Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Journey to Health, Volume VII


  


2019 started out rocky after I was hospitalized for Sepsis at the end of January. You can read about that journey here if you’d like. Recovery from that has taken most of the year. They gave me an incredible amount of antibiotics that wiped out my immune system which then resulted in me being ill a few times this past year. I mostly feel like myself but am still worried about getting another infection and having to go through all that again. I feel great most of the time but the first 6-8 months were rough. In December I had a scope of my bladder (OUCHHH), and they confirmed everything looked great and that I definitely didn’t have bladder cancer.

I took time in 2019 to organize my home. I did an overhaul of my closet (check out the before and after videos that I posted) and pantry (sorry, I forgot to take a before pic)! It was two full days that were very well spent and each time I go into either of them, I’m no longer frustrated but smile from ear to ear that they are organized. Everything is easy to find once again! The pantry still needs some work (just too much stuff that I can’t get rid of, like 7 crock pots) but I love the containers I purchased to organize everything. This is part of my Journey to Health because stress affects health. If something is stressful, I try to remove it from my life. There are things we simply can’t remove, but if something like a cluttered closet is stressing you out every time you walk into and it you want to light a match and burn the place down because of it, I suggest doing something about it.

Speaking of stress, March and April of last year were tough. I struggled mentally. I had thoughts of ending my life and one day it got to be too much. I know I will never, ever, end my life but that doesn’t stop the thoughts. They don’t magically just go away because a decision is made to never take the action on those thoughts.  Making that decision doesn’t stop the enemy from coming in and attacking me and my family with vengeance. I spoke to Jeff about it and asked those close to me to pray. I began to read up on mental health and how I could combat it with essential oils. I had everything in my arsenal that I needed, or so I thought. I began using them more regularly and consistently which immediately helped. I thought I was good until I realized I could be great. In September, doTERRA launched a new product that has given me a whole new perspective on life. As soon as I received my new oils and capsules, I started taking them immediately and what a difference they made. People close to me recognized the difference not even knowing I was doing/taking something different.

Did you know that 2019 was the worst year of my life? We were blessed in 2019 and had a lot of wonderful things happen, but it was still the worst year I’ve had. We had major milestones (Kiarra turned 20, I turned 40, Jayden turned 18, Tamia turned 21, Taryn turned 13, Jeff and I celebrated 20 years of marriage, etc), which were all great, but we were also battling what has been the toughest fight we’ve ever faced. Most people don’t know this and would never know because I didn’t remain in my closet on the floor in the fetal position. I got up, put on my oils, showered, got ready for the day, diffused oils 24/7, and trekked forward with my head held high. Did I have moments of meltdowns and uncertainty? Absolutely! Did I have moments that are engraved into my brain forever that I want to forget? Yep, that too! Was there a day here and there that I had to force myself to get out of bed?  Sure did. The specific oils I used boosted my mood and helped with my anxiety (thankfully I haven’t had to take anxiety medication in over 4 years – thank you doTERRA). Without these oils, I 100% would have needed to get on medication for anxiety (which would have had major side effects). I was able to manage life and continue being the best wife and mother I could be because 1, God had me in the palm of his hand and 2, I had the tools and products I needed to regain my health (from my Sepsis diagnosis), stay healthy (from catching the flu) and press forward. There are 4 specific oils/blends I used to get out of bed, keep my head held high and press forward during this very difficult season. Those are Cheer, Jasmin, Balance and Adaptiv.
  • Cheer is dōTERRAs Uplifing Blend. It smells fresh and warm and uplifts my mood within seconds of inhaling it and applying it topically. I start everyday with Cheer. Typically, I apply it on my way to work or once I get to the office but during this time I had it on my nightstand and would often apply it before getting out of bed.
  • Jasmin is wonderful for uplifting the mood and calming the nerves. It smells like a real Jasmine flower, it’s warm and exotic.
  • Balance is dōTERRAs Grounding Blend and it does just that. It didn’t matter if I was crying in the fetal position or just down from everything going on, it would immediately calm and ground me. It’s very soothing and tranquil. Balance is one that I’ve used for years, applying it to the bottoms of my feet each morning when I was getting ready for work. It helps me get in the right head space to start my day. I love it so much I also will apply it throughout the day to my wrists.
  • Adaptiv is dōTERRAs Calming Blend. It is new as of September and has already changed SO many lives. There are thousands of testimony’s on this wonderful blend. I started taking the capsules when I received them and looking back, I can see a clear difference in my mindset prior to taking them verses after taking them. I didn’t need to grab Cheer and Jasmin as much throughout the day because I was taking Adaptiv.

In addition to my normal routine of oils, and the ones mentioned above, I also diffused Peppermint and Wild Orange constantly. They smell amazing together, they are uplifting and calming.

Throughout the year, I also managed to really detox our home to get rid of the remaining products that cause us to feel awful. As I learn more about chemicals and how bad they are for us (we already know that chemicals are toxic and toxins cause cancer), I can’t help but toss items as I come across them.

We can’t eliminate 100% of all toxins from our life as we breathe nasty fumes and such each day but I will do everything I can to eliminate the products that we keep in our home and ensure I’m doing everything I can to protect my family from these things. I started 3-4 years ago and immediately removed the following items. If you are interested in getting rid of some super toxic items in your home, I recommend you also immediately remove the following items:
  • Dryer Sheets
  • Laundry Soap (Tide and Dreft are the worst)
  • Candles, Plug-ins and wax burners
  • Cleaning products (if they burn your nose and you have to (or should) wear a mask, you should NOT be using them or have them in your home)
  • Shampoos and scented hand/body soaps
  • Perfume and Cologne
  • All food containing MSG and Red Dye 40

I did manage to remember to take a picture in Moms driveway while we were in Iowa over Christmas. Sorry I didn’t smile with my teeth (braces).  Speaking of braces, third time is a charm, right?  I shouldn’t have to have them much longer. The goal of getting them this final time was to fix the front tooth, that had gone astray after my permanent retainer broke years ago, and also fix two back teeth that were crooked (which could be causing issues with my TMJ). I’ve found an oil that has really helps when I’m having pain from my TMJ and another to help me relax at night, so I don’t clench my teeth. For the most part, my weight has plateaued. I’m an emotional eater and with the stresses of life, I ended up gaining 10-12 pounds. My weight always fluctuates 5 lbs here and there but for the most part, I’ve maintained my weight (with these extra pounds). I haven’t had to go up in clothing size so I remain happy with my results. It’s been 3 years since my surgery and I’m still so grateful that I took the steps to take control of my health and get healthier. I have no regrets on how I chose to do this. Now I just need to drop those pesky pounds I gained and maybe a few extra.

This year, I plan to learn more about plant-based nutrition as well as get my blood sugar under control. I’ve had trouble since high school with low blood sugar and I was having some pretty significant symptoms again, so I had my doctor run labs which confirmed my suspicions. It’s constantly low and then I also have major crashes. When it should be 120-140 (two-three hours after a meal), it’s only 45-55. I naturally have really low blood pressure as well so to add the low blood sugar is a bit annoying. They say to eat something sugary to bring it up quickly, but I don’t want to!  I want to reduce our sugar intake and remove processed foods completely. There is just no good reason for all these chips, granola bars and junk!  If I could just get my son to eat more veggies!!  I’m tracking my sugar every few hours right now and will continue for the next 30 days.

Wishing you a blessed New Year!  Bring on 2020!

xoxo,
Trina















Friday, January 10, 2020

A New Decade




Twenty Twenty… a year that seemed so far away just 13 years ago when Jayden started Kindergarten and we realized he’d be graduating in 2020.

One decade ago the kids were just 11, 10, 8 and 3. They were all just kids, not even in high school yet and now we have 2 in college, one graduating high school in 4 months and our baby girl is a teenager and in 7th grade.  So much has happened these past 10 years.  Matter of fact, 10 years ago is when I started this blog. I only ever intended to write to keep our family up-to-date on what was happening with us and at first I was so good about writing often, then life got super busy and I just don’t make the time for it like I once did. Writing has always been so therapeutic for me and I’ve always really enjoyed it.

