my Mom, brothers and their families to Florida which was awesome. We also spent time in New Orleans with Jeff's parents.

2012 – This year was a little tough. From kids injuries and surgeries (Kiarra and Jayden) to my own knee injury and surgery, it was just rough! On a happy note, we bought a new house that year and the kids all changed schools. They really enjoyed their new schools and having friends to play with again. I, on the other hand hated the house and was plotting to sell it 😊. Taryn started Kindergarten this year! Tamia started high school, Kiarra was in 8^th and Jayden in 5^th grade. The only time Jayden and Taryn would be in the same school was the 12/13 school year. We purchased the house thinking Tamia would be living with us but the court system took too long and she ended up changing her mind (which is totally understandable). I was on a project at work and was extremely busy. Jeff was still managing his crew and thankfully didn’t have to be out of town like the previous year. The best thing that happened this year was that Jeffs brother and his wife had their very first baby girl. We had a sweet new niece to love on!

2013 – Jeff worked out of town quite a bit again this year so I was on my own to hold down the fort. Thankfully, the kids were a bit older and could help out. My oldest nephew graduated high school and we were able to be in Iowa and be present for that. Jeff’s grandmother passed away towards the end of the year which was super sad. It was the only blood grandparent he really knew, and he was close with her. We sold our house in Firethorne (that I hated) and moved into a tiny apartment while they finished building our new one. This is the third house we’ve built and I questioned myself on why we torture ourselves in this way. It’s not really a fun process. Parts of it are fun, but it’s a frustrating and long process. It was a crazy time with getting Kiarra into the new high school even though we didn’t live in the right zone. She wanted to play volleyball and so we had to jump through so many hoops to make that happen (all because the new house was taking forever to be built).

2014 – Hands down, one of the worst years of our lives (there is no testimony without a test). I want to keep this all as positive as possible, but the reality of life is that things are not always positive.  The entire year was and still is a blur. I have documentation of what occurred, my blogs, and I recall the many sleepless nights so I know it was rough. We haven’t completely gone public with our story but for those of you close enough to us, you know our story and the danger one of our children was in. One day, I hope to go completely public with the story. Jeff tore his Achilles just 1 week before we moved into our new home (that was delayed 4 months due to rain and holidays). This brought on a whole new level of stress as I was now the only driver. Kiarra was playing club volleyball, Jayden was playing basketball and Taryn was in dance. It was a crazy 14 weeks! The highlight of they year has to be that we had another new family member join us, another precious niece. Speaking of nieces, my niece Makenzie graduated from high school this year and we were able to be in Iowa for this. I got to catch up with a friend I hadn’t seen or talked to in 10 years. It was a great trip!  This is also the year I realized I needed to find a new job. Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as we started to pray about it, I had 3 people that I’d worked with previously all reach out to me. Within a month of first praying about this, I was working for a new company! Before starting the new job, we took a quick trip to Destin which was exactly what I needed. Jeff and I celebrated our 15 year wedding anniversary!! Jayden started playing football for the very first time and he got his first pick 6 (ok, this was pretty awesome too!!).

2015 – What a difference a year can make! Overall, 2015 was a good year! Kiarra turned 16 and got her drivers license. She also started her very first job at Baskin Robbins and was the cutest and friendliest ice cream scooper in all of Katy TX! We threw her surprise birthday party (which didn’t end up being a surprise but still so much fun). The hardest part of this year was that my Moms very best friend of many many years was diagnosed with brain cancer and unfortunately passed away. It was so sad. Jan had the best laugh of anyone I’ve ever met and always had a way of brightening our day. She was kind and compassionate and such a fighter. We all miss her.  Kiarra played in her last high school volleyball game which was bittersweet.  I met a new friend at my job and she has become so dear to me, I don’t know what I’d do without her. I ended up quitting that job and starting a new one and on my very first day of work I flew to The Netherlands to meet my team and learn my job. I had only ever been to Canada so this was an awesome experience for me. I only wish I would have planned better to take the family with me.

