It's been on my mind...

Well, here we are again, 6 months later… I just can’t find time to devote to this blog. I really do think about it all the time and then I get busy with other things.

The first half of the year was rough. Thankfully, the second half hasn’t been as harsh. 

Summer flew by as always.  The kids kept busy with camps and other activities. They all attended a camp with our church which was nice. I love seeing their walk with the Lord. I love summer because we don’t have to worry about homework, bedtimes, getting up early, etc. Our summer schedules can get a bit crazy too with camps, practice, games, etc. but it’s just better knowing they don’t have to deal with the homework and all that.  We managed to sneak in a small vacation this year. Jeff’s parents gifted us with a free week of using their timeshare so we headed to Florida for a week.  It was a really nice get-a-way. We spent time at the amusement parks, eating out and meeting family. Jeff’s Uncle lives there and the kids and I had never met him so we made arrangements to get together and it was great. They have kids right around the same age as our kids so they all hit it off and had someone to chill with too.  We were not home from that vacation long when the girls and I decided to drive to Iowa to surprise my Mom. I was missing her so much and just needed to see my Mama!  The surprise was a success and we had a great time visiting her. I hate it that she is so far away now but I understand her need to be here to care for her Dad.

Before we knew it, school was starting again and the day to day hustle and bustle was in full effect.  The kids were doing homework until midnight each night and I started to feel the pressure and stress of having 2 kids in high school, a senior and a freshman and one in 4^th grade.  I’m grateful that 2 of them are in the same school this year. The past couple of years of having 3 kids in 3 different schools have been challenging.

How do I have a senior in high school?  How did this happen? How did she grow up so fast? I feel like I missed out on so much of her life yet I’ve been here every day. There were definitely times I let my job take over my life and I worked too much, spent too much time at the office and working from the kitchen table at home but I was still around. I still saw here every day (unless I was traveling, which wasn’t that often), so really… how did this happen?  And how is the first semester of her senior year already over?? How do you Moms handle this???  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved seeing her grow into the young woman she has become. I love her heart for the Lord and for people. She is kind and compassionate, thoughtful and so caring. She loves her siblings and would literally die for them. She is there to cheer Jayden along at all his events and helps Taryn with all her home training gymnastics and dances.  She takes them to eat, roller skating and wherever they want to go because she loves them.  I LOVE that she loves them. I love that they are all so close and can tell each other everything. I love that she leads them in prayer.  She’s an amazing young lady and I love her more than I thought my heart was even capable of… I just don’t understand why time has to be going by so fast…  Her job is going good. She was an infant instructor at a swim academy but unfortunately the chlorine was too much for her eczema so she had to give that up to be a deck monitor (basically a life guard).  The money isn’t as good as being the instructor and they cut her hours but she still likes it.

And then, how the heck is Jayden a freshman in high school? My tall and handsome only son… He is growing up too fast too. He’s such a great kid!  Always making us laugh, even when I’m so mad at him he has this way of making me laugh. He keeps the mood light and has the best one-liners.  He’s a great athlete and born to entertain.  We had a tough football season this year. We had some amazing players but those coaches made some really bad play decisions. I don’t know that much about football so when I know it was a bad play that means it was really bad.  Our boys had the potential to go undefeated but our coaches really screwed that up for them. Referees didn’t help much either. One game they called so bad they came and apologized to our entire team the following day after watching the game. Unfortunately we didn’t get the W in that game.  Coaches are human, they make mistakes too but geez, it really seemed like they didn’t want to win the games. It was hard to watch. It was hard to see the defeat in the boys faces each time we’d lose knowing they could have won.  Basketball season has started and it seems to be the same thing.  Twice now we have been up by 20 points or more, once we ended up losing the game and other time we barely won. I just don’t get it. I know I’m not meant to understand everything and I need to turn these things over to the Lord but my goodness, why do coaches to this??!! And why do they have to scream at them? I’m all for coaches getting onto the boys when they mess up but to berate them, and tear them down by criticizing harshly while screaming at them in front of the entire gym is just ridiculous.  I know what you are thinking: “Mama Bear doesn’t want her tall and handsome only son being yelled at”… Well, Jayden hasn’t been yelled at in this way so I’m not referring to him. My heart goes out to the other kids on the team the coach has done this too. I think it’s uncalled for and unprofessional. It’s not the NBA! These coaches have an opportunity be a good influence on these young men. All I have to say is that I really miss our coach from last year!