I thought it would be fun to take a little walk down memory lane…

2010 – It was the year of traveling. We made 3 trips to Iowa that year. Twice for weddings and then for Christmas. It was Taryn’s first Christmas in Iowa. We had gone each year up until the year my Dad passed away and then we stayed home for 5 years. She was only 4 years old at that time and we’ve only missed one year since then. I traveled to Canada multiple times for work and of course we hit up the beach a couple of times. We enjoyed going to the Renaissance Festival and to San Antonio.

2011 – This year started out rough. After the loss of several friends (we went to 4 funerals in 2 months), I was laid off. Jeff had a major health scare with his heart which, thankfully, the ER was able to get under control and I’m so grateful it happened when it did. It was Jeff’s turn to be out of town a bunch this year except he didn’t just leave for a week or two here and there, he was gone for MONTHS at a time. God is always so good though, it was all perfect timing as I wasn’t working for part of it so I could run the kids where they needed to go and hold down the home-front. The kids and I drove to Alabama and surprised him while he was working and made a mini vacation out of our time there. I also had a health scare this year which landed me in the hospital and after spending 12 weeks recovering from that, I was finally well again. We went on a family vacation with my Mom, brothers and their families to Florida which was awesome. We also spent time in New Orleans with Jeff's parents.

2012 – This year was a little tough. From kids injuries and surgeries (Kiarra and Jayden) to my own knee injury and surgery, it was just rough! On a happy note, we bought a new house that year and the kids all changed schools. They really enjoyed their new schools and having friends to play with again. I, on the other hand hated the house and was plotting to sell it 😊. Taryn started Kindergarten this year! Tamia started high school, Kiarra was in 8th and Jayden in 5th grade. The only time Jayden and Taryn would be in the same school was the 12/13 school year. We purchased the house thinking Tamia would be living with us but the court system took too long and she ended up changing her mind (which is totally understandable). I was on a project at work and was extremely busy. Jeff was still managing his crew and thankfully didn’t have to be out of town like the previous year. The best thing that happened this year was that Jeffs brother and his wife had their very first baby girl. We had a sweet new niece to love on!

2013 – Jeff worked out of town quite a bit again this year so I was on my own to hold down the fort. Thankfully, the kids were a bit older and could help out. My oldest nephew graduated high school and we were able to be in Iowa and be present for that. Jeff’s grandmother passed away towards the end of the year which was super sad. It was the only blood grandparent he really knew, and he was close with her. We sold our house in Firethorne (that I hated) and moved into a tiny apartment while they finished building our new one. This is the third house we’ve built and I questioned myself on why we torture ourselves in this way. It’s not really a fun process. Parts of it are fun, but it’s a frustrating and long process. It was a crazy time with getting Kiarra into the new high school even though we didn’t live in the right zone. She wanted to play volleyball and so we had to jump through so many hoops to make that happen (all because the new house was taking forever to be built).

2014 – Hands down, one of the worst years of our lives (there is no testimony without a test). I want to keep this all as positive as possible, but the reality of life is that things are not always positive.  The entire year was and still is a blur. I have documentation of what occurred, my blogs, and I recall the many sleepless nights so I know it was rough. We haven’t completely gone public with our story but for those of you close enough to us, you know our story and the danger one of our children was in. One day, I hope to go completely public with the story. Jeff tore his Achilles just 1 week before we moved into our new home (that was delayed 4 months due to rain and holidays). This brought on a whole new level of stress as I was now the only driver. Kiarra was playing club volleyball, Jayden was playing basketball and Taryn was in dance. It was a crazy 14 weeks! The highlight of they year has to be that we had another new family member join us, another precious niece. Speaking of nieces, my niece Makenzie graduated from high school this year and we were able to be in Iowa for this. I got to catch up with a friend I hadn’t seen or talked to in 10 years. It was a great trip!  This is also the year I realized I needed to find a new job. Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as we started to pray about it, I had 3 people that I’d worked with previously all reach out to me. Within a month of first praying about this, I was working for a new company! Before starting the new job, we took a quick trip to Destin which was exactly what I needed. Jeff and I celebrated our 15 year wedding anniversary!! Jayden started playing football for the very first time and he got his first pick 6 (ok, this was pretty awesome too!!).

2015 – What a difference a year can make! Overall, 2015 was a good year! Kiarra turned 16 and got her drivers license. She also started her very first job at Baskin Robbins and was the cutest and friendliest ice cream scooper in all of Katy TX! We threw her surprise birthday party (which didn’t end up being a surprise but still so much fun). The hardest part of this year was that my Moms very best friend of many many years was diagnosed with brain cancer and unfortunately passed away. It was so sad. Jan had the best laugh of anyone I’ve ever met and always had a way of brightening our day. She was kind and compassionate and such a fighter. We all miss her.  Kiarra played in her last high school volleyball game which was bittersweet.  I met a new friend at my job and she has become so dear to me, I don’t know what I’d do without her. I ended up quitting that job and starting a new one and on my very first day of work I flew to The Netherlands to meet my team and learn my job. I had only ever been to Canada so this was an awesome experience for me. I only wish I would have planned better to take the family with me.

2016 – Another tough year where I really had to lean on the Lord to get me through. So much tragedy and heartache.  Is this really what it’s like to be an adult??  On a positive note, we got another little bundle of joy to snuggle. Jeffs brother and his wife had their third baby girl. This is the year we began leading a small group in our home again. We were blessed with more friends who have become family. Small group is my favorite time of the week! The best part of 2016 is that our oldest daughter Tamia graduated from high school and she invited us to be there for it. It had been a while since we’d seen her and so we were thrilled when we got the invite. My Mom sold her house and moved in with us before moving back to Iowa. We were also able to be in Iowa for my Morgans, graduation (my other nephew). This is the year I dove into Essential Oils because I finally took the time to educate myself on them. It's funny how things happen, because just after my Mom moved away, Jeff's parents moved to Texas! It is so nice having them here so close us. In the fall, Tamia started college, Kiarra started her Senior year of high school, Jayden a freshman in high school and Taryn in 3rd grade. Jeff turned 40 in and I threw him a fun 70s theme party where everyone had to dress in that decade. It was so much fun!  At the end of they year, I had surgery to begin a new health journey which you can read about here (Journey to Health, Volume I and Journey to Health, Volume II). Volume I is a long blog but if you’ve ever struggled with your health or your weight, I encourage you to read it.

2017 – I rang in the new year at home recovering from surgery and Jeff and the kids went to a friends. Kiarra was also recovering from having her wisdom teeth out which soon took a turn for the worst. She ended up getting a horrible infection which caused her to have to go into emergency surgery to have the infection removed. It was awful and a very long recovery but after a couple of months, she was fully healed, and the swelling had finally completely gone down. This was a year I had anticipated for many years. Kiarra was graduating high school!!  Senior year is full of activity after activity. Homecoming, Prom and many many ceremonies but the day for graduation came quickly and was over in a snap. I’m forever grateful that my immediate family was all here to celebrate this day. She had planned to go to community college for her basics but then God had different plans for her. Tamia was doing well in college and had a change in her degree and career path. She has always had the biggest heart and is the sweetest human being with a servant’s heart. She is now going to be a teacher!!  A wonderful career that she will be perfect at! Throughout the year I had lost about 90 pounds and had to buy an entire new wardrobe. I was able to do things I hadn’t done in years. Hurricane Harvey hit this year and it was devastating to our community.

