Tomorrow, October 5 marks the 6th anniversary of Dad going to heaven. I always get into a bit of a funk this time of year and I don’t think it’s unusual but I’m starting to question how many years this will last. In 25 years, will I still get into a funk each October? Will there come a time that this day passes by and I don’t think of it? Would it be wrong to let this day go by and not be sad? I’m torn! I don’t want to be miserable but I don’t want to forget about it either. Everyone tells me to remember the good times and I do, that doesn’t make it easier, it actually may make it more difficult but I love reminiscing the good times.My favorite memories with Dad are:
Learning to ride a bike - he was the one in the back yard holding the back of the banana seat and encouraging me to “pedal” and “balance”. Where was he when I needed to learn to ride that 4-wheeler…
Wednesday night Volleyball – Every Wednesday night my parents would play volleyball with all the other old folks. Of course I realize now that they were all younger than what I am now but anyway… We’d always go with them and help set up and play basketball or volleyball while everyone was arriving. Teige and Talan would usually end up leaving and I’d have to walk home by myself and I’d be soooooo scared. It was only one block (up hill) but that was a long way for someone who was and still is scared of the dark. I hated that walk! One time, after 30 minutes or an hour of them playing, Dad came out of the school to smoke a cigarette and I was still sitting there on the steps. I’m pretty sure he yelled at me to get home but I don’t remember that. What I do remember is him telling me to hop on his back and he gave me a piggy back ride all the way home and made it back in time to play the next game. I wonder if he told my Mom he did that for me…
Shooting pool – I was 10 when my parents divorced and Dad lived in Soldier for the first few years. I would go stay with him on the weekends and my favorite thing to do was to go to the bar to shoot pool and drink Sarsaparilla Root Beer with him. He was pretty good at pool and would try to show me tricks. As I look back, I did love to play pool but what I needed was that one-on-one time with him. Now and then someone would be in there that would catch his attention for a few minutes but 99% of the time it was all about us spending time together. My brothers were off with their friends or sports so it was just the two of us and that time is now so precious to me.
Learning to play sports - since Dad coached my brother’s baseball team when they were younger, he thought he was an old pro and could teach me softball as well. “Elbow up, straighten your back, bend your knees, watch the ball, swing the bat!” I would get so frustrated with him, especially when he would be an umpire during my games and call a strike when I was batting and it would clearly be a ball! He taught me how to shoot a basketball and how to serve the volleyball. He was always there for my games and ready with glove in hand each time I mentioned playing catch.
Learning to drive - Dad was the one who took me to get my permit and let me drive home the same day. Of course I’d been driving around Moorhead for years, either as a little girl sitting on his lap or just straight up illegal to/from the gas station or store. After getting my permit, he’d let me drive everywhere…unless he was pissed at me for skipping school or doing something I shouldn’t of been doing. Everyone in the car had to wear a seatbelt, no excuses. I loved sitting at a stop sign for 20 seconds, he would be so irritated!
My wedding day – I was so grateful that Dad got to walk me down the isle on my wedding day. At the time, that day was very much taken for granted, but as I look back I am so fortunate and thankful he was here for that day. I tear up every time I hear Butterfly Kisses as this was our Father/Daughter dance song. It was so touching to see him cry when he first saw me in my wedding dress and how choked up he got when we were dancing. I’ll never forget he and Mom dancing too. It was a magical night.
Seeing him with my kids – Kiarra was 2 weeks old when I flew to Iowa for the family to see her. I couldn’t wait for Dad to see my blue eyed, black haired baby girl. After Jayden was born, we made the same trip up after just 3 weeks. Kiarra had him wrapped around her little finger in a flash. He loved his grandkids! Each time we made a trip back to Iowa before his passing we all looked forward to “Grandpa Terry” make his appearance at my Grandparents house. He’d be there at the crack of dawn and would never say no to the kids when they asked him to play. He’d be on the floor playing dolls with Kiarra or farm with Jayden. Most often he’d be sitting at the table with coffee at one side and a kid in his lap playing cards. If they wanted to go to the park, he’d take them! If they wanted to play baseball, he’d find a ball and bat and play baseball with them. He always did what they wanted to do. It didn’t matter what sports game was on or what the adults were gossiping about, he took time to play with them and they remember that! I regret that Taryn wasn’t able to meet her “Grampy” as she calls him.
It saddens me deeply that he won’t physically be here to see his Grandkids graduate from high school or college, get married, or meet his great grandkids but one thing is for sure… We serve a great God and I know that one day I’ll see my Daddy again. He has been watching over us for 6 years and since that night, that night that took his life, my life is truly better. I’m not happy that he’s not here with us but through his death there is life. I found God and through worshiping Him, my marriage got stronger, my parenting improved and Jeff and I were able to lead our kids to Christ!! It doesn’t get any better than that! Our entire outlook on life changed for the better. I miss my Dad more than words can express but I know we'll dance again to butterfly kisses...