2016 – Another tough year where I really had to lean on the Lord to get me through. So much tragedy and heartache.  Is this really what it’s like to be an adult??  On a positive note, we got another little bundle of joy to snuggle. Jeffs brother and his wife had their third baby girl. This is the year we began leading a small group in our home again. We were blessed with more friends who have become family. Small group is my favorite time of the week! The best part of 2016 is that our oldest daughter Tamia graduated from high school and she invited us to be there for it. It had been a while since we’d seen her and so we were thrilled when we got the invite. My Mom sold her house and moved in with us before moving back to Iowa. We were also able to be in Iowa for my Morgans, graduation (my other nephew). This is the year I dove into Essential Oils because I finally took the time to educate myself on them. It's funny how things happen, because just after my Mom moved away, Jeff's parents moved to Texas! It is so nice having them here so close us. In the fall, Tamia started college, Kiarra started her Senior year of high school, Jayden a freshman in high school and Taryn in 3^rd grade. Jeff turned 40 in and I threw him a fun 70s theme party where everyone had to dress in that decade. It was so much fun!  At the end of they year, I had surgery to begin a new health journey which you can read about here (Journey to Health, Volume I and Journey to Health, Volume II). Volume I is a long blog but if you’ve ever struggled with your health or your weight, I encourage you to read it.

2017 – I rang in the new year at home recovering from surgery and Jeff and the kids went to a friends. Kiarra was also recovering from having her wisdom teeth out which soon took a turn for the worst. She ended up getting a horrible infection which caused her to have to go into emergency surgery to have the infection removed. It was awful and a very long recovery but after a couple of months, she was fully healed, and the swelling had finally completely gone down. This was a year I had anticipated for many years. Kiarra was graduating high school!!  Senior year is full of activity after activity. Homecoming, Prom and many many ceremonies but the day for graduation came quickly and was over in a snap. I’m forever grateful that my immediate family was all here to celebrate this day. She had planned to go to community college for her basics but then God had different plans for her. Tamia was doing well in college and had a change in her degree and career path. She has always had the biggest heart and is the sweetest human being with a servant’s heart. She is now going to be a teacher!!  A wonderful career that she will be perfect at! Throughout the year I had lost about 90 pounds and had to buy an entire new wardrobe. I was able to do things I hadn’t done in years. Hurricane Harvey hit this year and it was devastating to our community.

2018 – We kicked off this year with sending Kiarra off to college. It was hard yet so awesome at the same time. I didn’t know what it would be like to have her away and I hated it. I still prefer everyone to be home under one roof playing games and acting like lunatics but yea, yea, yea… they have to grow up. 2018 was a challenging year. Emotionally I was unstable, and I was trying to be strong and not let her being away ruin me. I wasn’t prepared for her to go away yet I knew she was where she was supposed to be. We continued to host small group in our home each week. something that I really enjoy. My grandfather passed away at the beginning of the year which was tough. He was my last living grandparent. We got to see Tamia multiple times this year which was so awesome. Jeff and I took our first trip alone (since our honeymoon) and we went to Utah. We had a wonderful time at the annual doTERRA conference and spending time together. The Lord knew what he was doing when he provided needs to allow us to go on that trip together (not that I ever doubted that). We needed that time and I’m so thankful we took it.

2019 – The years just seem to go faster and faster. This year started off rough, as I was hospitalized for Sepsis and very ill. I have been recovering all year from the massive amount of antibiotics they gave me but through this process, I’ve learned a tremendous amount about my body and my autoimmune disorder (as well as natural solutions and rebuilding my immune system). We had so many blessing this past year I can’t even begin to count them all. Just a couple of days of being released from the hospital I attended a women’s retreat with the ladies in my church where we learned about being anchored in the Lord (Wow!! Powerful and timely message). We knew 2019 was going to be a BIG year, and it sure was!! To summarize, Kiarra turned 20 and although not a major milestone birthday, she’s no longer a teenager. I turned 40 and we spent the week in Las Vegas. Jayden turned 18! Tamia turned 21! Jeff and I had our 20-year wedding anniversary! And last, but certainly not least, Taryn turned 13! Speaking of Taryn, she also started playing sports! She’s always been a dancer but has put that aside. She tried out for volleyball and made the A-team and is currently playing basketball, also on the A-team. She is playing club volleyball and is also planning to try out for soccer. Jayden had a great football season, their team made it to third round of playoffs. He injured his thumb the first week of football and we finally saw a doctor in November. The MRI confirmed he had torn ligaments and he just had surgery to have it reconstructed. That took him out of playing basketball, as well as track. He has a cast now and is expected to have a full recovery. Kiarra finished up her second year at CFNI as well as a couple of classes at DBU. Once she finished at CFNI next year, she plans to attend DBU full time to get her degree. Tamia is also still trekking along in school. She’s been student teaching and should finish up next year as well. We’ve seen more and more of her this year and it makes us so happy when we are all together.

Well, here we are 10 years later. 2020!  Through all the years, and all the ups and downs, I’m reminded of Gods love for us! He is always there, through every situation, He is there.