2018 – We kicked off this year with sending Kiarra off to college. It was hard yet so awesome at the same time. I didn’t know what it would be like to have her away and I hated it. I still prefer everyone to be home under one roof playing games and acting like lunatics but yea, yea, yea… they have to grow up. 2018 was a challenging year. Emotionally I was unstable, and I was trying to be strong and not let her being away ruin me. I wasn’t prepared for her to go away yet I knew she was where she was supposed to be. We continued to host small group in our home each week. something that I really enjoy. My grandfather passed away at the beginning of the year which was tough. He was my last living grandparent. We got to see Tamia multiple times this year which was so awesome. Jeff and I took our first trip alone (since our honeymoon) and we went to Utah. We had a wonderful time at the annual doTERRA conference and spending time together. The Lord knew what he was doing when he provided needs to allow us to go on that trip together (not that I ever doubted that). We needed that time and I’m so thankful we took it.

2019 – The years just seem to go faster and faster. This year started off rough, as I was hospitalized for Sepsis and very ill. I have been recovering all year from the massive amount of antibiotics they gave me but through this process, I’ve learned a tremendous amount about my body and my autoimmune disorder (as well as natural solutions and rebuilding my immune system). We had so many blessing this past year I can’t even begin to count them all. Just a couple of days of being released from the hospital I attended a women’s retreat with the ladies in my church where we learned about being anchored in the Lord (Wow!! Powerful and timely message). We knew 2019 was going to be a BIG year, and it sure was!! To summarize, Kiarra turned 20 and although not a major milestone birthday, she’s no longer a teenager. I turned 40 and we spent the week in Las Vegas. Jayden turned 18! Tamia turned 21! Jeff and I had our 20-year wedding anniversary! And last, but certainly not least, Taryn turned 13! Speaking of Taryn, she also started playing sports! She’s always been a dancer but has put that aside. She tried out for volleyball and made the A-team and is currently playing basketball, also on the A-team. She is playing club volleyball and is also planning to try out for soccer. Jayden had a great football season, their team made it to third round of playoffs. He injured his thumb the first week of football and we finally saw a doctor in November. The MRI confirmed he had torn ligaments and he just had surgery to have it reconstructed. That took him out of playing basketball, as well as track. He has a cast now and is expected to have a full recovery. Kiarra finished up her second year at CFNI as well as a couple of classes at DBU. Once she finished at CFNI next year, she plans to attend DBU full time to get her degree. Tamia is also still trekking along in school. She’s been student teaching and should finish up next year as well. We’ve seen more and more of her this year and it makes us so happy when we are all together.

Well, here we are 10 years later. 2020!  Through all the years, and all the ups and downs, I’m reminded of Gods love for us! He is always there, through every situation, He is there.


Monday, January 28, 2019

Got Sepsis??

Got Sepsis? Well, that has been the question of the week...

What a week this has been. From the ER to feeling great. From passing kidney stones to feeling great again. From spiking a fever and to going back to the ER to being admitted to the hospital, the past 10 days have been a roller coaster.
The summary of this blog is that I was hospitalized for Sepsis and a Kidney Infection and am home recovering now.


For those that like to know the details of the days, you’ll want to continue. I’ll share some funny moments, frustrating times, and the scary reality of what I was dealing with.


On Thursday, January 17th, I woke up and had a bit of burning when I went to the bathroom. It had happened one day the prior week, but I didn’t think anything of it as it only happened that one time. Within 10 minutes, I had to go again. Ugh! It was 6:30 am and I was getting ready for work as I was going into the office that day. I continued to get ready for work as I felt completely fine but had to stop multiple times as the urgency to go was so strong. At this time, it was burning quite bad. I started my working day at home as I wouldn’t leave for the office until 8:15 however I could barely work because of the constant urge to pee! Because I had just, the day prior, talked to a friend who was experiencing this same thing, she told me about the AZO cranberry pills and so I headed to Walgreens to get them. Walgreens is literally outside my neighborhood, so I was gone for less than 10 minutes. By the time I got home, I thought I was going to pee my pants. I’m not even kidding. I ran from my car into the bathroom and that’s when I noticed the blood. This changed everything. Jeff took Taryn to school and I started researching. I oiled up and then called my doctor, who couldn’t see me until the following week so then reached out to a friend who had recently seen a general practitioner that she liked. I called them and after getting registered into their system, they let me talk to a nurse. The nurse was wonderful. She asked me tons of questions and went through all my symptoms (my one symptom basically), and my health history. She said “Mrs. Dailey, this sounds very serious. You are not going to like what I have to say but we need you to go to the ER.” The ER? What.the.heck..? I have no fever, I feel fine (except for burning and urinating blood). She proceeded to tell me that they have plenty of openings today but with the amount of blood I am explaining (I’ve never been able to see blood in my urine before), it’s important I get it checked out and that they run the proper tests.

Ok then..

Jeff was working from home that day and so I went into where he was working and told him what the nurse said. He closed his laptop and was ready to go. I was NOT ready to go. I had a client meeting that afternoon and other commitments at work that I needed to take care of quickly. My heart suddenly started racing because I felt this sudden heaviness. Again, I feel fine! I called my coworker and let her know what’s going on, I changed out of my work clothes and into comfy clothes and off we went. I text my friend who immediately called and prayed with me and then sent a text to our group so they’d be in prayer as well. I had a couple of other friends who knew what was going on and I text my Mom on my way to the ER.

We arrive, I filled out one piece of paper and the nurse was standing there already ready for us. We are barely through the doors and the doctor approaches asking us what’s going on. They take my vitals, and everything is good. They took a sample from me and the doctor asked me all the same questions the nurse earlier asked on the phone. I think they were looking at me funny because I’m fully ready for work, hair is fixed, makeup is on, I feel fine, look fine, act fine, etc. They came back with the results and said I had a bad bladder infection. They said it probably went undiagnosed for quite some time because I had no symptoms. We were in and out of the ER in 30 minutes.

Jeff and I dropped the prescriptions off at CVS. They said they wouldn’t be ready until 5 pm and so we headed to get something to eat and get home to continue our working day. By the time we got home the blood in my urine was nearly gone (visibly). It was no longer red! Halleluiah! I oiled up again and took another internal dose. Jeff applied many to my spine and soon, the urge to go every 10 minutes had lessened to every 30-45 minutes. Things were progressing right along. We both continued our work day. I spoke with my friend who recommended I get D-Mannose and so I headed to whole foods after I finished up some work to get that. I also continued with the cranberry pills and of course using essential oils internally and topically. I spoke to my friend who is a nurse and she was a bit confused by the specific antibiotic they prescribed me as it’s not something her doctors typically prescribe for a bladder infection. Around 9 pm, I received a text from CVS that my prescription was ready. I already knew I likely wasn’t going to be taking it but I certainly wasn’t leaving the house at this time to go get it.

Friday was a typical day. I continued to feel fine and the urge to go was less and less. By this point, my urine was practically back to normal and the burning was mostly gone. I continued with the oils, the D-Mannose and the cranberry pills. I was drinking as much water as I possibly could and I cut caffeine.

Saturday, I woke up feeling great and went about my day. Around 11:15 am, I suddenly felt like I was being stabbed with knives 🔪🔪 in my lower back and abdomen. We were at a friend’s basketball game about 20 minutes away and I cried all the way home. I read articles off and on for 5 hours and was positive that I was passing kidney stones. I oiled up, took many oils internally, and laid on the heating pad, rotating it from my back to my abdomen. If I had not of had a hysterectomy 12 years ago, I would have sworn on my life that I was in labor. That pain was no joke. I’m so very sorry to all of you who have experienced kidney stones.

The question of taking the antibiotics keeps coming up, however I was still holding out. At this point, I know they can’t help the kidney stones, as a matter of fact, every article I read tells me that they can make stones worse. This is the last thing I need right now. I was still monitoring my urine and my body very closely and knew I would take them the minute I thought it was necessary. Prior to this stabbing pain today, I thought I was in the clear.