And then there is Taryn, oh my sweet, spunky little firecracker. She has grown up so much this year. She has not only physically grown but has matured so much too. She is such a good helper and she loves the Lord with all her heart. She is quick to always tell me, “I love you Mommy but I love God more”. She loves kids and babies and has such a heart to care for them. She is going to be a great Mom one day (in 20 years).  She is still “bored and has nothing to do” since she isn’t involved in dance or sports. I’ve said for years that I need to get her enrolled in something. She has a natural talent in gymnastics but has a heart for dance so we will likely get her enrolled in that at the beginning of the year.  After having such a tough year at school the past two years from bullying and a terrible teacher, I am happy to say that she has amazing teachers this year and has had a great year so far. It hasn’t been perfect, and one boy is still trying to get under her skin, but it’s nothing compared to the last few years. She is doing great in all subjects and her reading has greatly improved.

Earlier this year, we met a couple with 2 small kids and we quickly became friends. We spend the majority of our Friday nights with them just hanging out.  This has been so good for my family but especially for me.  Babies are so therapeutic and during a time when I needed to cuddle a baby, here they were. God put them in our life for a reason and I am so very grateful for our friendship.  I have withdrawals when we don’t see them. As I type this, it’s been a full week since I’ve seen them and it seems like an eternity.

Jeff and I are still hosting a small group in our home each Sunday. I LOVE this!!  We currently have 6 couples and 18 kids each week. We have time for worshiping the Lord through music, a time for studying the Word through a video/book study and a time for breaking bread with these families that we consider family. This group has blessed us in so many ways. For years I’ve wanted to host (not lead) a small group but apparently He had other plans for us.  Thankfully I don’t have to lead it, Jeff gets to do that but I just love having family in my home each week, especially when we get to talk about the Lord and learn what He wants for us and the way in which He wants us go.  We are still grieving the loss of our friend Josh and talk about him and his family each week. We pray for them often and if you are a praying person, I’d like to ask you to pray for them during this holiday season, the first Christmas without him.

In September, Jeff’s best friend got married and Jeff had the honour of being the best man. The wedding was in New Orleans so he and I had an opportunity to escape there for the weekend. It was such a beautiful wedding and the reception was SOOOO much fun. I’d never been to a traditional New Orleans wedding so I am glad I was able to be there for it. It was likely our last trip there as his parents were in the middle of packing their house and moving to Houston.  Just a few weeks later, they were in Houston, just a few miles from us.  It’s great having them so close now.

I got sick over Thanksgiving and was pretty much down and out for a full week. It was brutal! Having a fever, as an adult, felt like death. For real, I thought I was dying and it wasn’t even that high of one, I think it was 101.3 at the highest but I seriously thought I was going to die. For days, I sat there thinking “I’m going to meet Jesus any moment”. I’m not joking; it crossed my mind multiple times. Jeff and the kids took such good care of me. They truly are the best.

My Grandfather isn’t doing well. His memory is worse by the day. We’ve been here for 4 days and he’s asked Jayden no less than 15 times if he plays basketball, how many points he has per game and what grade he’s in. He’s asked Kiarra just as many times when she graduates and if she is the same age as Jakob.  I’m so glad he knew who we all were (I’m not sure I would have been able to handle that). Each morning I ask him what he wants for breakfast and each time he tells me “oh, I don’t eat breakfast”.  I just chuckle because I know I made him breakfast yesterday, and the day before, etc.  At lunch we’ll ask him what he wants for lunch and he’ll say “well I haven’t eaten anything today but I don’t need anything”.  If I wasn’t here to have witnessed him eating breakfast, I’d think he hadn’t eaten all day. It breaks my heart. I hate this for him, for my kids, for me, for my Mom (and her sisters), all my cousins and everyone who loves him.

I’m excited to be home for Christmas again this year. I just love spending time with family and for my kids to spend time with all their cousins, big and small. This year is super special because we have new little tiny baby that I can’t wait to meet and cuddle.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I pray you have a very Merry Christmas!!

XOXO