Learning to ride a bike - he was the one in the back yard holding the back of the banana seat and encouraging me to “pedal” and “balance”. Where was he when I needed to learn to ride that 4-wheeler…
Wednesday night Volleyball – Every Wednesday night my parents would play volleyball with all the other old folks. Of course I realize now that they were all younger than what I am now but anyway… We’d always go with them and help set up and play basketball or volleyball while everyone was arriving. Teige and Talan would usually end up leaving and I’d have to walk home by myself and I’d be soooooo scared. It was only one block (up hill) but that was a long way for someone who was and still is scared of the dark. I hated that walk! One time, after 30 minutes or an hour of them playing, Dad came out of the school to smoke a cigarette and I was still sitting there on the steps. I’m pretty sure he yelled at me to get home but I don’t remember that. What I do remember is him telling me to hop on his back and he gave me a piggy back ride all the way home and made it back in time to play the next game. I wonder if he told my Mom he did that for me…
Shooting pool – I was 10 when my parents divorced and Dad lived in Soldier for the first few years. I would go stay with him on the weekends and my favorite thing to do was to go to the bar to shoot pool and drink Sarsaparilla Root Beer with him. He was pretty good at pool and would try to show me tricks. As I look back, I did love to play pool but what I needed was that one-on-one time with him. Now and then someone would be in there that would catch his attention for a few minutes but 99% of the time it was all about us spending time together. My brothers were off with their friends or sports so it was just the two of us and that time is now so precious to me.
Learning to play sports - since Dad coached my brother’s baseball team when they were younger, he thought he was an old pro and could teach me softball as well. “Elbow up, straighten your back, bend your knees, watch the ball, swing the bat!” I would get so frustrated with him, especially when he would be an umpire during my games and call a strike when I was batting and it would clearly be a ball! He taught me how to shoot a basketball and how to serve the volleyball. He was always there for my games and ready with glove in hand each time I mentioned playing catch.
Learning to drive - Dad was the one who took me to get my permit and let me drive home the same day. Of course I’d been driving around Moorhead for years, either as a little girl sitting on his lap or just straight up illegal to/from the gas station or store. After getting my permit, he’d let me drive everywhere…unless he was pissed at me for skipping school or doing something I shouldn’t of been doing. Everyone in the car had to wear a seatbelt, no excuses. I loved sitting at a stop sign for 20 seconds, he would be so irritated!
My wedding day – I was so grateful that Dad got to walk me down the isle on my wedding day. At the time, that day was very much taken for granted, but as I look back I am so fortunate and thankful he was here for that day. I tear up every time I hear Butterfly Kisses as this was our Father/Daughter dance song. It was so touching to see him cry when he first saw me in my wedding dress and how choked up he got when we were dancing. I’ll never forget he and Mom dancing too. It was a magical night.
Seeing him with my kids – Kiarra was 2 weeks old when I flew to Iowa for the family to see her. I couldn’t wait for Dad to see my blue eyed, black haired baby girl. After Jayden was born, we made the same trip up after just 3 weeks. Kiarra had him wrapped around her little finger in a flash. He loved his grandkids! Each time we made a trip back to Iowa before his passing we all looked forward to “Grandpa Terry” make his appearance at my Grandparents house. He’d be there at the crack of dawn and would never say no to the kids when they asked him to play. He’d be on the floor playing dolls with Kiarra or farm with Jayden. Most often he’d be sitting at the table with coffee at one side and a kid in his lap playing cards. If they wanted to go to the park, he’d take them! If they wanted to play baseball, he’d find a ball and bat and play baseball with them. He always did what they wanted to do. It didn’t matter what sports game was on or what the adults were gossiping about, he took time to play with them and they remember that! I regret that Taryn wasn’t able to meet her “Grampy” as she calls him.
It saddens me deeply that he won’t physically be here to see his Grandkids graduate from high school or college, get married, or meet his great grandkids but one thing is for sure… We serve a great God and I know that one day I’ll see my Daddy again. He has been watching over us for 6 years and since that night, that night that took his life, my life is truly better. I’m not happy that he’s not here with us but through his death there is life. I found God and through worshiping Him, my marriage got stronger, my parenting improved and Jeff and I were able to lead our kids to Christ!! It doesn’t get any better than that! Our entire outlook on life changed for the better. I miss my Dad more than words can express but I know we'll dance again to butterfly kisses...
Trina
ReplyDeleteI loved it. Very good tribute to your dad.
Trina,
ReplyDeleteyou will always remember the day when a loved one passes on. Look how long Mom and Dad has been gone and every May, my heart remembers before my brain does. It's a good thing though. that means that we loved them very much and that we felt the love they felt for us.
I love the memories you have with your Dad, no one can every take them away. love you!
Aunt Loretta
Aw, Trina! Love you!
ReplyDelete