One thing I want to make very clear. I’m not totally against antibiotics. I know there is a time and place for them and for lots of medications. Even though I choose to use natural solutions for my health, I’m not 100% against modern medicine. I’ve been educated over the past several years and no longer choose to run for an antibiotic for every little fever and ailment, but it doesn’t mean I’m totally against them. I very much dislike them, that is no secret at all, and I have very good reason for that. In this situation, it seemed like there was no point in taking them. I was not sick. I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t have a fever. Yes, I had blood in my urine for 3 hours.. and yes, I know that is a pretty big deal. Had I of known then what I know now, this absolutely would have changed my decision, but I didn’t know. You also must understand that I was taking natural antibiotics. I was not taking the easy way out by using natural solutions. Believe me, in the short term, it would be much easier to pop the pill that was sitting in the kitchen, but I was not yet at that point. I know the long-term effects of antibiotics and I just was not ready to subject my body to all that comes with taking them. With Essential Oils and natural solutions, there are NO side effects and not only that, by using all these oils I was also supporting my body in so many other ways.

This picture below shows a good majority of what I was using to fight the bladder infection, relieve pain and stay functioning. The Oregano Essential Oil alone will fight the nastiest of infections but I’m wasn't stopping there, I was supporting my body from multiple avenues, in a natural and healthy way.
I’ve also included two great articles that I’d like for you to read. I’m constantly reading and educating myself on natural solutions and found these to be helpful.
https://observer.com/…/the-5-most-powerful-all-natural…/amp/
https://draxe.com/oregano-oil-benefits-superior-prescripti…/

After 6 hours of the most intensive cramps and back ache, I finally passed the kidney stones. Within an hour, my body relaxed, and I felt completely normal again (except for my body aching from being so tense for 6 hours and from being in the fetal position). The thing I didn’t notice then but looking back, I now know… I had no appetite Friday and Saturday (more about that later).

Sunday, I woke up and felt great (again). While picking up around the house, I even stopped to do FB live on my business page so everyone could see that I was doing great! I watched church live, attended a church lunch for all the Life Group leaders, hosted Life Group at our house that afternoon/evening and then did my online training for my business. I crawled into bed around 10 pm and within an hour, my lower back started hurting. Oh. My. Gosh. Here we go again. Round two of kidney stones. Another 5 hours of intense pain, rolling from side to side, in the fetal position, laying straight, wanting to vomit, peeing every 15 minutes because I know sooner or later another stone is going to pass. I tried drinking a ton of water but damn the pain was so intense that I just wanted to bash the cup against my head. Finally, around 4 am it passed. My body calmed again, and I was able to get a bit of rest.

My 5:30 alarm Monday morning came all too soon. I text my coworker that I was going to sleep a few more hours and would be working as soon as I could. I couldn’t sleep much but I tried. Something just didn’t feel right. I felt a bit lethargic. I assumed it was from not getting any sleep but something else just seemed off. I think It was in this moment that I decided to take the antibiotic (Jeff seems to think I started it Sunday evening, but I can’t remember). According to how many pills are gone from the bottle, he is correct, but I just don’t remember (far too much has happened since then). I slept off and on until 9 am and then I tried to work. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t get through an email without having to shake my head to focus and really strain to get through each sentence. I text my coworker that I’d be taking a sick day and I shut my laptop down and tried to sleep. Suddenly I felt like I was going to freeze to death. My bedroom is the hottest room in the house when we have our heat on and so I immediately knew something was not right. No one is ever cold in our room, especially if the fan is not on. I found the thermometer and sure enough, I had a fever of 102.5. Great, just great. You can imagine that I was not happy and of course blamed the antibiotics. I was totally cursing the fact that I took that dumb antibiotic. I kept thinking “I knew I shouldn’t have started taken them” but continued to because I was all in at this point. I tossed and turned. I went from freezing to sweating profusely. My temp spiked to 104.4 (the highest it reached) and I truly felt horrible. I could barely get out of bed to use the restroom. I continued to oil up and take the antibiotic. The lowest I could get it was 101.6. It stayed at 102.5 most of the day, throughout the night and into Tuesday. And yes, I know, it’s not the antibiotics fault. You have to hear my humor through this 😊.

After 24 hours of having a fever of 101.6 – 104.4, and pain in my lower back, Jeff took me back to the ER. The nurse remembered us and this time, they did thorough testing. They took a chest x-ray, CT scan, lab work, checked for flu, Sepsis, strep, TB, etc. Everyone in the ER loved coming into our room. Although I was ill, I love talking about essential oils and each person that came in said it smelled like a spa in there. This is just from the oils Jeff and I each had applied topically earlier in the day. The lab results indicated that all my organs were functioning as they should be. My lungs were clear and there were no more kidney stones (thank GOD!!). The doctor said all my labs look great and there’s no real indication of an infection, however, the high fever is an indication of something going on and so they wanted to admit me to receive IV antibiotics, further testing and close monitoring. I’m allergic to one antibiotic but since we don’t know which one, it’s scary for me to take them. Back in 2011, I had a horrible staph infection and they pumped me with 12 antibiotics in about a 1.5 – 2 hours, giving me 3-4 at a time. One of them caused me to have hives and made my head super itchy. I scratched my head until my scalp bled. Jeff had to hold my hands while the Benadryl kicked in. So… antibiotics are scary, not only because of the side effects but because I’m just not sure which one affects me. My Dad was allergic to penicillin and so I typically stay away from that, but I have taken it and I survived.

Since it’s Tuesday, Jeff had to pick the girls up from school, get Taryn to dance and then go to Jayden’s game. He did not want to leave me by myself, but I insisted I’d be fine as I just wanted to sleep anyway. I didn’t want Jayden to worry when he didn’t see either one of us at the game. He knew I was sick, but Jeff would of still attended and so I wanted things to stay as normal as possible for them. We said our good-byes and I rode in an ambulance to the hospital. I was at the free-standing Methodist ER and so they had to transport me to the actual hospital. Thankfully, I hadn’t been in an ambulance since I was a young girl when I wrecked my bicycle, so I didn’t really know what to expect but I certainly didn’t except that bumpy of a ride. I’m grateful I had pain meds via IV prior to the ride. The paramedics were great. Super friendly and professional. I felt like I was in good hands, it was just a little bumpy.

I get to the hospital and into my room and honestly, I just want to sleep. My sweet nurse comes in and gets me admitted. This took a while which seemed like forever. Not only because there were a ton of questions, but we hit it off and couldn’t stay focused to get through all the questions. Another nurse came in and hooked me up to a heart monitor. Oh yea, in the ER I was having Afib so now I had to wear a heart monitor. She told me that I’d be receiving IV fluids and that the doctor would be in later to evaluate me.

I was freezing but they wouldn’t give me a blanket because my fever was so high. Matter of fact, I had ice packs on the back of my neck and forehead because it was so high. As soon as it would break, I’d be a sweaty mess. I tried to rest but was feeling miserable.
The doctor came in and asked me a couple of questions. I didn’t really have the energy to ask him questions, I didn’t even know what to ask to be honest. He said I’d be there for a couple of days for IV antibiotics and fluids.

During shift change at 7 pm, my day nurse and my new night nurse were in the room with me and my day nurse was giving her a report on me. She said, “Mrs Dailey was brought in Sepsis……”. SEPSIS? What the…….!!?? I recalled them saying in the ER that they were testing me for this, but they didn’t say any more about it, so I didn’t think any more about it. I wasn’t freaking out, mostly because I was just too sick to freak out, but I was confused. Why didn’t they tell me this? Is this why the doctor wanted me admitted? Jeff arrived within the hour and so I mentioned this to him, and he said that when I was getting a CT scan at the ER the nurse came in and said the results for Sepsis were negative and so we didn’t’ have to worry about that. Whew, big relief but why would they say this? I kind of blew it off for the moment because I wanted to talk to Jeff and see how Jayden’s game was, see how Taryn was doing and how she took the news that I wouldn’t be home for a few days. I hate being away from them! I was tired and so was Jeff. He headed home I tried to get some sleep.

The pain meds they gave me at the ER had worn off by this time, so I requested more. I also requested to speak to the charge nurse about this Sepsis diagnosis. She explained to me that Sepsis is in my chart as they didn’t know exactly what was going on and because of all the tests that they ran over at the ER, that’s the “category” I was placed in. My lab work for Sepsis was negative! Matter of fact, all my labs were good, all my organs are functioning properly, and My CT scan was clear as was my chest x-ray.

Now I feel much better! I know how dangerous Sepsis can be, I had an uncle pass from it. I try to sleep, but I can’t. It’s like I can’t turn my brain off. Here are the messages I typed in my notes to keep Jeff updated on my night. I started to update them to be “appropriate”, but this is me.

11:00 I can’t sleep. My eyes won’t even stay closed. It’s like this clock is right beside my head.
11:45 If I turn the TV back on I might be able to go to sleep but it’s so bright, I don’t want to turn it back on.
12:15 Just got more Tylenol. Still trying to sleep.
12:45 Nurse just came in to take my vitals again. BP 103/65 temp 101.5.
1:15 I thought I went to sleep and slept for several hours, turns out it was only 10 minutes. Now I have to pee. But it’s freezing in here and I don’t want to get on the bed.
1:45 I turned in the bed and my IV line got pinched and the machine started going crazy and beeping at me. LOL
2:00 this is BS!!! Why can’t I sleep😬! And the cold sweats have started again 😫 and I swear this loud ass clock is about to get tossed out the damn window.
2:45 they must’ve given me something that doesn’t allow me to sleep. I never have a problem sleeping.
3:00 nurse just came in and did vitals again. BP 115/70😳😳. High for me. Temp 99.9. Another round of Tylenol and Toradol.
3:45 Went from freezing to completely burning up. Ice pack on my head and on the back of my neck. I just want to sleep!
4:00 why did I agree to this??
4:15 back to positive thinking. Going to talk to myself about relaxing my mind and muscles to try and sleep.
6:00 Hallelujah I slept. The nurse just came in to give me my morning meds and to draw blood and give me new bag of fluid.


It’s now Wednesday morning….
My fever is still spiking every couple of hours and I get terrible cold sweats and then I’m burning up and feel like I’m on fire. It’s the craziest thing. Other than that, and the pain I have in my lower back, I was feeling ok. I wasn’t as dizzy and wasn’t as confused per se. Jeff arrived around 8:30 and hung out with me all morning. He worked from the hospital while I rested and chilled. My nurse was great. She came into my room once and was sniffing the air. “What’s that?... What IS that?” We shared with her that we’d just applied essential oils and she explained that she’s been stuffed up today but as soon as she came into my room she opened up and could breathe better. She called another nurse who was also under the weather and told her to come in there. Before I knew it, I’d talked to 6 nurses about essential oils. Some knew about them and some didn’t. I can’t wait to share more with them.

I had a few visitors this day which was really nice. It not only helped pass some time, but it’s good for the soul to chat with girlfriends. I really do have great friends. My friend, the nurse I mentioned before, has been such a great help through this whole process. She understands my oily side and I respect her medical knowledge. I kept her informed of every step and she was able to further explain things to me when I needed it.

The doctor finally came in around 1:30 pm and told me they are treating me for a kidney infection. Even though my lab work doesn't show an infection (likely masked from the antibiotics I took..see, I knew I shouldn't have taken them!! LOL - I'm kidding people!!), and all my tests have come back in a good way, all the symptoms point to a kidney infection. This was not the same doctor as yesterday however, he said the same thing as the other doctor in that I’ll be here a few days as they need to administer the antibiotics by IV and monitor my heart. He also said that it seems like I may have had this infection for quite some time as kidney infections don’t just pop up and become this severe overnight. Through out the day, I did start to feel like I was feeling better. At some point this day, I asked my nurse if I could get a new IV. The original one was in the bend of my arm and each time I bent my arm for more than 2 seconds; the IV machine would start beeping. The nurses finally showed me how to reset the machine myself because it was constantly going off. The charge nurse tried to start a new IV in my arm, but after digging around for a few minutes to hit the vein I surrendered and said it would be ok to just leave it where it is. I know this was an inconvenience to them, but it was also an inconvenience to me having it where it was (have you ever tried wiping with your non-dominant hand??).

I was texting with some of my friends in a group chat and one of them, who lives in Washington State, said she wished she could surprise me by walking in the door. I told her I’d probably have a heart attack if that happened. Then, within a couple of minutes, there was a knock on the door and in walked our dear friends who live like 2 hours away! Although it wasn’t my friend all the way from Washington, it was just as awesome to see this lovely couple. And it still almost gave me a heart attack (I bet my heart monitor was going crazy). The timing was absolutely perfect. She is also on this group chat and so she knew it was going to give me a heart attack and she loves me so much that she snuck up on me anyway 😊. They happened to be in the same hospital visiting another family member and took time to come a few floors up to see me. It really meant so much to me. Again, the timing was so perfect. Although not the best circumstances, it was so great to see their faces and catch up with them.

This is also the day I got to see my sweet Taryn! Jeff picked her up from school and brought her up to see me before she went to church and dance. She ate dinner with me and we played a card game before she had to leave to go to church. This was the first time since Sunday that I really felt like eating something. Hospital food has come a long way. I wouldn’t say it was great but it has certainly improved.

At 5:45, right before they were about to leave, my fever spiked again. I had gone about 5 hours without a fever. They left and I tried to rest. I turned on the tv and watched some HGTV. The shakes started and soon after I was burning up and sweat was rolling again. Another friend came around 8:00 and we visited for a couple of hours. During this time, more nurses came in asking about essential oils. The good thing is that she was prepared and actually had some samples with her. I only had business cards! By the time she left, I felt like I might be able to get some sleep. I oiled up, put Serenity in my diffuser and cut the lights. I was determined to sleep… wishful thinking.

Again, I kept some notes for Jeff so he’d know how my night went.
11:00 was oiled up and ready for bed. Heard the nurses out there so assumed they were on their way in here. It had been a while.
11:30 tired so I decided to go to sleep even though she hadn’t come back in yet.
12 nurse comes in to take vitals, running fever again.
12:30 naturally, can’t go to sleep. Shivers and shakes start. I try to fight it but I can’t. It’s also very light in here so even though I’m freezing I decide to get up and close the blinds, go potty.
1:00 I called the nurse and asked for socks a blanket and some pain medication.
1:30 she brings in the blanket and socks and tosses them on my lap. She watches me as I struggle to unravel the blanket and get it over my legs. As my IV monitor goes off 4 times because I was bending my arms, this one just stands there over me waiting for me to finish. She administers the pain medication. She also gives me Tylenol for my fever that was an hour and a half ago. This is the only time I saw the RN the entire shift.
1:31 going to try to sleep.
2:00 whelp.. that didn’t work out for me. Now I’m burning up so much I had to take my socks off and get out from covers, Drink as much ice water as I could possibly get and put the ice packs back on my head and neck.
2:15 decided to watch tv again. Court shows are funny.
3:00 I’m so hot I decide to put ice from my cup into my bag. Oops. I spilled the bag!! The plus side, it cooled me off a little bit.😂😂
4:30 tv off. Going to try and sleep
6:00 nurse came for vitals. Woke up completely soaked from head to toe.
7:00 cafeteria called to see what I wanted for breakfast. WT………. I’m up... I’m UPP!!!



Thursday
The doctor was in at 7:10. He said that my white blood count has greatly improved. He wants to monitor me for at least another 24 hours, so it looks like I might be able to go home tomorrow. He said if I could commit to drinking 2.5 L of water a day, I can get the IV out. Considering it’s the reason I can’t use my right arm (and texting with my left takes 17,226 times longer)... I decided to commit to any amount to get it out. He came in so early that I wasn’t prepared with any questions yet. Yesterday he didn’t come until after 1:00. Plus, he told me yesterday that I had to be fever free for 24 hours to be released and considering I had a fever again at 4:00 this morning I just assumed that set me back longer. So there I sat, in a gown that was soaked from head to toe from the fever breaking, just waiting for my husband with some soap and shampoo so I could take a shower.

Jeff arrived around 9:00 and I felt good enough to take a shower. It was a nice relief to have the heart monitor removed (and thankfully didn’t have to be put back on it) and nice to have the IV disconnected. I had lots of visitors this day (9 to be exact), starting with out dear Pastor. I literally had visitor one after another all day. From 11 am – 8 pm, I had someone in my room with me. I was just thankful that I felt good enough to have this many visitors. My Mother-in-Love brought me some flowers and my coworker brought us Poke! One of my friends that came by I hadn’t seen in like 6 months. We had a lot to catch up on. I stayed fever free for 12 hours this day! At noon, I needed my antibiotis again and so they needed to hook me back up to the IV. Unfortunately, it had stopped working and when they tried to flush it, all the fluid went running down my arm. The nurse had to start a new one. I’ve ALWAYS had good veins (people always tell me I have good ones, they don’t move, and they are plump). I don’t ever recall ever being stuck more than one time for anyone to take blood or start an IV, but this nurse stuck me 4 times to try and get a new one started. OUCH! Finally, it was in and I was so relieved to have it in a better location. Since I wasn’t able to drink the amount of water they needed me to drink, they also started the IV fluids again.

Jeff brought Taryn up again after school. He was asked to bowl this night and so I insisted he go do that. He won’t admit it to me, but I know he’s been stressed and worried about me. Again, at 5:45 my fever spiked again. So annoying! Jeff left Taryn there with me for an hour until Jayden could come. Finally, I got to see my boy! I hadn’t seen him since Sunday evening. He had a team dinner (that we were co-hosting) after practice but came up to see me after that. We played cards and talked about his senior schedule (course selection was due the following day). I can NOT believe we are already talking about senior year. He had homework and Taryn needed to get to bed and so they took off around 8:00 but only after hitting up the lounge to get some apple juice and graham crackers. Methodist hospital has the BEST apple juice. I don’t really care for apple juice but this was some GOOOD apple juice. I must have had 14-20 during my stay (you know, the tiny little cups that are like 2 oz each). I ordered apple juice for every meal and drank at least one that they brought to me. Most days I drank both of them.

I did get a bit of sleep this night! The nurses didn’t come in every few hours as they have been. I think I slept for 4 hours! The most I've had in a week!

Friday Update
The nurse took my vitals at 6 am and again, I had a fever of 101. I was disappointed that I was still spiking a fever as I was ready to go home. During shift change, at 7 am, the night nurse says to my new day nurse that I’m here for Sepsis. I had to interrupt and say I thought the lab results for that was negative. The nurse explained how even though the lab results showed negative for Sepsis that I was so sick and had such a high fever that that’s what I was diagnosed with and that’s what they’re treating me for. I said that the doctor told me he was treating me for a kidney infection. They looked at each other and didn’t really know what to say. Then, they went on to say how dangerous Sepsis is and how it’s so deadly so “we’re just trying to keep you alive and keep you from losing a limb”. I was so confused. I was already told that I was NOT being treated for Sepsis but now I’m being told again that I am.

The doctor came in shortly after that conversation and I was prepared to ask him about this.
He immediately told me that I’m unable to go home as I was still running a fever. I was going about 12 hours fever free so there is definitely improvement. I asked him about Sepsis and he said “Absolutely! Yes, you have Sepsis. You are very ill”. He went on to explain how I have bacteria in my blood and that is Sepsis. He explained the very wide spectrum of Sepsis and how they need to get ahead of this before it gets worse. Again he told me if I can stay fever free (less than 100), I can go home tomorrow.

My mind went every direction. I completely lost it the second he went out the door. I ugly cried for an hour. I called Jeff bawling, then called my Mom. I was upset that I couldn’t go home, I miss my family. Upset that I felt like I got the runaround although everyone has been so nice, and I feel like I received the best treatment. I was exhausted from basically not sleeping more than an hour or two a day for more than six days (except for the night before).

My nurse came in and saw how upset I was. She sat with me and explained to me that basically anyone with an infection/bacteria in blood is diagnosed with Sepsis these days. Sepsis is a general term and diagnosis, so they don’t miss anything and so the body doesn’t go into septic shock. She said I was/am very ill but I’m not dying (hallelujah). They just needed to get ahead of it, so it doesn’t go that route (which is exactly what the doctor said). She continued to say how I am getting better each day and my labs have proven that (although they haven’t taken any blood from me since Wednesday morning).
This also explains why the doctor was so nonchalant about it this morning. To him, basically everyone in this hospital has Sepsis. Not really… but that’s the only way I can wrap my head around it.

I knew Jeff was on his way, so I figured I’d just update him when he arrived. I had calmed down by this point and was so thankful for this nurse. I had good nurses all week, but there was something different about this one. She took time to explain and she truly cared. She popped in on me throughout the day just to see how I was doing. The other nurses did NOT do this.

My friend text me on her way to visit and asked me if I wanted something from Starbucks. Thank you Lord for good friends! Yes please! She arrived just in time for the next round of drama. We visited for a long time. I hadn’t seen her in months and we also had a lot to catch up on.

I knew Jeff had arrived at the hospital, but he never came into the room. I text him and he said he was talking to the charge nurse… Ut-ohhhh. He was out there with them for at least 45 minutes before coming into the room. I guess I should have called him and filled him in on what my sweet nurse explained to me. He came in and said “oh, I talked to your charge nurse and she said you don’t have Sepsis”. I looked at him and said "I am done talking about Sepsis. I don’t even care anymore if I have it or not!!" He went on to explain how the charge nurse (probably the same one that told me earlier in the week), looked at all my charts and labs and can confidently say that I do not have Sepsis. Jeff said to her “I want to talk to the doctor”, so she called the doctor. Jeff talked to the doctor and the doctor tells him that I DO have Sepsis. SERIOUSLY people, get it together. Can two people just please get on the same page? The doctor also explained to him (just like my sweet RN explained to me) that there is a wide range of Sepsis and although I’m not at the dangerous side of it, meaning I’m not in septic shock, it’s certainly something to get ahead of to ensure it doesn’t worsen. The fever spikes alone were something to be concerned about but adding in the massive headache, kidney pain, etc. I can understand why the doctor wanted to keep an eye on me.

Later in the day, another friend stopped by that I hadn’t seen in months and we were able to catch up. Jayden had another basketball game tonight so Jeff went to that. I missed a great game. Not only did he get to play a lot, he had a 3-pointer. This may not seem like a big deal to you but this coach doesn't let him dribble or shoot so the fact that he took the shot was big and to see that he made it was huge! I'm so proud of him. Once the game finished, I knew Jeff and Taryn would come see me. To my surprise, in walked Jayden too! Jeff talked to the coach before the game and asked if he’d make an exception and allow Jayden to leave after the game. Not only did he make an exception but he (the coach), also prayed for me with the team before the game during their prayer time. I think he's a good guy. I'll keep my opinion to myself on the kind of coach I think he is. We all played cards and of course they made a trip down the hall to get some apple juice! They stayed until 9:30 or so and I was feeling really tired. At this point I was running 99.9, but thankfully that isn’t considered a fever, so I was still in the clear for getting to go home the next day. My peppermint essential oil brought that right down and so I was able to get some rest. I closed the blinds, oiled up, took my serenity and copaiba soft gels (that Jeff remembered to bring me), filled up my diffuser and hit the lights. I was able to sleep a good 5-6 hours this night. The nurses only came in a little before midnight and again at 6 am for my vitals.

Saturday
I’m going home today regardless if they release me or not. I have a get-a-way car planned and my bff said she’d she’d help me escape.
Being that it’s Saturday, the doctor didn’t come until after 9:00. He was happy that I hadn’t ran a fever and that I was feeling better. He said I can go home!!!!!!!!!! He also apologized for all the confusion around Sepsis. I called Jeff and he and Taryn headed to the hospital. They were about to leave to head that way anyway, but this put a little extra pep in their step. My nurse came in to remove my IV (same sweet RN that I had yesterday) and we talked for a while about some things we have in common. I told her how awesome she was and that she was the only RN I had during those 5 days that went above and beyond treating everyone equal. One day earlier in the week I’d asked my RN for another pillow. She said “oh, I don’t do that, I’ll call the PCA to get you one”. I really hated to bother them with this anyway, but I’d already asked so not much I could do now. The PCA cheerfully comes in, opens the cabinet by the TV and pulls out a pillow. If you can just imagine the look on my face. First of all, had I of know the pillow was right there I would have grabbed it myself. Second, why did the RN have to call the PCA when she could have taken 4 steps and opened the cabinet herself?! Instead she said “I don’t do that…” I shared this with my sweet RN and she just couldn’t believe that the things she did were above and beyond, so I went ahead and shared the blanket story with her. At this time, my current PCA came into the room again and agreed that she is the only RN that treats the PCAs with respect and doesn’t talk down to them. Just that morning, after I had finished breakfast this same PCA was taking my vitals and my RN said to me “oh I’ll take your tray if you are finished”. I agreed that I was finished. The PCA said “oh no, I got it”. The RN said “no girl, I’ll take it, you are busy!” The PCA was so grateful and explained to her that other RNs do not do that. She told her that she is the only one that does work that is not her job. Miss Laura was an exceptional RN!

I packed up the few remaining items I had there. Jeff and the kids took most of it home the night before because I wasn’t going to be able to escape with 6 bags if the doctor had told me I needed to stay another day. By 11:30 am I was H-O-M-E!

What a week! I’m still recovering and taking it easy. Jeff is not letting me do a thing around here. I did manager to go to the office today for a few hours but that was all I could handle. By 10:30 I felt exhausted and came home.

From all the conversations with the nurses and doctors at the hospital we know now that it was probably a kidney infection all along and I should’ve been taking a different antibiotic from the start. When I went to the ER the first time, I likely was already showing signs of Sepsis but they never would have known because they didn’t do any lab work. In the hospital, they said, without saying, that they should’ve done more tests in the ER that first time.Thankfully, I am OK, I will make a full recovery and that is all that matters.

Somewhere through all of this I looked at Jeff and reminded him that we dropped our health insurance coverage this year. Not really the coverage actually, only the amount we pay monthly and the deductible. We were paying a ridiculous amount each month to have the insurance but none of us have been sick or gone to the doctor (besides thyroid check ups or something urgent like a concussion) in years and so we thought there no need to pay so much each month. We had a $3,500.00 deductible for our coverage and now we pay a little each month but have a $15,000.00 deductible. Of all years to try and save some money out of pocket. Oops! Praying the hospital fairies will be generous to us.

I really do take many positive things away from this experience. I’ve been able to learn more about Sepsis, the kidneys, the urinary tract and the bladder... Information I wouldn’t know if this hadn’t of happened to me. I wouldn’t say I’m grateful for this experience, but it’s been a test of my strength (I’m a total wuss you know) and has encouraged me to dig deeper into my health journey.

I’ll follow up with a Chinese Medicine Doctor this week as well as my primary care physician. For now, I’m so happy to have slept in my own bed and showered in my big beautiful shower that has amazing water pressure and hot water. I’m talking the antibiotics as also supporting myself with many different essential oils. I’m taking Melissa and Tangerine every 2 hours internally and applying many others topically. I will completely heal from this!

Thank you for reading my journey!





Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019!!


I’ve always been an open book, especially in my blog, however so many things in 2018 were things I didn’t share publicly. I’ve never been one to share everything about every day of my life through Facebook or other social media posts, but I have always been quite open here. That said, I’m more reserved these days in my writing as the kids are older now and I want to respect their privacy.

As you already know, 2018 started out emotional as Kiarra moved to Dallas to attend CFNI. Her moving away was hard on me, it was hard on all of us. I always knew it would be hard and that I’d be sad, but I never thought I’d be the parent that would basically fall apart and struggle to breathe. She was only 4 hours away, yet it felt like a million. Each time she’d come home and then leave again, I felt a part of my heart breaking and aching.  I was (and still am) so proud of her and her obedience to the Lord for following the direction He laid out for her. She is learning more about Him and growing into an independent young lady right before my eyes.

Jayden had an exciting start to the year, he got his drivers license!!  There is something wonderful about having children who can drive. His Grandfather was generous and gave him his Toyota 4 Runner and so he lucked out with not having to pay for his own vehicle. Soon after, he started driving to school and having more independence. From what I’ve seen and heard, he’s a good driver. 

Taryn started dancing again and it’s almost like she never missed a day, let alone years. She is such a beautiful dancer. We absolutely love this dance studio.  They only dance to appropriate music and their costumes for recital are modest (and gorgeous).  She did ballet and jazz and had a wonderful teacher (who happened to graduate with Kiarra).  Taryn had a dance recital in May and it was so great. The entire production was well organized and beautifully done. Over the summer she took a couple of dance classes and now she’s doing Jazz, Hip Hop and Contemporary. She just performed in the winter recital.

Our Life Group kicked off again and we welcomed a new family. Jeff and I really enjoy hosting and facilitating this group each Sunday in our home. We have a time of study and we all share a meal together. With Kiarra being away at college we knew it was going to be a bit challenging to sort out what to do with the kids. Thankfully, Jayden and Taryn assured us they’d be able to handle them and they did.  Even if they mostly watched movies or played games, the kids were taken care of and that’s all that matters.

My grandfather passing away in March was tough. He was my last living grandparent and someone I greatly respected. My husband loved him like he was his own and Grandpa treated Jeff like he was his own Grandson. To sum it up, this is what I shared at the funeral:
Good Morning, For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Trina and I’m Grandpa Duane’s 8th grandchild and the daughter of Marilyn.
Last night, my cousin Kari shared a lot of great memories with and about Grandpa. Being the youngest of the 9 grandchildren, and so close in age, we were glued at the hip at all family gatherings, the fishing trips to the lake and all the great times at the hotel and we share all the same memories. Instead of sharing all the same memories again, I’d like to share some that my children have had that I’ve been fortunate to witness.
We live in Texas and my children love coming to Iowa. We always stay at Grandpa’s house. Matter of fact, he wouldn’t have it any other way. In the summers my children loved helping their Great Grandpa in the garden and in the winter, they loved helping him scoop snow.  Well, Jayden loved to help, the girls liked to watch and just play in the snow.
They spent hours upon hours sitting at the kitchen table playing Skip-bo, keeping an eye on Grandpa so he wouldn’t play out of turn.
They’d sit and watch his old westerns with him and get the biggest kick out of his reactions like it was the first time he’d seen the episode (and we all know it was likely the 100th time he’d watched it).
Most days we’d wake up and they’d ask, “where’s Grandpa?” “Oh, he’s out hauling cattle” Mom would say… Or “he’s out mowing for so and so.”  They have seen an incredible work ethic from this man that I am so very fortunate to have as my Grandpa.
Taryn’s favorite memory with him is getting him to smile. In the past few years he didn’t smile as much as he once did, and it was her mission to get him to laugh and smile. She had a way of accomplishing each time.
Jayden’s favorite memory is tilling the garden with Grandpa in preparation for planting his famous corn, tomatoes and radishes.
Kiarra’s favorite memory is playing cards, specifically Skip-bo.
I’m fortunate that my children had the opportunity to know and love their great Grandpa and vice versa. He not only loved them, but he loved my husband.  He accepted him with open arms and we joked that he loved Jeff more than he loved me. Years ago, before his health declined, my husband would have a hot breakfast waiting for him each morning when we’d visit. Jeff would say over and over “I don’t want anything Grandpa”, but Grandpa wasn’t having it. He insisted that Jeff have eggs, bacon, and toast. Grandpa was a very kind and caring man. Selfless and just awesome!  We’ll miss you grandpa.

May was another tough month. Kiarra came home Mother’s Day weekend and poured her heart out to me. She shared with me that she had a large burden on her shoulders and that it was time to make a big decision. This didn’t come easy and certainly wasn’t taken lightly. After 2.5 years of dating Harvey, it was time to end the relationship. There was no fight or falling out. She was being obedient to what she heard in her prayer time. She fought it for months because she didn’t want to do it but the time had come where the burden was so heavy she was no longer herself. She wept… we wept together. These two had talked about marriage and he had already asked us for her hand in marriage. We loved him and his family. This wasn’t only hard on her and then on him, it was hard on all of us. It’s taken faith to get us through this time. There really isn’t a way to understand it, we stand on our trust in the Lord. We stand on His steadfast love for each one of us. We stand on the faith we have in Jesus.  

The school year was over before we knew it and it was SUMMER! My co-worker was going on maternity leave in the middle of June and so I was going to be holding the fort down on my own here in the US. This also meant that if we were going to take a family vacation that we needed to do it immediately.  We settled on making a quick trip to South Padre Island. We had a great time at the beach and out on the water on the excursions we took. We all thought we were going to love snorkeling, but it was not as awesome as we thought it would be.  Other than that, I recommend this place for a quick vacation. We enjoyed the dolphin watching excursion as well as the sunset dinner cruise. We ate super delicious seafood and took advantage of the pool at our condo.

We returned from vacation and Jayden started working as a life guard.  We kept telling him to have the best summer ever and he certainly did. It landed him in some trouble, but he had fun while it lasted.  During these trials, the Lord was really working in us and with the help of our Pastors and friends we walked through some situations. It’s so hard as a parent to know when to show tough love, when to show grace and when to discipline. It’s hard to decide a punishment for a teenager who is, 98.5% of the time, a really great kid.  Do you take their car away?  Phone?  What if they need their phone to work?  Can’t take everything away… or can you?  We did.  We screwed up, we disciplined harshly, sometimes raising our voices and losing control, we showed grace, we loved very tough and sometimes not tough enough. Through it all, I was so very grateful for God’s grace over my mistakes in parenting. I am quick to seek forgiveness when I have wronged someone, especially my husband and children. I’m still learning how to parent these beautiful children that the Lord has blessed us with.  As we go through the ups and downs of life, we need His grace. Just as He gives us grace, we must also give our children grace. They were born sinners. They were sinning before they even knew what a sin was. We all sin. We all must seek forgiveness for our sins and thankfully we are forgiven.

Kiarra was in Dallas most of the summer due to commitments at school. As part of her program, she worked two different camps on campus. One was for little kids during KFN where she got to teach them to bake (which is right up her alley) and the other was with pre-teens where she was one of their counselors.

Tamia had a birthday in July and we asked if we could take her to dinner to celebrate. She said YES! She picked the restaurant and we drove down and had dinner. Although it was just “dinner”, it was so much more than that to us. It was the beginning to the repairing of our relationship with her. We had a great time and really enjoyed hanging out with her and she seemed to really enjoy hanging with us again too.  In August she went off to college and she assured us that she’d be spending thanksgiving with us (and she did).

The girls and I took a trip to Iowa before school started. My Mom and her sisters needed help getting ready for the estate sale and then needed help during the actual sale. Jayden had football so couldn’t go with us. It was a long and exhausting week but so glad we were there to help and be part of it.  On our way home, we dropped Kiarra off in Dallas and we returned just in time for school to start. It was back to setting alarm clocks, busy schedules and late night homework. But it also meant football games, family dinners and structure.

In September Jeff and I went to Utah for the annual doTERRA convention. We hadn’t taken a trip, just the two of us, since our honeymoon. We had a great time and are looking forward to going again this year. We learned an overwhelming amount of information and enjoyed all the presenters and entertainers (especially Hugh Jackman). We heard first hand about all the new oils and products and all the wonderful things doTERRA is doing around the globe. Truly changing the lives of millions.

We hosted Thanksgiving again this year. Jeff’s parents, brother and family, cousin and our friends were all here and we shared a delicious meal. Something very secretive was going and I soon realized Jeff had something up his sleeve.  Behind my back he pulled each person to the side and privately presented them with a Blessing. I had no idea he was doing this. It’s just another reason I love him so much!  Once he was finished, he gathered everyone together and presented a Blessing to Tamia, Kiarra, Jayden, Taryn and then me (best for last - hahaha). It was an incredible evening. Having Tamia here with us for Thanksgiving allowed us to reconnect in a new beautiful way that only God could have orchestrated. And we just spend an incredible 3 days with her and our other children playing games, watching movies and eating. I thank God for those 3 days.

December could be it’s own very long blog post. To sum it up, I’ve been on the struggle bus. Parenting has tested every cell of patience.  I’m not questioning my faith, but I have certainly questioned other things. I’ve questioned my parenting, my discipline, my ability to manage our finances, my friendships, my career, etc. Christmas was heavy this year. It was different, not only was it the first one without Grandpa, but I was carrying so many burdens. I couldn’t shake some of them. It didn’t matter how much I prayed, my brain was a whirlwind of confusion and chaos. I couldn’t even get one prayer out before I was word vomiting a million other prayers and allowing my mind to drift.  Through each prayer, I'd be consumed of other deaths or be reminded of life's happenings. My cousins wife passed away a week prior to Christmas. Our friends from church lost their baby boy just 5 days before Christmas (who have shown more faith than anyone I've ever seen in my entire life after such loss).  A guy I grew up with passed away on Christmas Eve in a tragic car accident.  I knew, without her even saying, that Kiarra was struggling to figure out how to pay for college next semester as she doesn’t have enough to cover the down payment. Jayden has been struggling to make good choices and things with sports have been frustrating. My Mom’s house is under construction and I hate seeing her live like that. I was so grateful that the new toilets and showers were working in the new bathrooms, but the house is just a hot mess. Renovations take time, I get it but I just hate seeing it like that.  Taryn didn’t even want to go to Iowa this year because she didn’t want to have to say goodbye to her Grandma again. Taryn heart has been burdened by some choices of loved ones. She takes things very personal as if someone is intentionally sinning to hurt her and so I had conversations with her about how sin starts at birth and how it’s part of life.  This conversation wrecked me. She simply can’t understand why someone would want to make bad choices, especially when those choices hurt other people.  My niece recently moved out of state and I’m concerned for her.  I don’t share a handful of the long list of burdens for sympathy or even empathy. I share because I, just like many of you, have many burdens on our hands at any given time.  My heart was burdened with so many things I could barely enjoy time with the family. I let the enemy steal my joy. My head was filled with conversations that soon needed to happen with our children, with friends, with other loved ones.  My prayers never stopped, it felt like I was always praying (which isn’t a bad thing).  I don’t for a second doubt that we are on this journey for a reason. I know He has brought us to it and He will bring us through it. I know that He is good and faithful and abundant. I know that He is Lord of all and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can separate us from his love.  And I also know that these things are small compared to other burdens people are carrying. I don’t think mine are greater than anyone else’s and again, I only share to let someone else know that they are not alone in the gazillion burdens they are carrying. There is hope in Father.

2019 is going to be a big year for our family. I’m excited to grow my relationship with the Lord and grow my business.  I’m ready to take each bump in the road with grace and faith. And I’m really excited for the big milestones in our party of 6.
  • Kiarra will be 20 in February, no longer a teenager.
  • I will be 40 in May.
  • Jayden will be 18 in June.
  • Tamia will be 21 in July.
  • Jeff and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary in September.
  • Taryn will be 13 in November, another teenager in the house.
I’m ready for 2019!  I’m ready to pray more and worry less.